The TRUTH About Leading!

 

Everyone wants to be a leader! You see it online, on social media, in books, EVERYWHERE! Let me ask you the most powerful question you’ll ever be asked as a leader. Who is the toughest, yet most important person you lead? I bet you had all kinds of names and faces, maybe even events, that awaken your memory, ha? I know that I did when I first asked myself that question.

The toughest follower you’ll ever have is YOU! Yes, YOU, yourself. You see, whenever there’s a follower/leader relationship with another person, there’s more of a chance for practicing accountability. I didn’t say that there’s more accountability, but that there’s a higher possibility. Most of us will, at least, consider the consequences of not living up to a promise we’ve made to someone. But the consequences of not living up to a promise we’ve made to ourselves are seemingly excusable. I know, I’m an expert! I’m so good at excusing myself when I choose not to do something I said that I would do, that I have each excuse numbered. I’m not gonna workout today because...number four! The next day, it’s number twenty! But if I told my Accountability Partner that I’d be there at seven tomorrow, chances are I will. I make not like it, but I will. Speaking of will, that’s what it takes to be accountable to ourselves, willpower.

Let’s assume that you agree with me. How can you change yourself to fix yourself? I’m convinced that self-leadership begins with knowing what’s really important to you, your values. We always do what we think is important at the moment. Always! Make some time, or discuss your values with your Accountability Partner, and make some commitments to living by what’s most important to you daily. Your commitment to your values will drive you to discover your purpose. Once you realize why you do what you do and that it’s your purpose for your life, it will drive you. Envision what accomplishing that purpose looks and feels like. “YES! That's me!” will be your motivation. And consider how you influence others as you practice being your true self. Be careful not to let factors influence you away from your purpose, though.

Like everything in our lives, the more we practice leading ourselves, the better we’ll become at it. I’ve always said that if you can see it, you can be it. But ya gotta do the work! This is the work.

You want to be a good leader? Lead yourself first!

Be GREAT! You ARE! HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

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Vision is Powerful!

 

Vision is one of the most important attributes of an Effective Leader. You probably already know that, though. But what’s critical is that you can communicate it to your followers. Now, being a wordsmith of sorts, I know that words can be powerful. But words lose their meaning when they aren’t supported by actions. They gain strength by example, by modeling, particularly when it comes to leading.

 

You’re not going to be an Effective Leader by just telling people what your vision looks like. Your effectiveness will result from SHOWING others what that means. Effective Leaders are also Great Teachers. As Admiral Bobby Ray Inman once said, “A great teacher never strives to explain his vision. He simply invites you to stand beside him and see for yourself.” Chances are, you’ll probably need to use words, but the real effectiveness will result when you can show others what you mean, when they, too, can see your vision.

 

As Thomas Edison famously said, “Vision without execution is hallucination.” If your vision is to lead a group of Effective Followers and Leaders, you have to be one yourself. And when they behave as you do in accordance with that vision, you have to explain the effects of it so that they can continue to behave that way themselves. Leadership guru, Warren Bennis said that “Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality.” First, YOU have to do that, and as you model that vision, as you explain and nurture it among your followers, your team will also do it. That’s the power of vision.

 

Until next time,

 

Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

  

When’s YOUR Bye?!

 

I’m an NFL fan only around this time every year. I watch football on Sundays because Deb makes some incredible popcorn for me. Hey! Full disclosure. One of the interesting things about some sports is what is known as a “bye.” Knowing this term is important if you want to fit in with the folks who are actual fans. Who has a bye is very important. As it should be.

 

Apple AI describes this phenomenon as “A bye week in sports, particularly in the NFL, is a scheduled week during the season when a team does not play a game, allowing players to rest and regroup. Each NFL team has one bye week during the 18-week regular season.” 

Okay, you started reading this because you’re interested in leading effectively. Well, here’s the point. WAIT! Let me tell you a story first. It’s my nature.

My family and I are stationed at Ramstein Air Base in Germany. I'm the Deputy Director of the Family Support Center, serving about 40,000 Americans in the Kaiserslautern Military Community. I'm at my office. In civilian clothes. On leave, at least officially. I'm working on my Master's Degrees at the time and have to submit some paperwork to the University of Oklahoma office, which happens to be on the top floor of the building my office is in. I head up, looking for Heidi Kennedy, the young lady in charge of that office. I submit my paperwork to her, and we start to chit-chat. She asks me why I'm in civvies. Attempting to be cute, I tell her that "you'll always know when I'm on leave because I'll be in the office in civvies." That's kinda cute, isn't it? Man, does she set me straight as she asks, point-blank, "What do you think you're showing your Airmen? That they, too, should take their leave and go to work in civvies?" Reevaluation moment right there! I never did that again. And I made sure my followers didn't do that, either.

 

I’ve always led. Always! And one of the things that I was taught that I should do to be an Effective Leader is best described by a commercial from the 60’s. Yeah, I was around then. Believe it or not. The tag line was “The best never rest.” I learned how to emulate that admonishment. I became a workaholic. All of my peers were, too. I may share my updated perspective on that thought with you sometime, but for now, I want to tell you that it’s stupid!

 

If you’re to lead effectively you have to take care of yourself, FIRST! And always. Yeah, that sounds selfish but let me tell you that you cannot give what you do not have. AND your followers are watching. They’re going to do what you do, not what you say.

 

The key to that description of “bye” is “allowing players to rest and regroup.” You HAVE to rest! You DO! Or you’ll break. You WILL! Trust me! Commit to giving yourself a bye whenever you need it. Look forward, not backward. I shoulda doesn’t work here. Put it on your calendar. RIGHT NOW! I’ll wait! Now, live up to it so that you can live longer and more effectively. When’s YOUR bye?!

 

Until next time, How bout dem Cowboys?! 

 

HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

Never Assume That You Communicated!

 

The youngster in charge of a crew I had moving a ladder comes up to me and announces, “Chief, we got the ladder put up where you said to.” I trust him, but I should verify. I ask him to accompany me to where I asked him to have the ladder placed. As we get to the spot I wanted it in, I look around, but there’s no ladder there. “Where is it?” I ask the youngster, who gives me a confused look. “We put it over there,” he points to a totally different spot. “I said I wanted  it here!” I reply a little perplexed. Now, we all know that communication is a key element of leading effectively. And if you analyze that story, you’ll find that there are two communication failures. The first failure is easy to notice. The assumption is that the youngster didn’t listen to me. Or at least not attentively enough to know exactly where I wanted that ladder placed. I remember being young. My mind ran at a lot faster speed than it does now. It ain’t old age! It’s the altitude! Anyway, in my zealousness, I was intent on getting a lot done, which meant that I didn’t listen as well as I should have. I was, often, in such a hurry to get things done that I didn’t do the right things nor did them the right way, because I wasn’t listening as I should have. The first failure was a followership issue. A good follower listens! The second failure is the leadership failure. We ALWAYS, or at least almost always, assume that what we said was heard and understood. Just a few minutes ago, Deb, my lovely bride of forty-eight wonderful and fulfilling years, sent me off to get some takeout. You may be wondering what that has to do with leadership. If you’re married, you know. As I finished placing my order, the voice emanating from the squawk box asked if I had a loyalty card and suggested I give the person at the window the number. I know we have one, but I wasn’t carrying it, so I called Deb to ask her for it. She reminded me that she’d told me that she would take care of it when I got home, just make sure to get the receipt. Here’s where she went wrong, not I! She assumed I’d heard her and understood what she’d told me. NOPE! If she told me, I was focused on something else, like finding my car keys. You ever listen to someone while you’re looking for your car keys? Ain’t happening! The leadership failure we often make is in thinking that what we said was, first, heard, then understood. That’s an honest assumption, but a communication failure, nonetheless. As George Bernard Shaw said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” If you’re ever to be an effective follower, which all effective leaders are, you have to listen, especially if you’re being given instructions. If you’re ever to be an effective leader, you have to ensure that what you say is heard and understood. Start with talking THEIR language. Not yours. Ask the listener if she/he understood and ask them to tell you what they heard. Now, do it in a kind and professional way. If you’re rude about it, they won’t listen to you at all. Yes, communication is critical for any team to succeed. Don’t assume anything. You know what it does to you and me! 

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE! 

HEIRPOWER! 

bob vásquez! 

What’s Your Legacy?

 

A legacy, by definition, is “a gift.” I looked it up! When you lead, you’re providing a gift to your followers. If you’ve done it right, you’ve given them a gift that they will, in turn, pass on to THEIR followers. That’s the value of leaving a legacy. And we all do…leave a legacy. I’m convinced that most of us, if not all of us, would prefer to leave a legacy of being good leaders.

 

The other day, I was walking the halls of the United States Air Force Academy when I noticed a young captain leaning against a wall, looking at his cell phone, probably texting. As I came upon him, he acknowledged me by saying good morning, and as he did so, he noticed who I was and smiled as he almost proclaimed, “Chief Vásquez!” People do that! Often, with the expectation that I remember them. I’ve met a lot of people in my short time on this earth. I can’t remember them all. It ain’t old age! It’s the altitude! Anyways, I said hello and, not being able to help myself, I stopped to chat with him. Yeah, I know that not everyone has time to listen to my stories, but most people respect me enough to humor me. I appreciate that.

 

The captain reminded me that he’d been one of my students about seventeen years ago. Man, I REALLY don’t remember that far back! We talked about the workshop he’d attended with me. I asked him if he remembered what I attempted to teach him. He did! Not everything, but some things, which is, I think, enough. What he recalled most was how I made him feel, which was “good.” Empowered is what he described. Empowered to strive to be a better person daily. That’s my legacy.

 

As I said before, we all leave some kind of legacy. What will yours be? When you leave the team, group, or organization that you’re a part of now, what gifts will you leave those who remain? What will they say about you? You know they will, right? What would you LIKE them to say? You can control that to some degree, you know, by your behavior. If you want people to remember you as kind, be kind! Loving? Love! You catch my drift.

 

In my life, the measure of success, especially as a dad, which is one of my most important roles, is that my daughters know that I love them. The test is when I tell them that I love them and they respond with, “I know.” One of my favorite maxims is, “When you came into this world you cried and the people rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you leave this world the people will cry and you will rejoice.” Strive to leave a legacy that people will appreciate. Start now!

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

                                             

¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

 

 

 

The Key to the Many, Is the ONE!

 

Dr Stephen Covey taught me that the key to the many, is the one.  We often think that being an effective leader is tied to leading lots of people. Although the truth is that it’s often more like leading lots of cats. We often believe that the more people we lead, the more effective we must be as a leader. That’s all rubbish. We can “lead” a lot of people and be totally ineffective, as well as lead one person who makes a huge impact on the world and others. The numbers are all relative. Except one. 

 

The key to leading is modeling. You can talk all you want, until you’re blue in the face, and still no one will follow you. But what your followers WILL follow is what you do. Good leaders are good teachers, and the most effective way to teach is to show, especially in the realm of leading. Hence, the importance of that number, one. The key to the many, is the one. I added what makes that statement incredibly effective, I think. “I am the one!” It’s ME! I make the difference. I wish that I’d been able to study with another great Effective Leader who epitomized this entire essay, Mahatma Gandhi. You may remember one of his most profound teachings, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

 

I remember my granddaughter, Nieves, probably five years old at the time, doing something that intrigued me. I asked her, “Nieves, why do you do that that way?” She looked me in the eye, almost surprised by my question, and answered, “Because YOU do, Opa!”

 

If you want to be an Effective Leader, you have to behave like one. You have to do what an Effective Leader does. Jim Cathcart, author of The Acorn Principle, asks another question that every Effective Leader should ask daily, several times a day, as a matter of effectiveness. His question is, “How would the person I want to be do what I’m about to do?” 

 

Be that person. An Effective Leader. Act like one. The key to the many, is the one. YOU are the one!

 

Until next time, be GREAT! You ARE! 

 

HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

 

 

The Mystery of Leading….

 

One of the mysteries of leading is whether or not you made a difference. Did your guiding, teaching, caring, loving help to make that person a better person? More often than not, we’ll never know. That old saying, “We don’t know what we don’t know,” is powerfully true when attempting to lead others, maybe ourselves, too. I’ll have to ponder that one.

 

    It’s great when you DO learn whether or not “they got it.” If there’s evidence that they didn’t, you’ll quickly question what you might have done differently and more effectively. Don’t burn yourself out doing that. Too many external influences to figure that out.

 

    What a blessing when you discover that your effort DID work! I was with my daughter and her family in Missouri a couple of weeks ago. Elyse is my baby, so whenever she asks me to do something, I do it. You know what I mean if you have a daughter or daughters. Shortly upon my arrival, Elyse asked me if I would be willing to speak to the sixth graders at the middle school where she works. I love kids! All of them! I accepted her invitation after asking what she wanted me to talk about. Character and leading were what she was looking for the kids to get some guidance on. Those are my specialties, so I accepted, not realizing that she wanted me to do four talks that week. Hey! Anything for my girls!

 

    I talked with all of the sixth graders about making good choices and some of the virtues of good character, selflessness being one of those. As I just said, I didn’t know if they got it. I believed they did, but no way to know, until I did!

 

    I talked with my 11-year-old granddaughter’s class on the last day that I was there. Pequeña, my 11-year-old granddaughter, was in that class. She was like a sponge! She heard every word that I said, evidently. And understood the message. That evening, as we prepared to watch a movie together as a family, Pequeña asked if anyone wanted popcorn. We’re a popcorn-loving family, so everyone raised their hands. She was excited about popping that popcorn for all of us. She did, then filled a bowl of it for each of us. She’s a good popcorn popper, by the way. As we began watching the movie, I noticed that she didn’t seem to have a bowl of popcorn. I asked her if that was the case. She acknowledged that there hadn’t been enough for everyone, so she served everyone except herself. WHAT?! She’s eleven! What eleven-year-old kid does that?! Well, Pequeña does. She hadn’t said anything. She would have gone without had I not noticed. Luckily, her mom suggested that there might be a bag in the cupboard. She found it, popped it, and shared it again, this time, taking some for herself. You know that Warriors don’t cry…but sometimes our eyeballs sweat. Who’s crying? I’m not crying!

 

I can see that scene in my mind and my heart as if it were just occurring. There’s little better than knowing that HEIRPOWER! does exist and that you and I can help our followers and loved ones create it. Whether we’re “successful” will remain a mystery, but also a blessing when it’s validated. THANK YOU, Pequeña, for being you!

 

Until next time, be GREAT! You ARE!

 

HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!