Vulnerability

 

Vulnerability. You’ve, no doubt, heard of that term. It’s a buzzword among speakers who talk about leadership. I looked up the definition of the word vulnerability, and no wonder people don’t understand it and attach different meanings to it! The dictionary defines vulnerability as “the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.”  Whoa! I don’t want to put myself in THAT situation! Attacked? Harmed? No way! (By the way, my official first name is José.) Luckily, there’s a second definition: “willingness to show emotion or to allow one’s weaknesses to be seen or known.” That’s better. I can almost handle that.

 

In my perspective, there are some acknowledgements required to practice vulnerability.  Vulnerability, for an Effective Leader, requires honesty. With oneself. You know who you are, deep inside. You know what you know and what you don’t. You know what you can do and what you can’t. That doesn’t mean you can’t get better. In fact, Effective Leaders  always strive to improve themselves. That leads to being effective. It’s okay to not know everything. That’s the first step. Acknowledging that. And once you acknowledge it, there’s room for growth. What don’t you know that you can learn? That’s a good question to start you on your way toward effectiveness. As for not being able to do somethings. The great philosopher, Dirty Harry, said, “A man’s gotta know his limitations.” As you get older, and believe me, I know a lot about that, you’ll get to a point that you can’t do what you used to do the way you used to do it. And that’s okay. You can do it differently. There’s always a more effective way.

 

It's okay to be wrong. I’ve known so many “leaders” who always knew everything. Even when they didn’t. I put quotes around the word “leaders” because those folks were not leaders. They may have been put in the position of authority and even expected to lead, but no one followed them. Accepting that you’re wrong will go a long way with everyone around you, especially your followers. The key is to learn and grow. Not to become the smartest person in the room, but to be able to affect the success of the group you’re in the room with. The real effectiveness will come with you sharing what you do know. As Maya Angelou said, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." The best way to do better as a leader is to pass on what you know.

 

    And really, most importantly, it’s okay to not be okay. This one is, often, the most difficult of these acknowledgements. We think that we must be strong because we’re the leader. Well, there’s some truth to that, but no one is invincible. We’re humans, and all humans have a bad day occasionally. And that’s okay. One of the most powerful virtues in our culture is integrity. One of the characteristics of integrity that we often neglect is the meaning of the word. The word “integrity” comes from the word integer. If you’ll go back to high school math, you’ll remember that an integer is a whole number. Integrity has to do with being whole. Wholly you! You cannot give what you do not have. If you’re not well, all of you, you’re not going to do great work. If you’re hurting emotionally, your work will suffer. If you hurt a part of your body, that will, surely, affect how you perform. Take care of yourself FIRST! And if that means seeking help in any area of your life, do so. Don’t be fearful or embarrassed by it. It’ll probably be more embarrassing when you fail or hurt yourself even worse. It’s okay to not be okay. But seek help.  

 

If you can’t honestly say that you’re well in each of these three areas, your effectiveness is going to suffer. Effectiveness is about being able to perform at your best continuously and consistently. Work on those three areas. Accept who you are and what you can do, accept that you can use improvement, and seek help to make you better. That’s vulnerability.

 

Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

Happy Birthday, United States Air Force!

It hasn’t been that long, or has it, since I packed up my office for the last time.  The last time as a member of the United States Air Force, that is.  No, I didn’t get fired again.  It was just time to sound retreat and turn things over to younger warriors.  As I put my treasures away, I found it amazing how much stuff a person can accumulate in only 50 years.  As I went about the process, I realized that what I was really packing up was a collection of memories.  Memories of people I had the pleasure of working and living with throughout the world. 

For some five decades, people asked me why I served.  The answer remains unchanged.  It was always THE PEOPLE!  Packing up my collection of memories reminded me of that.  There are a few things about which I’m absolutely sure.  One of them is that the Air Force is made up of the very best people in the world!  Now, my Army, Marine, Coast Guard, and Navy brothers and sisters would probably argue with me, as well they should.  The Space Force isn’t old enough to give me any guff. I’ve only been an Airman, so I can only speak from that paradigm, although, as I’ve said for many decades, always been about US protecting our country. In fact, the battle uniform of each of our services states that it’s US against THEM, the enemy. US Marines, US Air Force, US Navy, US Army, US Coast Guard, and US Space Force. 

In the time that it took me to fill those boxes, I relived my military life as I recalled who took  that picture, who gave me that memento or that coin, who I was serving with when I was presented that Chief bust.  I was brought up under the principle that if you take care of the people, they’ll take care of the mission.  That’s another thing about which I’m absolutely sure.  What’s happened, in truth, is that as I’ve taken care of people, they’ve taken care of me, and together, we’ve taken care of the mission, we’ve protected our country.

I joined the Air Force to avoid being drafted.  Not that I had anything against the Army. I say “Hooah!” pretty well, but green just wasn’t my color at the time.  For those too young to know what the draft was, it was a process by which those who had never won a lottery, a door prize, or a raffle were given the opportunity to win a free trip across the Pacific to a tropical paradise.  Hey, that’s what the letter from President Richard Nixon said!  I joined the Air Force because of the draft.  I stayed because of the people.

 

Throughout my military life, I was blessed with the opportunity to serve with truly great leaders, colleagues, and followers.  I was mentored by people who had a much more expansive experience than I.  I had friends who gave me a different perspective on how to lead.  And I led young troops who educated me much more than they realized.  I thank God every day for all of those blessings, for all of those people who helped make me who I am.

 

As our mighty Air Force turns 79, I’m so grateful for having been a part of the legacy its people have created and maintained for all those years. Technology has enabled the Force to grow expansively, and great leaders have empowered the Force to grow deeper. That combination has been, and will continue to be, unstoppable. I call it HEIRPOWER! 

 

The last piece of history I put in its box was a plaque made for me by some young Airmen for whom I have the highest respect.  That piece of art puts everything in the proper perspective.  It quotes an old warrior who loved what he did every day of his military life.  That quote will echo in that warrior’s heart for as long as he lives.  It simply reads,  “Isn’t this a GREAT day to be an American Warrior?!” Happy Birthday, US Air Force!

HEIRPOWER! ALL IN! ALL THE TIME!

Chief bob vásquez!

Please Correct Me….

 

My good friend and Chosen Sister, Cindy Brookins Yslas, posted a thought on Facebook recently that reminded me of something that all leaders should practice. The post was a quote that said, “Don’t you hate it when people know something about you but don’t tell you (perhaps to save your feelings)… trust me, I want/deserve to know!!!” Effective Leaders tell their Followers what they need to know to succeed at whatever it is they’re doing. Even if it hurts. It’ll hurt more if you don’t. Followers, too, should tell their leaders what they don’t know. Here’s an example….

    

Not that long ago, I was speaking at a Noncommissioned Officer Academy Graduation Dinner. If you haven’t been to one, get invited to one and attend. They’re always great events. Anyway, the dress for the dinner was formal, so I wore my mess dress, which is more or less a tux for military members. Man, did I look good in it…still do…! Since I was doing those types of events regularly then, my mess dress travel bag was always at the ready. It included everything I would need for an occasion such as that. That uniform required the wearing of a bow tie. I never learned how to tie one, so I had a clip-on. I’d had that clip-on for a while, evidently, because the clip was bent and about to break. It was a weekend evening, so I had no way to replace it. I had to make it work. Been there. Done that.

 

I rigged that clip-on bow tie so that it would last through the night. Or so I thought and expected. I arrived at the event during the social hour, as usual. My normal routine was to get to know and chat with my audience as much as possible so that I could tailor my talk to them. I started at the far end of the ballroom, shaking hands, hugging, and chatting with everyone that I could, while making my way to the entrance of the room where I would congregate with the host and other distinguished guests. I must have made a couple of hundred new friends as I approached the entrance. Just shy of where I intended to stop, a senior officer came up to me, shook my hand, introduced himself, and whispered to me, “Chief, do you know that you’re not wearing a tie?” WHAT? I’m the epitome of dress and appearance! I’m known as the Ruggedly Handsome Chief! How can I not be wearing a tie? I immediately touched my neck to verify that I, indeed, WAS wearing a tie. He was right! I couldn’t believe it! I thanked him and proceeded to look for my tie. I knew that I had been wearing it when I walked into the building. I looked back to where I’d started greeting folks. Halfway between there and where I was, my tie lay on the floor. I’d greeted a bunch of folks between there and here, but no one, not one person, had told me that my tie had come off. Needless to say, I was disappointed. I went back, picked up my tie, headed to the bathroom where I stuck it onto my shirt so that I wouldn’t lose it again, and eventually did my talk. The tie stayed on the rest of the evening, and I got a standing ovation for my talk. 

 

As Cindy’s post reminded me, and as I remind you, tell people what they need to know. Even if it hurts their feelings. It actually hurt my feelings that no one told me that I was out of uniform that evening. Effective Leaders hold each other accountable. Telling someone that they have parsley between their teeth may be embarrassing for you, but it’ll be MORE embarrassing for the other person AND you if you don’t. Please, correct me when I’m wrong! 

 

Until next time, be GREAT! You ARE! 

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!