Power!

 

Clench your fists. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Look at them. THAT is what many “leaders” think power is. Having control. Being able to tell people what to do. Being the “leader.” Let me ask you…how much can you give with clenched fists? Don’t you clench your fists when you’re about to FIGHT someone? Is that how a leader leads? By fighting? Doubtful.

 

Now, spread your arms wide, hands open, palms facing up. I know, it’s freaking out folks around you. Keep them wondering…! NOW, how much can you give? All you have, right? Isn’t that more powerful? As one of my mentors, Don Miguel Ruiz says, “You cannot give what you do not have.” And you certainly can’t give with closed fists! But with open arms and hands, you can give what’s most important for a leader to share…Don Miguel would tell you that it’s love!

 

I’ve suggested several times that the most important thing a leader does is care. That’s the truth! And caring is the manifestation of love. Ask Don Miguel!

 

I’ve read books and heard speakers talk about how to manage people. You already know that there’s a HUGE difference between managing and leading. Managers manage things and processes. Leaders empower people to lead themselves! Control is required to make a process work. Caring is required to help people grow! You can’t use management techniques to lead and expect them to follow. Ain’t gonna happen!

 

I served in the United States Air Force for 50 years. Although it’s a bit different in the civilian world, I’m convinced that the measure of a military leader’s ability to lead is based on whether or not her followers are willing to die for her. Maybe it’s NOT that different in the civilian world. Will your followers do ANYTHING they can to protect you? If so, it’s not because you fought with them. It’s because you cared for them.

 

Tony Robbins says that power is the capacity to act effectively. It’s the next level of what dictionary.com says. Who has the capacity to act effectively? Who has power? EVERYONE! If you claim, or aspire, to be a leader, you have to help others empower themselves so that, together, you can accomplish things beyond your separate dreams. As Stephen Covey taught me, 1+1=3 or more.

 

Open your arms! Welcome others and their diverse thoughts! Embrace them! Physically and spiritually! And celebrate their differences. Every one of us is different! But we all want the same things. As Simon Sinek says, we all want to be valued and valuable. Pick the way to do that…with clenched fists or open arms. Only one way will work. Your choice…! 

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                       ¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

 

We Don’t Understand the Struggle!

 

My Princess Number One, our first granddaughter, Nieves, and I were visiting my parents in New Mexico, as was our annual tradition. We stayed with Mom and Dad. They were Old School Types. In other words, they had no internet in the house. Nieves was about twelve at the time. Not having internet was driving her nuts! She couldn’t communicate with her friends back home. She had a phone, but no internet! How unAmerican! I was almost okay without it, but not quite. I decided to help calm Nieves down by taking her to breakfast at McDonald’s, where they DID have internet. As we walked into the restaurant, I was giving Nieves a hard time about her need for online connection. She shut me down quickly when she said, “Opa, you don’t understand the struggle.” I had no reply to her statement. She was right! I didn’t.

 

I’m not sure when it happens, but it does. We all evolve to a point where we think, usually say, “Been there. Done that.” But that’s not so. We’ve NEVER been here, nor done this. Life evolves constantly and, nowadays, faster than ever. 

            

We NEVER understand their struggle…our followers’ struggle. We barely understand OUR struggle. We don’t know what someone else has been through, or is going through, even if we’ve raised them. How many times have you wondered where “that” came from when your child surprises you with a “crazy” thought or behavior? Or one of your followers whom you had finally figured out. Yeah, RIGHT!

            

We don’t understand their struggle, whoever we’re trying to understand, or worse, control. The best we can do is practice empathy. Try to understand that they feel as they do. Don’t judge. You’re not worthy of that. Remember that their struggle is a lot different than yours, especially past struggles. The world changes constantly. To be an effective leader, you have to change, too. Seek to understand them before expecting them to understand you!

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

Discipline vs Punishment

 

There’s a difference between discipline and punishment! If you’re striving to be a leader, know the difference and strive for discipline.

 

We wonder why we have leadership problems in our culture, yet our perspective on developing followers is mostly based on forcing people to do what we want them to do. How’s that working for you?

 

When we strive to develop discipline, we tend to be more effective as leaders. Effectiveness, by the way, is simply getting what you want continuously. We want our followers to be great and do what they should do, even when we’re not around. That’s the sign of a good leader. The root of the word discipline is disciple. Now, I’m not proselytizing here, I’m just telling you the truth. A disciple is a follower. One who follows a leader to the degree of doing what the leader expects without being told. Now, discipleship doesn’t just happen. There has to be a reason followers follow a leader. The most powerful reason is that the leader cares. It may start with the leader saying he/she cares, but the power is in SHOWING you care! How do you show you care? The more you practice caring, the more your followers will follow you. Eventually, they’ll become your disciples. I, myself, am a disciple of several leaders, each of whom has, and many still do, shown me that they care. In MY language, which includes actions! 

 

One of the ways we “discipline” our followers is by making sure everyone pays for the indiscretions of a few, often, one. And, man, does that ever work! NOT! That’s PUNISHMENT! When that happens, and it does, the intent is that everyone will understand that we’re a team and that the actions of one affect everyone. We have to ensure that everyone does what’s right. You’d think we’d know better! Punishing everyone for the actions of one has never worked and never will. Sorry, but that’s the truth!

 

Now, I’m not advocating anarchy! What I AM advocating is that leaders, YOU, consider developing your followers into people who follow you for the right reasons, and do the right things even when you’re not around. That’s discipline. And that’s leading!

 

 

            Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

 

Managing People is Puzzling!

 

I recently read an article titled, “Managing people is puzzling.” Two key terms in that statement: “managing” and “puzzling,” especially as it pertains to “people,” which is the third key term. I’m not very good at math. First of all, you can’t manage people. You can try, but you’ll fail. Managers manage and control things. People are not things. What’s puzzling is why anyone would see a group of persons, or people, as things. And you can’t use management techniques trying to lead people, which is what we say leaders do. The puzzling reference is puzzling if you have a Puzzle Mentality. Managers practice a Puzzle Mentality. Leaders create a Mosaic Mentality. Keep reading. I’ll get you to that soon.

 

            By function, a Puzzle Mentality requires that we, persons, fit a preconceived mold, a picture, a perception, or a vision based on someone else’s perspective of who we should be or what we should do, even how we should do it. That’s restrictive. It’s bounded by external perspectives and influences. It doesn’t allow for creativity or innovation unless it’s creating that preconceived vision.

 

            If you’ve ever done a jigsaw puzzle, you’ve probably used the box, the picture of what the puzzle is supposed to look like, so that it will guide you. The completion of that puzzle is limited to that picture. It’s restrictive. With that mentality, followers can only go so far. They can’t go beyond the boundaries someone else has set. It creates a “where do I fit in mentality.” What if you’re so creative, which is what we’re looking for in our followers, that you DON’T fit in? “Then, I’m out! I’ll find somewhere else to be me.”

 

            With the Mosaic Mentality, which starts at the center and works its way out, there is no mold. There’s a purpose, and each part, each person, creates their own part of the picture by applying what they have to offer to the big picture. There’s no preconceived picture, it grows continuously. It creates a “how do I fit in” mentality that becomes art, and that’s creative and empowering. It’s boundless. Each person creates the picture by applying their best part of themselves. That’s what most of your followers want. They want to be them, not you.

 

            The fourth and final key term in the statement that I shared with you at the beginning of this thought is “is.” I know that you’ve heard someone say that “It is what it is.” Well, actually, NO, It’s NOT!! It is what we make it. Managing people IS puzzling. DON’T! It doesn’t work! That’s what makes it puzzling and exhausting. Discard your Puzzle Mentality and develop a Mosaic Mentality that invites continuous growth. Every person on your team will appreciate you and will give you more…because they’re giving you themselves.

 

Until next time, be GREAT! You ARE! 

HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!