My good friend and Chosen Sister, Cindy Brookins Yslas, posted a thought on Facebook recently that reminded me of something that all leaders should practice. The post was a quote that said, “Don’t you hate it when people know something about you but don’t tell you (perhaps to save your feelings)… trust me, I want/deserve to know!!!” Effective Leaders tell their Followers what they need to know to succeed at whatever it is they’re doing. Even if it hurts. It’ll hurt more if you don’t. Here’s an example….
Not that long ago, I was speaking at a Noncommissioned Officer Academy Graduation Dinner. If you haven’t been to one, get invited to one and attend. They’re always great events. Anyway, the dress for the dinner was formal so I wore my mess dress, which is more-or-less a tux for military members. Man, did I look good in it…still do…! Since I was doing those types of events regularly then, my mess dress travel bag was always at the ready. It included everything I would need for an occasion such as that. That uniform required the wearing of a bow tie. I never learned how to tie one, so I had a clip-on. I’d had that clip-on for a while, evidently, because the clip was bent and about to break. It was a weekend and evening, so I had no way to replace it. I had to make it work. Been there. Done that.
I rigged that clip-on bow tie so that it would last through the night. Or so I thought and expected. I arrived at the event during the social hour, as usual. My normal routine was to get to know and chat with my audience as much as possible so that I could tailor my talk to them. I started at the far end of the ballroom, shaking hands, hugging, and chatting with everyone I could, while making my way to the entrance of the room where I would congregate with the host and other distinguished guests. I must have made a couple of hundred new friends as I approached the entrance. Just shy of where I intended to stop, a senior officer came up to me, shook my hand, introduced himself, and whispered to me, “Chief, do you know that you’re not wearing a tie?” WHAT? I’m the epitome of dress and appearance! I’m known as the Ruggedly Handsome Chief! How can I not be wearing a tie? I immediately touched my neck to verify that I, indeed, WAS wearing a tie. He was right! I couldn’t believe it! I thanked him and proceeded to look for my tie. I knew that I was wearing it when I walked into the building. I looked back to where I’d started greeting folks and halfway between there and where I was, my tie lay on the floor. I’d greeted a bunch of folks between there and here, but no one, not one person, had told me that my tie had come off. Needless to say, I was disappointed. I went back, picked up my tie, headed to the bathroom where I stuck it onto my shirt so that I wouldn’t lose it again, and eventually did my talk. The tie stayed on the rest of the evening, and I got a standing ovation for my talk.
As Cindy’s post reminded me, and I remind you, tell people what they need to know. Even if it hurts their feelings. It actually hurt my feelings that no one told me I was out of uniform that evening. Effective Leaders hold each other accountable. Telling someone that they have parsley between their teeth may be embarrassing for you, but it’ll be MORE embarrassing for the other person AND you, if you don’t. Please, tell me when I’m wrong!
Until next time, be GREAT! You ARE! ¡HEIRPOWER!
bob vásquez!
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