Effective Leaders Don't Ping!

 

I’m going to assume that you’re familiar with the word “ping.” I suppose the next closest term to that is “freaking out.” Whichever term you prefer, Effective Leaders don’t do that.  A critical trait of an Effective Leader is the ability to remain calm, especially when all hell breaks loose. I’ll, again, assume that you know what THAT term means. If not, ask someone senior to you and count your blessings. An Effective Leader practices that meme that’s so familiar that starts with, “Stay calm,” and often describes an event that most of us don’t want to stay calm about. But how does one stay calm in the midst of assumed chaos? Here are some tips in the form of questions to ask yourself BEFORE you freak out. BEFORE is critical, by the way.

What do I know? We make decisions based on the information we have. Before making rash decisions or statements, assess what you know about the event. Ask trusted colleagues to tell you the truth. That may include your followers. They may know more than your fellow leaders. Leave emotion out of it. Just the facts, Ma’am. (Google that.)

What don’t I know? Once you’ve assessed what you know, what DON’T you know? Again, it will probably serve you to ask others. Expand your circle so that you don’t get the same information from the same people you asked the first question of. There’s often more than one perspective on the same event. Objectivity is key. You probably don’t want to ask someone who’s pinging what happened.

Who knows? Again, your fellow leaders or colleagues will probably have a different view from your followers or other bystanders. You want to make the best decision possible. You also want to know who did what. Don’t accept opinions. What was seen, not presumed.

What’s best? Having assessed as much information as you can gather, what’s best for the team, the organization, or others affected by your guidance or decision? Remember that there may be some who don’t agree with your decision, but they don’t have the information, nor gone through this process, like you just did. 

WRITE IT DOWN! Ok, you may not know how to write if you’re a young leader, no disrespect intended. Capture it on your iPhone so that you can go back and review all the data you have to make the best decision. You may have to go through the process a few times, depending on the severity of what happened.

Do stay calm. Be as objective as you can be. Do these things as quickly as you can, but no quicker. Back in the day, there was a deodorant commercial with the tag line, “Don’t ever let them see you sweat.” That’s good advice. Stay cool and calm. Be systematic about how you make decisions, and you’ll be able to control yourself from getting emotional and pinging. Don’t do it.

 

Until next time, be GREAT! You ARE! HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

When Do We Quit?

 

I’ve been watering and nurturing three plants in my backyard since spring began here in Colorado. I can’t tell you when that began because the seasons in Colorado are haphazard at best. We’ve already had winter and autumn this summer. Like they say, If You Know, You Know.

 

It's September now, and the seasons are in the midst of changing again. Soon, it’ll be cold, and I won’t even think about watering those plants. I’ll probably get rid of them in a few weeks. They’ll have outlived their value. Maybe….

 

A few years ago, I nurtured a plant all summer long. It began humbly, but through my efforts and its perseverance, it eventually blossomed into a beautiful plant. Until fall. Fall usually hits Colorado abruptly. That year, it did. All of a sudden, my plant stopped growing and soon died. Not willing to surrender completely, I kept the plant in my garage all winter. A few months passed. One morning, when it had gotten almost warm, I noticed that plant in my garage. It was beginning to revive itself. I don’t know that I’ve ever been happy about a plant recovering, but I was this time. I immediately began re-nurturing it. And guess what? It came back with full force. Within a week or two, it’d regained its nature, and by spring it was beautiful again. I, of course, took credit for its health.

 

You may be wondering what this has to do with leading. It’s almost natural to give up on things once we’ve decided that they’ve outlived their value. Even people. But when do we truly know that that’s the case? As leaders, do we give up on our followers after they’ve reached a plateau, at least in our view? Do we throw them away and get new ones next season? I think that happens more than we realize. Joey had so much potential. I provided him with every resource that I could. He grew. He excelled. And then, one day, he just stopped improving. I replaced him with Dorothy, who, like Joey at first, was an unstoppable dynamo. 

 

Maybe we shouldn’t quit nurturing our followers. Maybe they, like all of Nature, reach a point where they need to revive themselves. Maybe we should accept that and keep nurturing them, not as hard, but hard enough to keep them alive through the revival period, so that they can come back in full force. 

 

When do we quit on our followers? I say, NEVER! You never know when that person, whom you hired because of their potential, has reached that potential. Keep nurturing them. They may be about to blossom. Don’t give up on them! Their best is yet to come!

 

Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

HEIRPOWER!

 

Chief bob vásquez!

The Need to Succeed

 

I hope you’ll make time to read a book by Viktor Frankl titled, Man’s Search for Meaning. It will open your eyes to many things you hadn’t thought about before.

In the introduction, Frankl writes that “success must not be pursued, it must ensue.” The word, ensue, if you’re not familiar with it, means that it is a result of something. When we pursue, we set our sights on that thing and if we’re “truly focused” that’s what we’re engulfed in doing. When something ensues, it’s almost a serendipitous conclusion that’s based on behaviors and actions that affect others more deeply than the conclusion itself.

I’m going to go out on a limb and state that all of us want to succeed. The important questions are at what and how? I recently saw a poster that read “Great leaders don’t set out to be a leader…they set out to make a difference. It’s never about the role - always about the goal.” I’m not sure who said it, but I think that’s what Frankl meant as well. The goal, or success, being making a difference.

Leading requires passion. Effective Leaders are passionate about helping others empower themselves to become who THEY can be, not what the “leader” wants them to be. Another great quote I recently came across says, “The first thing you should know about me is that I am not you. A lot more will make sense after that.” Again, an unknown author.

If your goal or your purpose, your measure of success, is how many people you’ve turned into you, or a semblance of you, that’s not success. Success in leading is when a person becomes who they were meant to be and you, somehow, helped them become so.  

My life’s purpose is to help others achieve theirs. Not mine. I know that my purpose may not be everyone’s. It took me decades to figure that out. I encourage you to consider that even if you don’t agree with someone else’s purpose or mission in life, it’s okay. As My Brother, Dave Campanale, taught me, get over it!

Whether you’re leading at work or at home, figure out what your followers dream of becoming, respect them for it, and help them out as best you can. The world needs all of our successes, not just the ones we consider right. As Pope Francis said, “Who am I to judge?”

Real success is making a difference. That difference is in helping others be themselves.

An Alternative to Feedback!

I’ve always admonished my followers to present an alternative, or ten, whenever they present a complaint. I’m not complaining. Okay, maybe, but not to you or anyone in particular, mostly to, or about, our culture. So, here it goes, but I have a solution….

     Feedback sucks! Yeah, I said it! And you’ve thought it. Even the word itself is demeaning. Think about it. Who do we feed? Those who can’t feed themselves. I can feed myself. I’m pretty sure you can, too. Don’t feed me. Especially, stupid thoughts or ideas that aren’t founded in truth. You know what I mean. And BACK! As in feed…back. I don’t want to go backward. I want to keep moving forward. Don’t you? Now, I’ll admit that looking at how you did things before and assessing how you can improve them now or in the future are valuable, but don’t dwell on the past. Learn from it, but keep striving forward. And I don’t know ANYONE who provides feedback appropriately. Most people, especially those who consider themselves leaders but aren’t, are afraid to be honest with their followers. That’s why they wait so long to tell you what you did wrong and how you can make it right. You know I’m telling you the truth. Alous Huxley said that “we shall know the truth, and it shall make us mad.”

 

    So, what’s my solution? I call it P.I.A. It stands for Personal (Professional) Improvement Advice. Before I break it down, let me give you an overall perspective. Isn’t the intent of what we call feedback really us giving or receiving Personal or Professional Improvement Advice? 

 

    I’m going to almost disagree with a teaching from one of my mentors, Don Miguel Ruiz. Don Miguel is the author of The Four Agreements, which, by the way, is a GREAT book. You should read it. His second agreement is Don’t Take Anything Personally. He’s referring to how we accept advice and feedback (ugly word). Not taking things personally is incredibly difficult for me, and maybe for some of you. Everything we do is personal. For years, one of the most popular buzzwords in our culture has been “ownership.” That’s personal. I almost appreciate the word “ownership.” I do appreciate the meaning. The gist of the meaning, I believe, is that we take responsibility and accountability for what we do and how we do it. Owning who we are by what we do produces our identity. We all have one. Is it what we want it to be? If we take ownership of it, we can create the right identity. Effective Leaders are consistently striving to improve themselves and their followers, which is the second part of PIA. 

 

    Isn’t the intent of feedback to help someone improve? It should be. It isn’t always. I’ve seen too many instances of a person giving someone feedback just to make the receiver feel bad, or to demean them, thinking that it will make the giver superior. It never does that. There’s huge value in helping someone improve. But that takes some mastery of what it is that should be improved. And it also takes some assessment of the reason the person isn’t better to begin with. Most of all, it takes empathy to understand the circumstances of the behavior or action needing improvement. It takes work. Do the work, and then you may provide advice. But you have to share it appropriately.  

 

    Key to providing or receiving advice so that it helps us improve is trust. Have you ever had someone you don’t trust give you advice? How effective was that? Probably not very. One of the characteristics of trust is purpose. As I just noted, if your purpose for sharing advice is to make you look better, it won’t work. If it’s to help that follower better themselves, there’s a better chance it will work. Since you probably haven’t attended my Building Trust seminar, let me tell you that people know pretty quickly whether or not they can trust you. It may take time to build a truly trusting relationship, but the first impression is often accurate. When providing advice to someone, keep in mind that your experience is not their experience. How many times have you heard someone say, or maybe you’ve even said it, “Been there. Done that.” The truth is that you’ve NEVER been there nor done that exactly as they have. NEVER! The world is constantly changing. What you both experienced is not the same. Practice empathy, then share advice if they want it.

 

    I’m still fine-tuning my PIA concept. It’s always personal, even when it’s professional. We all seek to improve our lives in some way. Sincere advice intended to help someone empower themselves to develop their identity can be powerful. I’m convinced that the concept of Personal (Professional) Improvement Advice is a lot more effective than the F word.

    Until next time, 

                    Be GREAT! You ARE!

                                ¡HEIRPOWER!

                                        bob vásquez!

The Person in the Mirror....

It really is all about you! How do you see yourself? 

I recently read a quote about seeing yourself in the mirror. The idea, I guess, is that the mirror will show you who you really are. WAIT! The image in the mirror that I look into is backward! 

Have you ever read something or watched something on the news that really ticks you off? Are you unlike me, and can shrug it off quickly, or does it affect you, maybe even influence you for a while? I, too often, let things bother me for longer than I should, and I probably, okay, for sure I do, take it out on those I live with. So, TURN IT OFF! Don’t read crap! Don’t listen to the news! Get off of social media! There are a lot of good books and websites you can read that will lift you up to become your best self. I’m trying to practice what I preach by listening to some great sounds produced by truly creative people, usually called musicians. I’m trying to create positive energy by listening to and reading positive stuff as opposed to all the negative stuff that I’m bombarded with daily. I know that garbage in, garbage out! Or worse, garbage in, garbage stays! What you see daily is what you’ll eventually become.

Seek the good in the world. There’s a lot of it. I promise! Smell the roses! It’s empowering. Hang out with great people and, in turn, help others become greater than you are! 

Back to that mirror. I’m convinced that mine magnifies the truth. I’m really much thinner than it reflects. No, really! The mirror doesn’t really show you who you are; your actions do. And those actions are the product of your mind and heart working together to produce the real you. How do you see yourself? If you see yourself as a dirtbag, you will become one because you will manifest those traits in your behavior. If you see yourself as a Shining Star with the potential to accomplish whatever you undertake, you will do so, or come a lot closer than the former. Here’s the truth…the Creator set you on this earth to accomplish the things only you can achieve. You can choose to not be your best, I suppose, but what a waste! 

This is the day that you can accomplish more than you ever thought. But you have to envision yourself doing it. Don’t look in the mirror, look into your heart. What one thing can you do today that will fulfill your life’s purpose? DO IT!    

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

            ¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

 

 

If At First You Don’t Succeed….

 

Do you remember the old saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."? The meaning of that phrase was “Don’t quit. Keep trying.” Here’s the deal, though. We usually perceive that phrase to mean keep doing what you’re doing until it works. Well, sometimes it doesn’t. Stephen Covery taught me that “If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.” If that’s working out for you, GREAT! Keep doing it, but if it’s not, don’t keep trying again. Don’t force it.

 

I was honored to serve as the Senior Enlisted Advisor to the Commander of the 92^nd Air Refueling Wing in Spokane Washington, under the leadership of Brigadier General Gary Voellger. What a great leader! The wing was preparing for a major inspection. We did a lot of the right things, but there was this one process that we just couldn’t make work. As we often did in those days (probably hasn’t changed), when a process didn’t work, we did it faster and harder. Force it until it works. Get a bigger hammer! During a senior staff meeting, General Voellger asked about that process. All of the senior officers at the table related to the general why it wasn’t working, and that we’d tried and tried. He asked a simple question that changed everything: “Have you tried something else?” It’s like the heavens opened up. No, we hadn’t. We were going to work harder and faster instead, by God. That was the way.

 

Dr Covey taught that if at first you don’t succeed, find out why, develop a better process, then try again. 

 

Maybe things have changed in the past 40 years, and I’m not telling you anything new. But maybe this simple consideration will change everything. If it does, you’re welcome!

 

Be GREAT! You ARE! HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

 

 

The Most Important Thing in the World!

In my Power of Values workshops, I ask participants if they have values. They always answer yes. I ask them to tell me what they are. Crickets…. Most people really don’t know what their values are. They don’t even know what the term “value” means. It means “what’s important.” I always get surprised looks when I share with them that my highest value is ME! OMG! That’s sacrilege! How selfish! GET OVER IT! We’ve been brainwashed into thinking that serving others is the most important thing we can do. NO, it’s NOT! Taking care of ourselves is the most important thing we can do. We cannot give what we do not have. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we’re no good to anyone!

 

I had a friend. I won’t tell you his name because Dave may not appreciate it. He was Deb and my bodyguard at our basketball games. He protected us from terrorists. Me, mostly from officials when I yelled at them. One season, Deb and I missed Dave after not seeing him at several consecutive games. We asked his sub if he was okay. She told us that he’d had a heart attack, but that he was recovering well. OH, CRAP! We hadn’t heard but were concerned for him. A few games later, he was back! Deb and I were grateful to see our friend again. He was smiling! That was good! After big glad-to-see-you’re-okay hugs, we got to talking about what had happened to him. He acknowledged that he’d had a heart attack. “I’m doing well now, though,” he told us. “I’m now on a diet and exercising regularly.” NOW? I didn’t say what I was thinking since it didn’t seem appropriate, but I was thinking, “Maybe you should have done that BEFORE you had a heart attack?!”

 

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, you know. But we can attempt to practice FOREsight and maybe Insight, so-to-speak.

 

In staying with my admonition to take care of ourselves FIRST, the foundational area of our humanity is the physical. If we don’t take care of our bodies, nothing else matters. There’s a point in our lives where that becomes critical. Actually, it’s ALWAYS critical. We just don’t realize it or often neglect it. Now, let me tell you, I don’t always practice what I preach. But I try. 

 

I’m writing this before you wake up. Here, shortly, I’ll head downstairs to my home gym to work out. I work out six times a week for 80 minutes each time. My regular exercise program isn’t geared toward losing weight, although I wish I could, but more toward maintaining my fitness. I’m so grateful to my friend Dave because he’s often my inspiration to work out. I don’t want to have a heart attack before I start taking care of myself.

 

I’m no expert, but I’ve read plenty on physical fitness that encourages us to work out at least three times a week, twenty to thirty minutes per session. Here are a couple of suggestions if you have trouble getting going: Listening to music helps me INCREDIBLY! Sometimes, I get into the music and don’t even realize that I’m huffing and puffing. It’s more like dancing on that elliptical. I watch videos while I pedal away on that bike-that-goes-nowhere-fast. Again, I get into a zone that makes time go by quicker. Find a Workout Buddy if that helps. There’s an app for that. 

 

My overall point here, again, is that we have to take care of ourselves FIRST, and the first way is through physical fitness. That also includes diet, which I’m terrible at, as well as rest and sleep, which are different. Rest, for me, is solitude and meditation. I do it as often as my Apple Watch tells me to. I told you that there’s an app for that. Although many of my friends don’t believe I sleep, I do. Six hours. That works for me. And when I sleep, I sleep well. Deb would attest to that.

 

Do your best to stay physically fit. It’s the most important thing in the world! In your world. Don’t wait. Start now! I’m heading down to my gym. Gotta take care of myself so that I can take care of others, including you!

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!