They're Late. Now What?!

I’m teaching at the United States Air Force Academy. I’ve got an appointment with a Freshman Cadet (Four Degree). He’s late. I’m not. I was brought up on “Lombardi Time.” You know, “If you're 15 minutes early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late!” Maybe you know, but do your followers? If they do, GREAT! If they don’t, TEACH THEM! Otherwise, who will?!

 

So, I go to our agreed-upon meeting place. There are other cadets there, so I make good use of my time and chat with them. I encourage, maybe even inspire, a few. Mostly, I learn about them. I call that HEIRPOWER!

 

Five minutes after our scheduled meeting time. Then ten. The old expectation is that one waits five minutes for a professor, ten for a PhD. I don’t know who taught me that, but I’ve always subscribed to it. Now, I know that this young man doesn’t have any type of degree, but I’m still waiting. I finally figure that something has gone awry. Maybe I noted it incorrectly on my calendar. That’s happened before.

 

As I stand up to get back to my office, I see the Four Degree runnning up the stairs at full speed, two steps at a time, sweating and breathing hard. He comes up to me and says, “I’m sorry, Chief. I know I’m late, but I’m not a bad kid.” WOW, I think, what kind of culture have we created that a young man, whose life’s dream has been to attend this prestigious institution even thinks that he might be considered a bad kid for being 10 minutes late?

 

He tells me why he’s late. I accept his reason and accept his apology. I wasn’t THAT busy! We went on with the purpose of the meeting at which, by the way, I learned that one of his major problems was that he hadn’t been taught how to manage his time as a freshman at the Air Force Academy. That’s a critical skill. And it can be taught and learned. I sent him to my friend who taught a “Time Management” class to help him out. My friend helped him out. The Four Degree learned how to manage himself and eventually graduated.

 

Just in case it hasn’t happened to you, but it might, what’s your reaction when one of your followers is late? If it happens often, go deeper than what I’m about to admonish you to consider. But, say, the first, or maybe even second time.  What SHOULD you do? I studied with Stephen Covey, the author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. One of those seven habits is, “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.” He taught me that in person. He modelled it for me. There’s a story…. The essence of that story lies in considering “Why?” Or “What happened?” And trying to understand, without prejudice or judgement, what actually happened and how to correct it. Mutually. Not you yelling at the follower, but, together, working out the solution.

 

Danny Meyer, author of Setting the Table, suggests that when things like this happen, “Make the charitable assumption. Assume the best of people, even when (or perhaps especially when) they weren’t behaving particularly well. So, instead of immediately expressing disappointment with an employee who has shown up late and launching into a lecture on how they’ve let down the team, ask first, ‘You’re late; is everything okay?’”

This is not a default reaction. We want to know WHY ARE YOU LATE?! Not, are you okay? If you do, you didn’t need to read this. You already know it. But as Samuel Johnson once said,“People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed.” 

The power of leading lies in the relationships you create and maintain with your followers. Trust is critical to that relationship. If your followers KNOW, TRUST, that you’re not going to kill them for being a few minutes late, they may tell you some deep secret that you should know about them that you can help them with. Then they’ll trust you and follow you, which is the only reason you’re a leader.

Empathy is key. Don’t judge. Understand. Create trust. Lead effectively! Oh, don’t be late!

Until next time,

Be GREAT!

You ARE!

 

HEIRPOWER!