Don't Gripe!

 

Having just arrived at this particular assignment, I’m sitting at my desk, minding my own business, for once, when, all of a sudden, this Master Sergeant, whom I’d never met before, walks into my office, slams the door shut, and starts yelling at me. I’m totally taken by surprise. I try to listen, but I’m not used to strangers yelling at me. After all, I’m a Chief! As she continues, I get frustrated pretty quickly and, literally, have to stand up, slam my hands on my desk, and shout above her to “Stand down!” She does, with the look of “Did I just do that?” on her face. I remind her of who I am, and the relationship we should be expressing at the moment, which should be one of mutual respect, and that she was violating that standard. She apologizes, sincerely. I can see it in her face and hear it in her voice. As she calms down, she relates her frustration to me. We had a mutually respectful conversation after that and she eventually left my office on good terms.

 

            Whether you’re in the role of leader or follower or just a person, never, ever, just gripe! It never gets you anywhere. Now, some of you may disagree and support the value of venting. There’s a difference. I looked it up! To gripe, by definition, means to “express a complaint or grumble about something, especially something trivial.” Granted, there’s value in expressing a complaint. What’s not effective is grumbling, especially about something trivial.

 

            Venting, on the other hand, is “giving free expression to (a strong emotion).” We all need to vent sometimes. But there’s a right way so that it doesn’t become griping. As I told that Master Sergeant at the end of our conversation, “If you need to vent, and I’m the person you need to vent to, just please come into my office, close the door in a normal way, and TELL ME that you need to vent. I’ll listen to you. And after you’re done, we’ll both calm down and see if we can find a solution to the problem.”

 

            This admonition has served me well for decades. You’ll have to trust me. Never gripe! If you want to complain about something, be specific, and ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, bring a solution, or ten, with you to the conversation. I’ve been in charge of many people and have been the point man for hearing out people’s complaints. When that happened, I always tried hard to listen empathically, but the value of the conversation was in finding a solution to the problem. Here’s the method: articulate the problem as accurately as you can. That means doing the research. Just because you don’t like it is not a good reason to complain. And, by the way, speak respectfully. Pitch your solutions, emphasizing the end result. “Boss, if we do this, this is what we’ll get from it.” Listen empathically for an honest reply. Almost every time I did this, the solution that the boss and I arrived at was a little different than either of our initial ideas. The boss has a different view. That’s okay. But together you can create a better alternative. It works, I tell ya, it works!

 

            No one, you included, wants to hear gripes. We want to hear solutions. Do the work. Be respectful. It will pay off. 

 

            When I left that unit, that same Master Sergeant came by on my last duty day, closed the door gently, and in a very sincere and respectful way told me, “Chief, we had many discussions the past few years, and you sometimes stepped on my toes, but you never messed up my shine.” That’s HEIRPOWER!

 

            Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                                            ¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

What Makes America GREAT!

What makes America great is its diversity.  If you’ll look around you (Go ahead. No one’s watching.) you’ll notice that what we call America is made up of people from all kinds of cultures and from different parts of the world. We’re all different yet we’re all the same. We share the same basic values that make us Americans. We’re invested in making our country and the world a better place for all of us to live. We believe in a democratic system of government where the people have a say in what and how we live. What makes America great is that although we have different and diverse needs and desires, even though we’re all different, we’ve been able to synergize all those differences to form one unified family that allows us to be ourselves and expects us to accept each other.

We used to talk about the American Melting Pot.  An honorable idea, but I’m not sure it’s attainable.  Why?  Because there is very little, if any, chance that we’ll all “melt”, that we’ll all assimilate, that we’ll all be the same.  And I’m not so sure we all want to be the same.  I think it was General George Patton who said, “If two of us are thinking the same thing, we don’t need one of us.”  There’s a marked difference between thinking the same thing and thinking with the same purpose in mind. Diversity means we can think differently while attaining the same goal.

 

The concept of the American Salad Bowl comes closer to describing the culture we live in.  The illustration of the salad bowl describes a dish that, as a whole, is its own entity, delicious and healthy.  What gives that dish its flavor and wholesomeness is all of the different ingredients that make it one.  Each ingredient adds its own contribution to the whole.  Any part of it that’s missing will affect the end result. 

Dr. Stephen Covey said that “unity is not sameness, it’s complimentariness.”  If we are to be united, we have to be willing to accept, appreciate, and celebrate each others’ differences. As my friend, Simon Sinek, says, "Together is Better!"  

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

Change Stinks. Progress Rocks!

 

You’ve heard it before…people don’t like change. That’s RIDICULOUS! How would you like to live your life exactly the same way every day, like the movie Groundhog Day? You’d never age. You’d have the same job forever. Same pay grade, no promotions, ever. You’d see the same people every day. Imagine going through that if you don’t like the people you live and work with! 

The only exception to this “dilemma” is if you have grandchildren. If you do, you know exactly what I mean. If you don’t, you will someday.

It’s not that people don’t like change. The truth is that people don’t like to BE changed. When you try to force something new on others there will be resistance. It’s natural. When they own it, it’s not change, it becomes progress. People will support what they create.

Change, in most cases, is arbitrary. Let’s change it, whatever “it” is, because….I want you to. That’s what most people don’t appreciate. Just because you’re the boss, you can’t change everything. Okay, maybe you can. But it won’t make the team better. In fact, it will create resentment among your team. And fast!

If you intend to be an effective leader, first, ask WHY before you make a change. Unless it affects the safety of your followers and teammates.  “Why should we (the Royal We) do that differently?” is the question you should ask. If the answer isn’t “Because it makes us/it better,” then, I suggest reconsidering the change. If it DOES make you/it better, that’s PROGRESS! People love progress! If you look up the word “progress" on dictionary.com you’ll find the definition to be “growth or development; continuous improvement.” People will buy into that! 

As I said before, people will support what they create. Ask your followers how you/they can make it better. If you’ve developed a climate of trust, they will be more than happy to give you their advice. Remember that their advice is based on their experience. If they’re inexperienced, you may be able to help them understand the bigger picture. If they’re experienced, remember where they’ve been…on the floor, in the trenches, where things really happen…they probably know a lot more than you do about what needs improving. Listen to them. Involve them in the decision on how to improve, on how to progress.

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

The Power of Ego!

In my book, HEIRPOWER! 2.0, I mention that: There’s a huge difference between a strong ego and a big ego. People who have a big ego go around telling others how great they are. People who have a strong ego don’t have to tell anyone anything, they just show how good they are and share their talents with the people they lead.

 

I’ve known a few “leaders” who obviously had a big ego. They flaunted their perceived power as often and as much as they could. The problem, which they didn’t notice so didn’t realize it was a problem, was that the only people who perceived them as leaders were themselves. They weren’t leaders. The only criterion for being a leader is that you have followers. At least one. Those people didn’t have followers. Their charges did only what they had to do. Given the opportunity, those followers would have let those “leaders” sink in their own perception. Interestingly, each of those people suffered from low self-esteem issues. They didn’t respect themselves, hence, neither did anyone else. And they certainly didn’t respect their followers. Their focus was on themselves, and it was obvious. That does not a leader make.

 

On the other hand, the real leaders, the PowerPact Leaders, with whom I served, who had a strong ego, were inspiring beyond their own realization. Their focus was on helping their followers empower themselves to be who they were capable of being and to apply their skills and knowledge toward the accomplishment of the mission. They were humble. They never told anyone how good they were, they just showed us how good WE could become. Their strength was not derived from themselves but from the compilation of the strengths of the entire team. It was an honor and a pleasure to work with them. Notice I said “with,” not “for.” The mission that that team was charged with accomplishing often required courage. That strong ego that those leaders exhibited was manifested in the courage that they exemplified and inspired in the rest of the team.

 

Effective Leaders don’t exhibit a big ego, they embody a strong ego. They’re confident in themselves and their followers, constantly inspiring their followers to do the same. And they encourage their followers by their example. It’s the only way to lead effectively. Be strong, not big!

 

Until next time,

 

Be GREAT!

 

You ARE!

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!