AHA! It must be two!

Ever have an “AHA!” moment? When did it occur to you? I’ve often heard that humans are creatures of habit. I’m almost convinced that we choose our habits and develop them within our lives so that those behaviors do actually become habitual. I say almost because I’m trying to figure out how it is that MY AHA moments occur to me at two o’clock in the morning! I don’t choose that! It just happens! All the time! Habitually! It happened this morning! Again! 

I’m sleeping soundly when, all of a sudden, I have the answer that I’ve been searching for for weeks. What’s the real objective of my class I teach at the university? AHA! There it is! I look up at the ceiling for the time. (I have a clock that projects the time on the ceiling so that I don’t have to turn to my side to look at the actual clock. Sorry, I know. I’m lazy. But I’m over it!) What a GREAT thought! What time is it? It’s two o’clock!

I can remember it until morning. Okay, maybe I won’t. Man, I’m tired. I don’t want to get up. But I must. If I don’t capture that thought somehow, I will lose it! I WON’T remember. Or I’ll stay up the rest of the morning trying to ensure that I DO remember. And by the time I actually get up, I’ll have forgotten it. Ever notice how much work it takes to remember something and how it can instantly disappear from your memory. I read a book once that taught me something profound. A thought is not real until you’ve written it down. That’s powerful. I write down every thought I can. Okay, I say it into my iPhone, and it remembers what I thought. My iPhone really IS my brain! 

I used to encourage people to keep a pad of paper and pencil on their nightstand just for this occasion. I even tried it! Have you ever tried to read your writing from a two-in-the-morning note? I know I wrote down what I thought, but I have no idea what the note said. Being a high-tech kind of guy, I went to the next level. I bought one of those little handheld digital recorders. That was before I had my iPhone. When that two o’clock in the morning thought came, I was ready! Okay, now think about this. How loudly can I speak into that thing without waking my lovely-bride-of-forty-five-wonderful-and-fulfilling-years, Deb? I had to whisper into it! It sounded more like heavy breathing than words. Although I did share it with Deb hoping that it would turn her on. It didn’t!

When my AHA moment occurred to me this morning, I did what I should. I got up, went downstairs, and TYPED my thought onto my iPad. Hey, I TOLD you I’m a high-tech kind of guy! This morning, when I got to my computer it was sitting there, smiling at me. You know, thoughts have a sense of humor. Or, at least, mine do. My thought was staring at me saying “thanks for waking up and making me real.”

Why is two in the morning the time for this? I had a mentor who was a genius. Too bad it didn’t rub off, huh? His name was Toto. He was from Peru. I once told him I had a prayer that I would see El Morro, in San Juan Puerto Rico, and Machu Pichu, in Peru, before I die. He’d been to Machu Pichu several times. He told me how spiritual it was. “Bob,” he said. “When you go there be at the top of the mountain at two o’clock in the morning.” Yeah, right. I had to ask him why. “I can’t tell you,” was his response. I don’t know if I’m connected with the spiritual world at two o’clock in the morning, or maybe Toto is speaking to me from wherever he may now be (he died a year after we met), but those AHA moments hit me at 2 a.m.!

Okay, I don’t want to freak you out. Here’s the lesson. When an AHA moment occurs to you, WRITE IT DOWN! You will not remember it long! Make it real! Then share it! That’s HEIRPOWER!

 

Until next time, be GREAT! You ARE!

                  ¡HEIRPOWER!

                                                     

                             bob vásquez

Sometimes, helping isn't helping

I don’t like admitting it, and, actually, I try to avoid it, but sometimes, okay, too many times, I’m impatient. Yeah, I know. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true. I get frustrated especially when I ask someone to do something that I know how to do and even have experience doing, and do it very well. I know that I’m probably the only one who has this issue, so, please, bear with me and let me vent a little bit.

 

I asked one of my followers to accomplish a task that I expected every one of my followers to know how to do. I mean, they got the training. Or at least I believed that they had. They went to the school, okay. There’s an assumption of gaining a certain knowledge when someone goes to a particular school, right? Well, although my follower tried to do what I’d ask, she couldn’t do it. WHAT?! You’re trained! You should be able to do it! My first inclination was to do it myself. Okay, that was my SECOND inclination. Give me that! Let me do it for you! It’ll be quicker and it’ll be done correctly. I’ve done it for twenty years. I know what I’m doing. Stand back! Well, that may get the job done, but is it effective?

 

Effectiveness has to do with continuously getting what you want to get. It’s pretty simple, really. The key word there is continuously. In the situation I just described, what I was creating, if I did do the job for my follower, was expediency, maybe efficiency, but it, surely, wasn’t effectiveness. Effectiveness would require that I teach that follower how to do the job so that it can get done without me being there. I can’t, after all, be there all of the time. If I were, I wouldn’t need that follower, now, would I? Sometimes helping isn’t helping. Sometimes, we, as leaders, have to let our follower fail, at least to the degree that they can learn from the failure, or let them suffer through the process a little.

 

Dr Ken Blanchard created a model, the Situational Leadership II Model, that I’ve always subscribed to and commend to your consideration when you’re leading. You can Google it to learn more about it. Basically, though, Dr Blanchard proposes that, depending on the maturity of the follower, you use different methods to help them empower themselves to get to the next level and to create effectiveness.

 

Sometimes, helping your followers, but not teaching or training them to do it themselves is not helpful, and it’s not effective. Sometimes, according to the model, you have to be more directive, sometimes less, depending on where the followers are in their maturity for accomplishing the job.

 

I’m an Opa. It’s what my grandkids call me. There have been so many times that my heart has broken because I can’t help my grands do something that I know how to do. I convince myself that if I do it for them, they won’t learn how to do it themselves. But I could save them the trouble! Yeah, but that could lead to bigger trouble.

 

Help your followers when you SHOULD. Not just when you CAN. And know HOW to help them. An Effective Leader helps her followers empower themselves to be their best. Don’t do it for them. Help them do it better.  

 

Until next time,

 

Be GREAT!

 

You ARE!

 

        ¡HEIRPOWER!

 

                bob vásquez!

Best if used by

 I was hungry, so I asked Deb if she’d bought microwave popcorn the last time she went grocery shopping. She replied that she hadn’t because there was still a rather large supply in the cupboard. As I moved toward the cupboard, she warned me to “check the date.”  She was referring to the “best if used by” date. The date on the particular bag I picked up was July 2023. This being April 2023, that gave the popcorn a little more than 90 days for it to be “best by.

That got me thinking…do we humans have a “best if used by” date invisibly stamped to us on some part of our bodies? What if I only have 90 days to be my best? What would I have to do to achieve that?

My good friend, and mentor, Dr Dave Levy, makes me feel great every time I’m with him because, after sharing all of my goals with him, which I do every time we’re together, he always brightens up and proclaims that I don’t just say things, I make them happen! Well, I’m not as industrious as he makes me sound, but I do try to do all I can with the limited time I have.

I happened to be cleaning out an external hard drive for my computer this weekend when I came across something I hadn’t seen in a while. It was my obituary. Okay, that’s freaky so let me tell you the entire story.

I was sitting at my desk at the office one evening when another friend and mentor, Lieutenant Colonel A J Scott appeared at my door. As I stood up to greet him, he gave me the once-over, looking at me from head to toe. It seemed odd for him to do that, so I asked him what was up. “Chief,” he said. “I just got a call from a friend who told me he’d read in the local paper that Bob Vásquez had died. I immediately came down the hall to make sure you’re not dead.”

Evidently, someone with my name had died, not me (although I’ve been in front of some audiences when I was obviously dying). Anyway, I went across to the library to find the newspaper to see what my obituary looked like. Interestingly, the Bob Vásquez who had died was my age, had two daughters, and other similarities. I scanned that obit and still have it.

You probably know that the purpose of that “best if used by” date is, according to the USDA (I Googled it!) is “to ensure that quality products are being served.” I, for one, am glad the USDA is looking out for me. Really.

That leads me back to my original question, do humans have a date by which the quality of our service will expire? You know, we’re all on the same road. Every day we get closer to that “best if used by” date. Doesn’t it make sense that we do our best every day? Just in case!

I don’t procrastinate, I just plan everything for the last minute. But what if my “best if used by” date comes due sooner than I think, or want? As hard as it may seem some days, I’m making a commitment, right now, to give all I have every day, to be my best on a daily basis. Remember that saying, “You can’t take it with you?” We usually refer to money when we say that. Maybe we should refer to our best instead? 

I’m going to make myself a tee shirt that says, “Best if used by today!”

Until next time, 

Be GREAT!

 

You ARE!

 

        ¡HEIRPOWER!

 

                bob vásquez!

            

            

 

Never too much!

Last week, I sent an email to a colleague that included one word. At the end of the day, I received a reply to that email. My note read, “Thanks!” The reply read, “This was the kindest word I received all day!”

 
In many of my talks, I show a video that ends with two words, “Thank you!” I always remind the audience that we don’t use those two words often enough, that we CAN’T say thanks too much. I read a book once that said saying “thank you” too often was a bad management technique. I agree. Management is about controlling things and saying thank you to things is crazy so managers shouldn’t do that. Leading, on the other hand, is about empowering people. And there is INCREDIBLE power in saying thanks! People will give you much much more when you’re grateful!
 
Nieves, my first granddaughter, was five when we were leaving a restaurant one day. Being a character and leadership teacher, I’d taught Nieves the basics of what character is about and how to practice it. As we exited the building, she held the doors open for some folks who were entering. They walked right past her. You know how a five-year-old can be really loud when she’s not supposed to? She looks back at me and in her outside voice announces, “Opa, those people didn’t say thank you! They don’t have character!” The culprits turned around and immediately started thanking Nieves. TOO LATE! They’d already failed the test, in Nieves’ eyes. As we walked out to the car, Nieves asked me, in all sincerity, “Opa, why don’t people say thank you?” I’m seldom speechless, but I was. I didn’t know. Still don’t. I was brought up, and tried bringing Nieves up, saying thank you when someone does kind. 
 
My first thought every morning is, “Thank you!” I’m so grateful for another day, for my family and the people whom I serve, for this country I live in, for all that I have, and more. I thank the Creator first, then I go about my day. Even the Creator appreciates a word of thanks!
 
We can never thank people enough! For what they do or, more importantly, for who they are. I encourage you to do it as often as you can. Maybe what the cynics who think you CAN be too grateful are saying is that we should express our gratitude for specific behaviors. I suppose saying thanks in general can lose its power, but thanking people for specific behaviors won’t. In fact, it will encourage the recurrence of that behavior. And maybe empower the person to be grateful as well.
 
I don’t know what your day holds for you but there’s a high probability that someone will do something that deserves a “thanks.” Don’t hesitate. Thank them for that specific thing they did. It may make their day!
 
THANK YOU for reading my thoughts. And THANK YOU for being YOU!
 
Until next time, 
 
Be GREAT!
 
You ARE!
 
        ¡HEIRPOWER!
 

                bob vásquez!

Looking for questions

Pablo Picasso once said that “Computers are useless. They can only give answers.” I recently came to a profound realization. I could be wrong, but not completely, I’m sure. Here’s my thought. We cannot conceive a question that people, in particular, young people, can’t answer within seconds. And they can provide thousands upon thousands of answers within those seconds. Give them a minute and it will be millions. They have all the answers, literally, in the palms of their hands. They’re called iPhones or Droids or some other Star Wars-like name. They’re computers. They’re in their hands. And they give answers!
          

While I was growing up, we didn’t have the technology that we now take for granted. We used to go to the library to look for answers. There, they had what we called books! Young folks know what a book is but may not have ever opened one. The library eventually became a popular hangout when the internet came into existence because libraries were the first to have it for free. Libraries still have the internet but now there are plenty of other places where we can get connected for free, even in our cars. Nonetheless, we were looking for answers, and, as Picasso said, computers provided them, so we started to rely on them more and more.

Now, I’m not going to go so far as to agree with Picasso completely, but I do agree with what he was trying to say and that’s another profound thought I had the other day. If people already have answers, what are they now looking for? Questions! The right questions! As my friend, author Seth Godin, says, “Yes, asking questions is often more valued than answering them. (If they're the right questions.)”

I’m almost amazed at the Aha! looks I get when I’m speaking to an audience and ask the right questions. It’s that wow-I-hadn’t-thought-of-that look. My gut tells me that when you have all the answers, or you think you have all the answers, you stop looking for the questions.

The right questions, often, are the heart questions. Sometimes they’re the hard questions. They’re not the questions that will provide you more information but those that will help you think more deeply.  Thinking, itself, is becoming a lost art, like reading books. We have computers that do that for us! The heart questions are “Who am I?” “What’s important, really important?” “Why am I here, what’s my purpose?” There are plenty more, but you can, surely, see where I’m going with this.

Lately, one of my favorite pastimes has become coming up with questions. My favorite pastime is asking those questions and watching audiences ponder them. Interestingly, they’re often the same questions asked in different ways. My sense is that the answers are probably mostly the same as well.

We have plenty of computers. As I write I have four of them on at once. They’re all bombarding me with answers. Sometimes they’re answers to questions I haven’t yet asked. I challenge you to think of the heart questions you think you already may have answers to. If they’re the right answers, seek the right questions.   

 

Until next time, 

Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                     ¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

Is it time to lead?

Today’s one of those days that I’m totally bumfoozled! My body is telling me something different than my brain. My body is telling me how I feel. My brain is telling me how I should think. We just switched our clocks forward an hour. Or is it backward? See? I’m so confused! Who made that up? You mean we just told the sun what time to rise? Evidently. It’s amazing how much power we have! Or so it seems when we’re governed by the clock.

 

    The clock is a perspective that leaders use way too often in measuring success. How long have you been a leader? Does that matter? Probably not, but that’s a measure of a leader’s success, isn’t it? Time measures efficiency, not effectiveness. Just because you’ve been a “leader” for a long time doesn’t make you a good one, or one at all, for that matter.

 

    The term the Ancient Greeks used for measuring time by the clock was called Chronos. Chronos is quantitative, it’s easy to measure, as long as you have a clock or a sundial. It’s sequential. One event follows another. Leading isn’t that way, have you noticed? It’s confusing when you expect someone, a follower, to do things a certain way, and she doesn’t. And you’re bumfoozled by why she didn’t do it as you told her to. Maybe there was a better way? Maybe it wasn’t the right time?

 

    The other term the Greeks used for time is Kairos. Kairos means “the right, critical, or opportune moment.” What time do you start leading? When you get to the job or the office? Or when it’s the opportune moment? Do you lead only when you’re on the clock, on duty, or when someone needs your help or support?

 

    My favorite word in the English language is “serendipity.” Serendipity means “the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.” I’m constantly aware of serendipitous moments, especially when opportune moments to lead appear. 

 

     Leading effectively can’t be based on a Chronos perspective. It has to be based on a Kairos perspective. When will that opportune moment appear in front of you? You won’t know, but it will happen. Will you step up and lead? If you do, it will be beneficial to you and the person you lead, and it may make both of you happy.

 

      I hope there’s a lot more leading going on than we think. I hope you lead more often than you even know. I hope that you take that opportunity to support someone when THEY need it, when a Kairos moment serendipitously arises. Don’t worry about when. Do it now. Right now’s the moment. It’s time to lead!

 

        Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                     ¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

Who might know?

 Somewhere, every “leader” has been taught that he/she must “leave their mark” on the organization they lead. In the first place, the organization doesn’t care about you. Sorry. Someone had to tell you. You do NOT lead an organization. If you lead at all, you lead the people who do the work for the organization. 

 

If you’re going to “leave your mark,” it will be on the PEOPLE you lead. One effective way to leave a GOOD mark is to stop reinventing the wheel. Hence, the question, “Who might know?” 

 

I served the same organization for fifty years. I considered making it a career, but, naaawwww…. In all those years, seldom did the person in charge, especially a new “leader,” ask those of us who had been around a while whether we’d ever considered doing it or even had done it before. “It” being the “grand new” idea the new leader was considering implementing. It’s almost amazing how many grand new ideas we’d tried before. Some worked. Some didn’t. But who knows? Back to my question, “Who might know?” 

 

Effectiveness comes when the Leader does the research to find out who might have been around when it was tried before and the results of doing it that way. Were there special causes that led to that outcome? Is there a better way to do a similar thing? Could advances in technology and the smarter employees affect the outcome in a more positive way? Do you see how all of those other powerful questions were generated by the first one, “Who might know?” 

 

My friend, Simon Sinek, says that people just want to be valued and valuable. That question does both. When a Leader asks around about who might know more and better than he or she does, it implies that those who have been there and have a lot of experience, the corporate knowledge, are valued. Those people will become more and more valuable as they realize they’re valued and trusted then, subsequently, they’ll provide more input as to how to succeed. Instead of reinventing the wheel…again…ask, “Who might know?” 

 

Back in my day, leaders were admonished to look around when assuming charge of a new organization. See how things are going before interjecting how you’ll “fix” everything. The world has sped up so much now that leaders want to, maybe think they need to, change everything as quickly as possible. But are those changes effective? Will they make us better? Change is different. Progress is better. Who might know? A powerful question that might lead to greater effectiveness. 

 

Until next time, 

 

Be GREAT! 

 

You ARE!