Power!

 

Clench your fists. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Look at them. THAT is what many “leaders” think power is. Having control. Being able to tell people what to do. Being the “leader.” Let me ask you…how much can you give with clenched fists? Don’t you clench your fists when you’re about to FIGHT someone? Is that how a leader leads? By fighting? Doubtful.

 

Now, spread your arms wide, hands open, palms facing up. I know, it’s freaking out folks around you. Keep them wondering…! NOW, how much can you give? All you have, right? Isn’t that more powerful? As one of my mentors, Don Miguel Ruiz says, “You cannot give what you do not have.” And you certainly can’t give with closed fists! But with open arms and hands, you can give what’s most important for a leader to share…Don Miguel would tell you that it’s love!

 

I’ve suggested several times that the most important thing a leader does is care. That’s the truth! And caring is the manifestation of love. Ask Don Miguel!

 

I’ve read books and heard speakers talk about how to manage people. You already know that there’s a HUGE difference between managing and leading. Managers manage things and processes. Leaders empower people to lead themselves! Control is required to make a process work. Caring is required to help people grow! You can’t use management techniques to lead and expect them to follow. Ain’t gonna happen!

 

I served in the United States Air Force for 50 years. Although it’s a bit different in the civilian world, I’m convinced that the measure of a military leader’s ability to lead is based on whether or not her followers are willing to die for her. Maybe it’s NOT that different in the civilian world. Will your followers do ANYTHING they can to protect you? If so, it’s not because you fought with them. It’s because you cared for them.

 

Tony Robbins says that power is the capacity to act effectively. It’s the next level of what dictionary.com says. Who has the capacity to act effectively? Who has power? EVERYONE! If you claim, or aspire, to be a leader, you have to help others empower themselves so that, together, you can accomplish things beyond your separate dreams. As Stephen Covey taught me, 1+1=3 or more.

 

Open your arms! Welcome others and their diverse thoughts! Embrace them! Physically and spiritually! And celebrate their differences. Every one of us is different! But we all want the same things. As Simon Sinek says, we all want to be valued and valuable. Pick the way to do that…with clenched fists or open arms. Only one way will work. Your choice…! 

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                       ¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

 

We Don’t Understand the Struggle!

 

My Princess Number One, our first granddaughter, Nieves, and I were visiting my parents in New Mexico, as was our annual tradition. We stayed with Mom and Dad. They were Old School Types. In other words, they had no internet in the house. Nieves was about twelve at the time. Not having internet was driving her nuts! She couldn’t communicate with her friends back home. She had a phone, but no internet! How unAmerican! I was almost okay without it, but not quite. I decided to help calm Nieves down by taking her to breakfast at McDonald’s, where they DID have internet. As we walked into the restaurant, I was giving Nieves a hard time about her need for online connection. She shut me down quickly when she said, “Opa, you don’t understand the struggle.” I had no reply to her statement. She was right! I didn’t.

 

I’m not sure when it happens, but it does. We all evolve to a point where we think, usually say, “Been there. Done that.” But that’s not so. We’ve NEVER been here, nor done this. Life evolves constantly and, nowadays, faster than ever. 

            

We NEVER understand their struggle…our followers’ struggle. We barely understand OUR struggle. We don’t know what someone else has been through, or is going through, even if we’ve raised them. How many times have you wondered where “that” came from when your child surprises you with a “crazy” thought or behavior? Or one of your followers whom you had finally figured out. Yeah, RIGHT!

            

We don’t understand their struggle, whoever we’re trying to understand, or worse, control. The best we can do is practice empathy. Try to understand that they feel as they do. Don’t judge. You’re not worthy of that. Remember that their struggle is a lot different than yours, especially past struggles. The world changes constantly. To be an effective leader, you have to change, too. Seek to understand them before expecting them to understand you!

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

Discipline vs Punishment

 

There’s a difference between discipline and punishment! If you’re striving to be a leader, know the difference and strive for discipline.

 

We wonder why we have leadership problems in our culture, yet our perspective on developing followers is mostly based on forcing people to do what we want them to do. How’s that working for you?

 

When we strive to develop discipline, we tend to be more effective as leaders. Effectiveness, by the way, is simply getting what you want continuously. We want our followers to be great and do what they should do, even when we’re not around. That’s the sign of a good leader. The root of the word discipline is disciple. Now, I’m not proselytizing here, I’m just telling you the truth. A disciple is a follower. One who follows a leader to the degree of doing what the leader expects without being told. Now, discipleship doesn’t just happen. There has to be a reason followers follow a leader. The most powerful reason is that the leader cares. It may start with the leader saying he/she cares, but the power is in SHOWING you care! How do you show you care? The more you practice caring, the more your followers will follow you. Eventually, they’ll become your disciples. I, myself, am a disciple of several leaders, each of whom has, and many still do, shown me that they care. In MY language, which includes actions! 

 

One of the ways we “discipline” our followers is by making sure everyone pays for the indiscretions of a few, often, one. And, man, does that ever work! NOT! That’s PUNISHMENT! When that happens, and it does, the intent is that everyone will understand that we’re a team and that the actions of one affect everyone. We have to ensure that everyone does what’s right. You’d think we’d know better! Punishing everyone for the actions of one has never worked and never will. Sorry, but that’s the truth!

 

Now, I’m not advocating anarchy! What I AM advocating is that leaders, YOU, consider developing your followers into people who follow you for the right reasons, and do the right things even when you’re not around. That’s discipline. And that’s leading!

 

 

            Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

 

Managing People is Puzzling!

 

I recently read an article titled, “Managing people is puzzling.” Two key terms in that statement: “managing” and “puzzling,” especially as it pertains to “people,” which is the third key term. I’m not very good at math. First of all, you can’t manage people. You can try, but you’ll fail. Managers manage and control things. People are not things. What’s puzzling is why anyone would see a group of persons, or people, as things. And you can’t use management techniques trying to lead people, which is what we say leaders do. The puzzling reference is puzzling if you have a Puzzle Mentality. Managers practice a Puzzle Mentality. Leaders create a Mosaic Mentality. Keep reading. I’ll get you to that soon.

 

            By function, a Puzzle Mentality requires that we, persons, fit a preconceived mold, a picture, a perception, or a vision based on someone else’s perspective of who we should be or what we should do, even how we should do it. That’s restrictive. It’s bounded by external perspectives and influences. It doesn’t allow for creativity or innovation unless it’s creating that preconceived vision.

 

            If you’ve ever done a jigsaw puzzle, you’ve probably used the box, the picture of what the puzzle is supposed to look like, so that it will guide you. The completion of that puzzle is limited to that picture. It’s restrictive. With that mentality, followers can only go so far. They can’t go beyond the boundaries someone else has set. It creates a “where do I fit in mentality.” What if you’re so creative, which is what we’re looking for in our followers, that you DON’T fit in? “Then, I’m out! I’ll find somewhere else to be me.”

 

            With the Mosaic Mentality, which starts at the center and works its way out, there is no mold. There’s a purpose, and each part, each person, creates their own part of the picture by applying what they have to offer to the big picture. There’s no preconceived picture, it grows continuously. It creates a “how do I fit in” mentality that becomes art, and that’s creative and empowering. It’s boundless. Each person creates the picture by applying their best part of themselves. That’s what most of your followers want. They want to be them, not you.

 

            The fourth and final key term in the statement that I shared with you at the beginning of this thought is “is.” I know that you’ve heard someone say that “It is what it is.” Well, actually, NO, It’s NOT!! It is what we make it. Managing people IS puzzling. DON’T! It doesn’t work! That’s what makes it puzzling and exhausting. Discard your Puzzle Mentality and develop a Mosaic Mentality that invites continuous growth. Every person on your team will appreciate you and will give you more…because they’re giving you themselves.

 

Until next time, be GREAT! You ARE! 

HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

 

 

 

Winning!

 

Winning is great! But there’s something even better!

Several years ago, I was nominated for the title of Civilian Employee of the Year. Even though being nominated is a pretty cool thing, winning is better. But there’s something even better than that! 

One of the other nominees was one of my proteges. I was competing with someone I’d brought up and respected highly. He was one of my prize students, one of my Shining Stars. We talked before the winner was announced and offered each other congratulations and best wishes. We were both humbled and proud of each other’s accomplishments that year. 

Finally, the announcement was made. He won! You may not believe it, but I was truly elated! Yeah, I was still a competitive kind of guy, but not that much. In a way, we BOTH won. Immediately after accepting his award, he came over to me and thanked me and told me how the award was ours. “No,” I told him, ‘it’s YOURS and it’s well deserved. I was just there to support you in becoming your best self.”

There’s a scene in the movie Rudy where Rudy is carried off the field by his teammates at the end of the game. That happened to me. In a different way. And it was GREAT! In the middle of that scene, there’s a very short shot of Rudy’s mentor, the stadium janitor, Fortune, played by Charles S Dutton, where he’s beaming for Rudy’s accomplishments. That scene is the perfect depiction of how I felt seeing my protégé win.

It’s great to win. But what’s better is when someone you’ve helped empower themselves to be even better than you wins. There’s something magical about having helped someone reach their potential. That’s the ultimate purpose of being a leader. Not so much leading, but helping one of your followers get to where they succeed. I hope you feel that way someday, if you haven’t already. When it happens, you’ll understand. I call it HEIRPOWER!

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

Best If Used By!

 

I was hungry, so I asked Deb if she’d bought microwave popcorn the last time that she went grocery shopping. She replied that she hadn’t because there was still a rather large supply in the cupboard. As I moved toward the cupboard, she warned me to “check the date.”  She was referring to the “best if used by” date. The date on the particular bag I picked up was July 2023. This being April 2023, that gave the popcorn a little more than 90 days for it to be “best by.”

            

That got me thinking…do we humans have a “best if used by” date invisibly stamped to us on some part of our bodies? What if I only have 90 days to be my best? What would I have to do to achieve that?

            

My good friend, and mentor, Dr Dave Levy, makes me feel great every time I’m with him because, after sharing all of my goals with him, which I do every time we’re together, he always brightens up and proclaims that I don’t just say things, I make them happen! Well, I’m not as industrious as he makes me sound, but I do try to do all I can with the limited time that I have.

            

I happened to be cleaning out an external hard drive for my computer this weekend when I came across something that I hadn’t seen in a while. It was my obituary. Okay, that’s freaky, so let me tell you the entire story.

            

I was sitting at my desk at the office one evening when another friend and mentor, Lieutenant Colonel (now retired) A J Scott appeared at my door. As I stood up to greet him, he gave me the once-over, looking at me from head to toe. It seemed odd for him to do that, so I asked him what was up. “Chief,” he said. “I just got a call from a friend who told me he’d read in the local paper that Bob Vásquez had died. I immediately came down the hall to make sure you’re not dead.”

            

Evidently, someone with my name had died, not me (although I’ve been in front of some audiences when I was obviously dying). Anyway, I went across to the library to find the newspaper to see what my obituary looked like. Interestingly, the Bob Vásquez who had died was my age, had two daughters, and other similarities. I scanned that obit and I still have it.

            

You probably know that the purpose of that “best if used by” date is, according to the USDA (I Googled it!) is “to ensure that quality products are being served.” I, for one, am glad the USDA is looking out for me. Really.

            

That leads me back to my original question. Do humans have a date by which the quality of our service will expire? You know, we’re all on the same road. Every day we get closer to that “best if used by” date. Doesn’t it make sense that we do our best every day? Just in case!

 

I don’t procrastinate, I just plan everything for the last minute. But what if my “best if used by” date comes due sooner than I think, or want? As hard as it may seem some days, I’m making a commitment, right now, to give all I have every day, to be my best on a daily basis. Remember that saying, “You can’t take it with you?” We usually refer to money when we say that. Maybe we should refer to our best instead? 

            

I’m going to make myself a T-shirt that says, “Best if used by today!”

            

 

Until next time, be GREAT! You ARE! HEIRPOWER!

            

Chief bob vásquez!

 

Don’t try to change the world!

 

Changing the world is near impossible, but changing worlds is in your hands. 

 

I don’t want to scare you, but I do want to alert you to the fact that as a leader, others’ lives are in your hands. You have the power to affect how others live by the decisions you make daily. 

 

Now, back to my opening statement. The world is huge. And you’re not big enough to change it. Oh, you may change a tiny sliver of it, but that’s being optimistic. What you CAN change, or at least affect, is your followers’ worlds.

 

We all live in our very own world. Really. Think deeply for a moment. Each of us has our very own perspective of what the world looks like. And that world is different for each of us. We live within that perspective 24/7. Good or not so good. Maybe the reason that we love watching television and movies, maybe even reading, is because we can envision ourselves in another world for a moment. But at the end of the book, at the end of the movie, we have to return to reality. OUR world. Now, that can be good if we make good decisions. And it can be great if we make great decisions.

 

Your decisions as a leader will affect the lives, the worlds, of your followers. You may have a follower who lives in a negative world. A victim-centered world. Through inspiring, helping them empower themselves, you have the power to help that follower change his world, his life. That can be scary. Keep in mind that you can’t change them or their world. The best you can do is affect that follower’s environment so that he or she can change it themselves.

 

Let me correct myself. Maybe you CAN change the world by helping others change theirs. Maybe, by helping others realize their own potential, you WILL change the world. Maybe it IS possible. One of my favorite thoughts is “Think big. Start small.” If you aspire to change the world, begin by changing worlds. One at a time.

 

Until next time, be GREAT! You ARE! HEIRPOWER!

 

Chief bob vásquez!