Balance is a Choice!

  Here’s the good news…we CAN do it all! Here’s the bad news…not all at once!

Whoever came up with the idea of multi-tasking has messed us up as a culture. We can’t do that! There’s plenty of research on the subject that proves that we can’t do a lot of things at once. When we try to do so, we do most, if not all, of those things less efficiently. Sorry, but that’s the truth!

Knowing that, then, how do we balance work and family? First, we have to define balance. We have this vision in our heads that balance is like the scales of justice. Two parts, evenly divided, fifty-fifty. Work and family balance is almost never fifty-fifty. That is, we don’t invest fifty percent of our lives at work and fifty percent at home. Have you ever walked across a balance beam, maybe in gym class? Did you just walk across it, evenly? Or did you teeter this way and that way, until you reached the end? More the latter, right?

That’s the way we balance work and family, we teeter a little this way, then that way, then this way again, depending on what’s happening at the moment. The key, though, is staying focused on the moment, staying present and doing what should be done right now. It starts with knowing what’s really important to us, our values, and doing that as best we can.

Here’s an example. My family is way more important to me than my work. Sorry! I love you, teammates, but not that much! When my first granddaughter, Nieves, used to stay at our home, she’d come down the stairs from her upstairs bedroom and I would stop her at the bottom stair, hug her good morning, then carry her to my office, which is right next to the stairway. I’d have her sit on my lap for a couple of minutes and we’d just sit there, enjoying the mutual solitude. The choice for balance is in this…my computer, which is on the desk next to that chair, would carry on accepting emails and messages. Ding! You have mail! I had to choose whether or not to turn around and see what the message was or to sit, quietly, with my granddaughter, whom I say is more important. Man, but what if POTUS writes me asking me for my advice? I, surely, don’t want to miss that email! Where did I say balance starts? With our values! I ALWAYS chose Nieves over those emails. And you know, we both felt better having done so. 

Here’s another example. The boss comes into your office and asks you to stay an extra hour to complete a few tasks. What do you do? Most of us would agree to stay. But is that what you SHOULD do? You want to balance your work life with your family life? Choose wisely! Maybe you should tell the boss that you have plans to take your spouse out for dinner in an hour, to celebrate your anniversary. Maybe the boss doesn’t know that your daughter is performing her first ballet recital this evening. I’m convinced that most bosses would understand, them having been there, too, and would let you go. You have to choose!

Once you’ve made that right choice, focus on it. Don’t be at your anniversary dinner looking at your iPhone. In fact, leave it in the car, if you have to carry it at all. The balance in your life will come from being present with your spouse for that short period of time. The work will still be there when you get back to the office, trust me. 

Balance is a choice. Choose what’s most important at the moment and do that. Sometimes, it will be work. But not most times. Balancing work and family is going to be dynamic. When you choose to be with family, be there, not half there, completely there. Same goes for work, but you probably already have that down, don’t you?  

Balance is a choice! And it becomes a skill the more you practice it. Like most skills, it may take some effort, but, man, is it ever worth it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go say good morning to Nieves’ mom.

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

                                        ¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!