Get Out of the Way!

 

I’m a Band Guy! I can’t help it! I’ve played several instruments. I’m not a singer. There’s evidence of that. I can’t stand being at an event where the National Anthem is played or sung, and the audience joins in. Most can’t sing! I know what good singing sounds like. I just can’t do it myself.

 

            Deb and I attend the Air Force Academy Men’s basketball games as season ticket owners. We have the best seats in Clune Arena, with one exception. You can hear EVERYONE singing as the middle school kids who are standing at center court singing their hearts out. Let them sing! Shut up! Sorry. I get animated when I think of this.

 

            First, be respectful of the performers who, surely, practiced a lot to be prepared to showcase their work. They really don’t need your help! Especially since you weren’t at the rehearsals.

 

            This disregard for those performers is not unlike what’s happening in our society right now. Everyone thinks they have a better version of the song and, by God, they have the right to disrespect anyone who doesn’t agree with their version!

 

            Instead of singing at the top of your lungs, why don’t you quietly hum along? That should satisfy your need to be in the spotlight without taking the spotlight away from the folks on the court. 

 

            I understand that as a UNITED States of America (although we’re not quite united lately), everyone’s voice should be heard. I agree, but at the right time and at the right place and right volume! We can’t all be right all the time. Sometimes we need to practice humility and let others share their voice, too.

 

            As I said, I’m a Band Guy! I’ve been honored to play with some extraordinary people who made up incredible ensembles. One of the characteristics of those descriptions is the humility expressed by the musicians on the set. There’s nothing like playing in a band with cats who don’t get in each others’ way. Even better, who support each other.

 

            One of my favorite mentors, Chief Master Sergeant (deceased) Jessie Brown, a great musician in his own right, once gave me a huge compliment about my conga playing. He said, “What I like about your playing, Bob, is that you don’t get in the way.” I’m not sure I’ve ever been a great, or even good conguero, but I do know that my purpose was always to support the other players, not to be the star. I see that as a form of humility.

 

            I have to admit, I DO sing. LOUDLY! In my car. With the windows up. There’s a time and place to express yourself. Be respectful of others and find that time and place. Then sing like no one’s listening!

 

            I say all of this to make a point about leading. One of the most important things a leader does is get out of the way. Respect your followers. Do the work and find out how much they’ve worked to accomplish what they’ve accomplished and encourage them to do even more. Don’t butt in. Let them thrive! It’s usually easier to do the task yourself because you can do it better. But what you’re doing when you do that is destroying the harmony needed to sustain a good team.

 

            You’ll get your chance to sing, but a leader whose interest is the team, not the self, sings background… quietly.

 

Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

Amateurs vs Professionals

 

Dr Stephen Covey shared a profound truth with me that I share with people in the service business because it’s incredibly powerful, especially when executed properly. Here's the thought…. “Amateurs sell products. Professionals sell solutions.” Read that again. “Amateurs sell products. Professionals sell solutions.”

        I retired from the United States Air Force twenty-four years ago. I remember going over to the Personnel Office as I was trying to get my retirement paperwork completed. I needed one last document to finish the process. I found the office and a young person behind the counter. I explained what I was intending to do and that I needed said document. Her eyes shone as she encouraged me to go online and download a form XXX. Piece of cake! NOT! I did download the form back at my office, but I didn’t understand many of the questions on it, nor what to do with it. I returned to the same office and found the same young person. She gave me more information. I went back to my office. Completed the form. Returned to her. After several trips back and forth, I completed everything as required, and here I am! God bless her. She could have used some guidance, but didn’t, obviously, have the tools to be a professional. She tried her best, though.

 

    What a professional would have done is understood my intent, that is, completing all of my retirement paperwork so that I could go on my new adventure, then guided me toward that end. “Chief, here’s what you need. Let me download that form for you and help you fill it out. We’ll do it right here and right now. Do you have all of the other documents you need? If not, we’ll fill them out now, too.” See the difference? Now, you may say that the young person had other things to do than to take care of an old Chief who was, evidently, worn out. But the time and effort we both invested in the product, could have been better invested in the solution.

 

    What does that person you’re intending to serve need to reach the final solution? Does the person have all the resources needed to accomplish that? If not, do you? If not, can you find someone who does?

 

       I’m convinced that we all want to be known as professionals by those we serve. It’s not that difficult to be so. But it starts with knowing where you need to go and making the time to do it right. Every person we serve deserves that. We all start as amateurs, but success will come when we’re professionals. Amateurs sell products. Professionals create solutions!

 

       Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                   ¡HEIRPOWER!

                             

                                  Chief bob vásquez!

 

Know and Care!

 

You may have heard the kind-of-a-joke that goes like, “What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?” the answer being, “I don’t know, and I don’t care.” It’s almost funny, but as my mentor, Dava Flowers, suggested in an email, maybe we should think about those two topics because the Youngsters are looking for a better answer. Dava is a Youngster. She’s twenty. A college student. She’s a leader in the Civil Air Patrol (CAP). The email was about Dava and Nicholas Tupper, also a Youngster, and CAP Cadet, had hosted a "Fight Apathy" Meeting “where young people from my school can come together and share leadership stories and humanitarian ideas with other students and the leaders in my community.” Do you see why these Youngsters have become my mentors?

I, way too often, hear Old Schoolers complain about our Youngsters, they may be your followers, who live in an “all about me” culture. All they care about is themselves. Maybe. But if that’s so, where did that culture come from? They didn’t create it. They inherited, or assimilated into, it. I’m convinced that our followers, including our Youngsters, care. I think that, by Nature, they have to care. The challenge is what do they care about? That’s where we Oldsters come in.

How many times have you heard that (always others) “they don’t know what they don’t know?” That’s ignorance. We’re ALL ignorant of something! In my case, many things! I’m okay with that. I try to make up for that by learning as much as I can about as much as I can. Maybe you, Leader, should find out what your followers do, or don’t, know (which, by the way, would make you less ignorant) and help them to know! Interestingly, Dava’s note referred to action as she stated that her goal was to get her peers to “ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING.” One of my most favoritest adages is, “To know but not to do is not to know.” I’m not sure who said it, but it’s a profound thought. As a leader, you’re charged with leading. Duh…! Where? YOU don’t know unless you know what your followers know! And that takes getting to know them. Start there! Once you know what they know, or don’t, you can, with them, set a direction for growth. And you know what you’ll accomplish that’s deeper than you anticipated? They’ll know that you care! WHOA! My leader cares! What a GREAT climate to live and work in!

Your followers care. They do! About what? Find out! Then guide them toward assimilating what they care about with what you care about and what you BOTH care about. There’s power in that! When we all care about the same thing, we’re likely to do something about it, as Dava expects from her peers. But until you make the time to get to know them, YOU won’t know what they don’t know.

Notice that I introduced Dava as my mentor. I’ll soon, I hope, write a book titled PowerPact Mentoring, which will be based on a workshop I do. Traditionally, the mentoring process is an Old Schooler guiding a Youngster toward some end. We live in a new world. Dava and I will soon launch a podcast that we’re calling Creating Leaders of Character. Her main purpose in that project is to help me to know what I don’t know. Help me reduce my ignorance of who our Youngsters are and how they think. I don’t really lead anyone anymore, but as I encourage you to be a leader, I need to know about our followers so that I can give you better advice.

So, (as all Youngsters start every sentence) get to know your followers and show them that you care. Life, and leading, is so simple once you understand the complexities! Know and care! That is all!

Be GREAT!

You ARE!

¡HEIRPOWER!

Chief bob vásquez!

Happy Interdependence Day!

 

Independence Day! Fourth of July!  Words that conjure up visions of neighborhood barbecues, family reunions, hometown parades, afternoon concerts in the park, fireworks, and…you get the picture!  Great ways to celebrate!  Celebrate what?  Independence?  Yes. Historically, Fourth of July celebrations commemorate the anniversary of U.S. independence, but few of us really think about that as we enjoy the day and the long weekend.  Do you?

 

What I think about on this most important day is celebrating interdependence!  When we use the term “United States,” we usually think of a country bordered by the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans on the east and west and by Canada and Mexico on the north and south.  Geographically, that is correct.  However, what’s really most important about the United States is its internal makeup.  People!  People of diverse backgrounds and cultures that somehow accept each other, for the most part, and interact, combine their efforts, and become one nation.  

 

Do you remember the concept of the melting pot?  It was the idea that someday all of the different cultures represented in the U.S. would combine into one.  I refer to that idea in the past tense because I’m not sure anyone subscribes to it anymore.  Not too many years ago, another concept evolved using the illustration of the salad bowl.  The idea of the salad bowl is that it takes many different individual ingredients to make up a healthy dish.  Each of which is important to the whole.  You can have a salad without some of the ingredients, but it won’t taste the same, nor will it maintain its health value.  Such is the culture of the United States.  People who call themselves African Americans, Hispanics, Asian Americans, Italian Americans, Irish Americans, and the list goes on, each have their own individual histories, traditions, and cultures that, together, make us one people. We call ourselves, and each other, Americans.

 

There is nothing that any of us can do on a daily basis that isn’t somehow dependent on someone else to do their part.  What’s made the United States a great nation is that we’ve accepted each other’s differences and have built on them.  As Dr Stephen Covey said, “Unity is not sameness, it’s complementariness.”  He went on to challenge us to “celebrate the differences!”

 

As we celebrate Independence Day and the freedom that comes with it, consider that the greatest freedom is the opportunity to appreciate the many different contributions our neighbors and coworkers have made to helping us enjoy the life we lead. Be grateful for that.  We’re all different, but we’re all the same.  We’re free because of what we do for each other.  Think of this day, the Fourth of July, as Interdependence Day! 

 

 

Isn’t this a GREAT day to be an American?!

 

HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

Help Helps!

 

Years ago, I added Yoga to my daily startup routine. I enjoy it because it helps me get in the right frame of mind to start my day. It’s a form of meditation as well as stretching. I prepare my mind and my body for the day. Anyway, not too long ago, I decided to add a couple of minutes of meditation, which I’m not very good at, to begin each session. I do this via an audio recording of the Yoga Master Rodney Yee.  

    It's almost interesting that I found that although those additional two minutes of pure meditation, which are just a clip from the rest of the audio recording, are meant to help me relax and just be, before I do, it’s very difficult for me…until Sensei Lee starts talking and tells me to do what I was supposed to be doing without his guidance. Once he tells me to relax, I do so much more effectively. Help helps.

 

    I grew up in a culture where being “manly” was how I was supposed to behave. Serving in the military didn’t help that. Especially as a senior leader. I learned to “power through” whatever ailed me. I was a leader, by God, and leaders don’t let their followers see them sweat. (I even said that to some of my proteges.)

 

    There’s nothing wrong, and a lot RIGHT, with seeking help. Most of us aren’t so good that a little help might not help us empower ourselves to be even better. Sometimes we call those helpers accountability partners, sometimes we call them coaches. We even call them physicians and mental health providers. My best help, though, is my bride. She guides me a LOT! Except when we have to decide where to have lunch….

 

    I coach and mentor many folks. None of those relationships are formal. I just do it for them as needed and wanted. And, interestingly, they coach and mentor me in return. 

 

    Humans are relational beings. We need help to be our best selves. Unfortunately, there’s a stigma attached to seeking it. I’ll go out on a limb and say that it’s probably more difficult for men to seek help than women. Women are a lot smarter than men. That’s the truth!

 

    If you aspire to be a leader, especially an Effective Leader, you’re going to need help. None of us does it alone. Speaker and author, René Brown, talks a lot about vulnerability and its importance to our health. Effective Leaders are vulnerable. And their followers appreciate them for it.

 

    I’m going to continue to strive to reach enlightenment for a couple of minutes without Master Lee every morning. I’m not sure I’ll reach it. But I do know that I’ll come closer once I hear his voice. Help helps! Seek it when you need it. Unapologetically! We all need it. It will help you be a better you. And we need you to help us be us!

 

      Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                     ¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

 

Real Success!

I hope you’ll make time to read a book by Viktor Frankl titled Man’s Search for Meaning. It will open your eyes to many things you hadn’t thought about before.

In the introduction, Frankl writes that “success must not be pursued, it must ensue.” The word, ensue, if you’re not familiar with it, means that it is a result of something. When we pursue, we set our sights on that thing, and if we’re “truly focused,” that’s what we’re engulfed in doing. When something ensues, it’s almost a serendipitous conclusion that’s based on behaviors and actions that affect others more deeply than the conclusion itself.

I’m going to go out on a limb and state that all of us want to succeed. The important questions are "At what? and “How?” I recently saw a poster that read “Great leaders don’t set out to be a leader…they set out to make a difference. It’s never about the role - always about the goal.” I’m not sure who said it, but I think that’s what Frankl meant as well. The goal, or success, being making a difference.

Leading requires passion. Effective Leaders are passionate about helping others empower themselves to become who THEY can be, not what the “leader” wants them to be. Another great quote I recently came across says, “The first thing you should know about me is that I am not you. A lot more will make sense after that.” Again, an unknown author.

If your goal or your purpose, your measure of success, is how many people you’ve turned into you, or a semblance of you, that’s not success. Success in leading is when a person becomes who they were meant to be, and you, somehow, helped them become so.  

My life’s purpose is to help others achieve theirs. Not mine. I know that my purpose may not be everyone’s. It took me decades to figure that out. I encourage you to consider that even if you don’t agree with someone else’s purpose or mission in life, it’s okay. As My Brother, Dave Campanale, taught me, get over it!

Whether you’re leading at work or at home, figure out what your followers dream of becoming, respect them for it, and help them out as best you can. The world needs all of our successes, not just the ones we consider right.

Real success is making a difference. That difference is in helping others be themselves.

Be GREAT! You ARE!

HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

Mentors and Mentoring

 

Mentors are important! Some of my mentors don’t know they are…my mentors, that is. I’ve had several, and still do, each of whom has mentored me in different areas of my life. My longest-standing mentor is Chief  Master Sergeant (Retired) John Sterle, who was the first to see me as a Chief. I’ve tried to emulate him since I first met him. Not sure I meet the mark, but I’m still giving it all I have.

Sometimes, we become mentors without knowing it, like Simon Sinek, Stephen Covey, Don Miguel Ruiz Jr, Robin Sharma, DJ “Eagle Bear” Vanas, Dr Tom Boyd, Mother Theresa, and others are to me.

I remember, then Master Sergeant Al Thompson, who was the Commandant of the Airman Leadership School at Kapaun Air Station in Germany, inviting me to speak to his students just after I’d arrived at Ramstein Air Base. He’d attended my Noncommissioned Officers Academy at March Air Force Base California, while I was the Commandant there. I accepted his invitation. I was struck by his introducing me as his mentor of many years. I didn’t know! We’d kept in touch, and I suppose I’d guided him once in a while, but I didn’t know I had a TITLE! I was proud, of course, but a bit bumfoozled at the same time. By the way, we’ve maintained a strong relationship for decades. 

Writing is how we’re mentored and mentor nowadays. Mostly on some type of social media. I, personally, write like I speak. I think you’d agree if we’ve ever talked face-to-face. I like the reader to feel as though I’m speaking directly to her or him. I like to read the same way, as if the author is speaking to me, specifically. That’s why I say all of the folks I mentioned above are my mentors. We have continuous personal conversations every time I read something they’ve written. I’ll admit, though, that the best mentoring is eye-to-eye, when we can listen to each other’s hearts as well as the words we exchange.

I developed a mentoring process several years ago that I may develop into a book one day, but what I want to impress upon you in this writing is that we often think a person is big enough and wise enough to mentor us about everything we seek help with. Not necessarily. Seek several mentors in their specific areas of expertise. Simon mentors me on youngsters and current leadership views, Dr Tom mentors me on spiritual issues, Don Miguel often guides me and verifies my understanding of the Toltec and Yaqui ways. DJ mentors me on my writing. Oh, I forgot Deb, my lovely bride of forty-four wonderful and fulfilling years. She mentors me on how to be a loving husband, which is the most important role I play on a daily basis. Oh! Can't forget my girls and their families. I try to mentor, not judge....

My mentors lead me in their expertise, and I’m more than willing to follow them. BJ Neblett said that “we are the sum total of our experiences.” Maybe. Don’t disregard learning from others’ experiences. Many folks near and far would be willing to mentor you. Just ask.

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!