HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I walk into my home and see my lovely bride, Deb, smiling. “Hey, Baby,” she says. “Hey, Baby,” I reply, “How are you?” We go on, asking the usual questions about each other’s day, how it went, what we did, etc. Then we get to a critical part of the conversation.

    “You know,” Deb says, “I was talking with Lori today.” Lori was married to one of my colleagues. “Oh?” I asked, “what about?” “Well, we were just chatting when she mentioned something about you guys being gone for Thanksgiving.”

 

    I was on active duty when this occurred. I was assigned to the United States Air Forces in Europe Band at the time, stationed in Germany. One of the coolest things we did in that band, and I take at least partial credit for creating the concept, was that we deployed a big show we called Seasons’ Greetings to locations where our troops were. We had great success with those shows because we brought in artists from the US and did a big production for our troops and their families, similar to a USO show. I’d had this great idea of playing for the troops (no families there) stationed in Bosnia for Thanksgiving Day! I’m sure you’re saying, “What a GREAT idea!” Everyone I’d talked with said the same thing, “What a GREAT idea!” With one exception….

 

     “Lori told you we’d be gone for Thanksgiving?” I asked Deb, trying to sound as if…okay, the OC Factor kicked in. “Oh, Crap!” was all I could think of. In my zeal to get the show together and make it a great event for the troops, I’d forgotten, no kidding, I’d just forgotten, to tell the most important person in my life what I was up to and that it would affect her and the girls since I wouldn’t be there for Thanksgiving dinner.

 

    Here’s the point. Remember that old saying, “information is power?” That’s stupid! Information is just information. It won’t get up and do anything powerful! It’ll just sit there, sometimes in your brain, and do absolutely nothing! Imagine being the smartest person in the world and no one knowing it? What good would that be? SHARED information, APPLIED information is power. 

 

    Sometimes people who call themselves leaders think that keeping information from followers is power. That’s REALLY stupid! When we empower others with the information we have, it makes us ALL more powerful and it builds trust. 

 

    If you’re looking to be effective, whether it’s at work or at home, ask a critical question often, “Who needs to know?” Don’t you make decisions based on the information you have at hand? Well, imagine having all the information you need! Where would THAT come from? If you have people keeping you informed, then you’re liable to make better decisions. And the law of reciprocity says that when you inform others, they, in turn, inform you. You get what you give.

            

    If you’re wondering what ever happened that Thanksgiving, we did do the tour. In fact, there’s another story I’ll consider sharing with you about a very cool thing that happened on that tour. But not here. Deb and the girls understood my purpose and they supported me being gone that Thanksgiving. And I’m almost done paying for that BMW I had to buy Deb to make up for it. It’s a very nice car, I must say. SHARED information, APPLIED information is power. Have a very Happy Thanksgiving!

            

    Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                        ¡HEIRPOWER!

 

                                                            bob vásquez!

 

Help helps

Years ago, I added Yoga to my daily startup routine. I enjoy it because it helps me get in the right frame of mind to start my day. It’s a form of meditation as well as stretching. I prepare my mind and my body for the day. Anyway, not too long ago, I decided to add a couple of minutes of meditation, which I’m not very good at, to begin each session. I do this via an audio recording of the Yoga Master Rodney Yee.  

    It's almost interesting that I found that although those additional two minutes of pure meditation, which is just a clip from the rest of the audio recording, are meant to help me relax and just be, before I do, it’s very difficult for me…until Sensei Lee starts talking and tells me to do what I was supposed to be doing without his guidance. Once he tells me to relax I do so much more effectively. Help helps.

 

    I grew up in a culture where being “manly,” even “macho” (a term which was bastardized by The Gringo), was how I was supposed to behave. Serving in the military didn’t help that. Especially as a senior leader. I learned to “power through” whatever ailed me. I was a leader, by God, and leaders don’t let their followers see them sweat. (I even said that to some of my proteges.)

 

    There’s nothing wrong, and a lot RIGHT, with seeking help. Most of us aren’t so good that a little help might not help us empower ourselves to be even better. Sometimes we call that help accountability partners, sometimes we call them coaches, we even call them physicians and mental health providers. My best help, though, is my bride. She guides me a LOT! Except when we have to decide where to have lunch….

 

    I coach and mentor many folks. None of those relationships are formal. I just do it for them as needed and wanted. And, interestingly, they coach and mentor me in return. 

 

    Humans are relational beings. We need help to be our best selves. Unfortunately, there’s a stigma attached to seeking it. I’ll go out on a limb and say that it’s probably more difficult for men to seek help than women. Women are a lot smarter than men. That’s the truth!

    If you aspire to be a leader, especially an Effective Leader, you’re going to need help. None of us does it alone. Speaker and author, Rene Brown, talks a lot about vulnerability and its importance to our health. Effective Leaders are vulnerable. And their followers appreciate them for it.

 

    I’m going to continue to strive to reach enlightenment for a couple of minutes without Master Lee every morning. I’m not sure I’ll reach it. But I do know that I’ll come closer once I hear his voice. Help helps! Seek it when you need it. Unapologetically! We all need it. It will help you be you. And we need you to help us be us!

      Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                     ¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

Is it time to lead?

Today’s one of those days that I’m totally bumfoozled! My body is telling me something different than my brain. My body is telling me how I feel. My brain is telling me how I should think. We just switched our clocks forward an hour. Or is it backward? See? I’m so confused! Who made that up? You mean we just told the sun what time to rise? Evidently. It’s amazing how much power we have! Or so it seems when we’re governed by the clock.

 

    The clock is a perspective that leaders use way too often in measuring success. How long have you been a leader? Does that matter? Probably not, but that’s a measure of a leader’s success, isn’t it? Time measures efficiency, not effectiveness. Just because you’ve been a “leader” for a long time doesn’t make you a good one, or one at all, for that matter.

 

    The term the Ancient Greeks used for measuring time by the clock was called Chronos. Chronos is quantitative, it’s easy to measure, as long as you have a clock or a sundial. It’s sequential. One event follows another. Leading isn’t that way, have you noticed? It’s confusing when you expect someone, a follower, to do things a certain way, and she doesn’t. And you’re bumfoozled by why she didn’t do it as you told her to. Maybe there was a better way? Maybe it wasn’t the right time?

 

    The other term the Greeks used for time is Kairos. Kairos means “the right, critical, or opportune moment.” What time do you start leading? When you get to the job or the office? Or when it’s the opportune moment? Do you lead only when you’re on the clock, on duty, or when someone needs your help or support?

 

    My favorite word in the English language is “serendipity.” Serendipity means “the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.” I’m constantly aware of serendipitous moments, especially when opportune moments to lead appear. 

 

     Leading effectively can’t be based on a Chronos perspective. It has to be based on a Kairos perspective. When will that opportune moment appear in front of you? You won’t know, but it will happen. Will you step up and lead? If you do, it will be beneficial to you and the person you lead, and it may make both of you happy.

 

      I hope there’s a lot more leading going on than we think. I hope you lead more often than you even know. I hope that you take that opportunity to support someone when THEY need it, when a Kairos moment serendipitously arises. Don’t worry about when. Do it now. Right now’s the moment. It’s time to lead!

 

        Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                     ¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

An Attitude of Gratitude

The best attitude an Effective Leader expresses is an attitude of gratitude. It will permeate all of your actions and your relationships on a daily basis.

            I create my attitude of gratitude daily. As I awaken every morning, the first thing I do is give thanks to the Creator for all of my blessings. I give thanks for…

 

            This country I’m blessed to live in. Yeah, it’s not perfect, but I’ve lived in other countries and visited many, as well. None of them compares to the United States of America. NONE! As John C Maxwell says, “There’s no place like this place anywhere near this place, so this must be the place.” We’ve still got plenty of work to do to make it what we, as a nation, want it to be like, but we’re better off than any other country in the world. There are many people willing to die to come here. No other country can boast that. I’m grateful for my country!

 

            The people I’m blessed to live and work with. I’m honored to have been able to serve with the best people in the world on a daily basis for the past fifty years. Chiefs don’t cry, but sometimes our eyeballs sweat. Mine sweat when I hear and read about the great accomplishments My People achieve. They also sweat when we lose one of our own. I can’t help but swell with pride when I think of my nuclear and extended families as everyone grows into who the Creator sent them here to be. I’m grateful for my family!

 

            The opportunity to produce HEIRPOWER!, which includes you! I’m so blessed that you’re willing to make time to read my thoughts. My purpose of producing HEIRPOWER! grows exponentially as you share your thoughts and yourself with others. I’m grateful for you!

 

            My health and my faith. One day you’ll understand. As you evolve, you’ll begin to hear noises and feel aches that your body emits without your consent. At first, you’ll wonder where they’re coming from and, eventually, you’ll accept them as yours. Despite that, you’ll learn to be grateful for having awakened.  The key is not losing your awareness. Especially of the blessings the Creator bestows upon you. I’m grateful for me!

 

            These are what I’m grateful for on a daily basis. I don’t deserve all I’m blessed with, but I count it all as GRACE. I commend you to consider your blessings and include them in your attitude development. One of my most favoritest authors, Jim Cathcart, asks, “How would the person you want to be do what you’re about to do?” The answer to that question begins with your attitude. Today, before you go out to take on the world, take a few minutes to develop the right attitude…an Attitude of Gratitude!

Vulnerability

Vulnerability. You’ve, no doubt, heard of that term. It’s a buzz word among speakers who talk about leadership. I shared these thoughts on my The OTHER F Word blog and podcast suggesting that it an important characteristic of Effective Followers. As I listened and read those, I realized that it’s also an important characteristic of Effective Leaders. Here are those thoughts but from the Leader perspective.

    I looked up the definition of the word, vulnerability, and no wonder, people don’t understand it and attach different meanings to it! The dictionary defines vulnerability as “the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.”  Whoa! I don’t want to put myself in THAT situation! Attacked? Harmed? No, way! (By the way, my official first name is José.) Luckily, there’s a second definition: “willingness to show emotion or to allow one’s weaknesses to be seen or known.” That’s better. I can almost handle that.

 

    In my perspective, there are some acknowledgements required to practice vulnerability.  Vulnerability, for an Effective Leader, requires honesty. With oneself. You know who you are, deep inside. You know what you know and what you don’t. You know what you can do and what you can’t. That doesn’t mean you can’t get better. In fact, Effective Leaders  always strive to improve themselves. That leads to being effective. It’s okay to not know everything. That’s the first step. Acknowledging that. And once you acknowledge it, there’s room for growth. What don’t you know that you can learn? That’s a good question to start you on your way toward effectiveness. As for not being able to do somethings. The great philosopher, Dirty Harry, said, “A man’s gotta know his limitations.” As you get older, and, believe me, I know a lot about that, you’ll get to a point that you can’t do what you used to do the way you used to do it. And that’s okay. You can do it differently. There’s always a more effective way.

 

    It's okay to be wrong. I’ve known so many “leaders” who always knew everything. Even when they didn’t. I put quotes around the word “leaders” because those folks were not leaders. They may have been put in the position of authority and even expected to lead, but no one followed them. Accepting that you’re wrong will go a long way with everyone around you, especially your followers. The key is to learn and grow. Not to become the smartest person in the room, but to be able to affect the success of the group you’re in the room with. The real effectiveness will come with you sharing what you do know. As Maya Angelou said, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." The best way to do better as a leader, is to pass on what you know.

 

    And really, most importantly, it’s okay to not be okay. This one is, often, the most difficult of these acknowledgements. We think that we must be strong because we’re the leader. Well, there’s some truth to that, but no one is invincible. We’re humans and all humans have a bad day occasionally. And that’s okay. One of the most powerful virtues in our culture is integrity. One of the characteristics of integrity that we often neglect is the meaning of the word. The word, integrity, comes from the word integer. If you’ll go back to high school math, you’ll remember that an integer is a whole number. Integrity has to do with being whole. Wholly you! You cannot give what you do not have. If you’re not well, all of you, you’re not going to do great work. If you’re hurting emotionally, your work will suffer. If you hurt a part of your body, that will, surely, affect how you perform. Take care of yourself FIRST! And if that means seeking help in any area of your life, do so. Don’t be fearful or embarrassed by it. It’ll probably be more embarrassing when you fail or hurt yourself even worse. It’s okay to not be okay. But seek help.  

 

    If you can’t honestly say that you’re well in each of these three areas, your effectiveness is going to suffer. Effectiveness is about being able to perform at your best continuously and consistently. Work on those three areas. Accept who you are and what you can do, and that you can use improvement, and seek help to make you better. That’s vulnerability.

Amateurs vs Professionals

Dr Stephen Covey shared a profound truth with me that I share with people in the service business because it’s incredibly powerful, especially when executed properly. Here's the thought…. “Amateurs sell products. Professionals sell solutions.” Read that again. Amateurs sell products. Professionals sell solutions.

        I retired from the United States Air Force twenty years ago as of 30 October. I remember going over to the Personnel Office as I was trying to get my retirement paperwork completed. I needed one last document to finish the process. I found the office and a young person behind the counter. I explained what I was intending to do and that I needed said document. Her eyes shone as she encouraged me to go online and download a form XXX. Piece of cake! NOT! I did download the form back at my office, but I didn’t understand many of the questions on it, nor what to do with it. I returned to the same office and found the same young person. She gave me more information. I went back to my office. Completed the form. Returned to her. After several trips back and forth, I completed everything as required and here I am! God bless her, she could have used some guidance, but didn’t, obviously, have the tools to be a professional. She tried her best, though.

 

    What a professional would have done is understood my intent, that is, completing all of my retirement paperwork so that I could go on my new adventure, then guided me toward that end. “Chief, here’s what you need. Let me download that form for you and help you fill it out. We’ll do it right here and right now. Do you have all of the other documents you need? If not, we’ll fill them out now, too.” See the difference? Now, you may say that the young person had other things to do than to take care of an old Chief who was, evidently, worn out. But the time and effort we both invested in the product, could have been better invested in the solution.

 

    What does that person you’re intending to serve need to reach the final solution? Does the person have all the resources needed to accomplish that? If not, do you? If not, can you find someone who does?

 

       I’m convinced that we all want to be known as professionals by those we serve. It’s not that difficult to be so. But it starts with knowing where you need to go and making the time to do it right. Every person we serve deserves that.

 

       Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                   ¡HEIRPOWER!

                             

                                    bob vásquez!

The Need to Succeed

I hope you’ll make time to read a book by Viktor Frankl titled, Man’s Search for Meaning. It will open your eyes to many things you hadn’t thought about before.

In the introduction, Frankl writes that “success must not be pursued, it must ensue.” The word, ensue, if you’re not familiar with it, means that it is a result of something. When we pursue, we set our sights on that thing and if we’re “truly focused” that’s what we’re engulfed in doing. When something ensues, it’s almost a serendipitous conclusion that’s based on behaviors and actions that affect others more deeply than the conclusion itself.

I’m going to go out on a limb and state that all of us want to succeed. The important questions are at what and how? I recently saw a poster that read “Great leaders don’t set out to be a leader…they set out to make a difference. It’s never about the role - always about the goal.” I’m not sure who said it, but I think that’s what Frankl meant as well. The goal, or success, being making a difference.

Leading requires passion. Effective Leaders are passionate about helping others empower themselves to become who THEY can be, not what the “leader” wants them to be. Another great quote I recently came across says, “The first thing you should know about me is that I am not you. A lot more will make sense after that.” Again, an unknown author.

If your goal or your purpose, your measure of success, is how many people you’ve turned into you, or a semblance of you, that’s not success. Success in leading is when a person becomes who they were meant to be and you, somehow, helped them become so.  

My life’s purpose is to help others achieve theirs. Not mine. I know that my purpose may not be everyone’s. It took me decades to figure that out. I encourage you to consider that even if you don’t agree with someone else’s purpose or mission in life, it’s okay. As My Brother, Dave Campanale, taught me, get over it!

Whether you’re leading at work or at home, figure out what your followers dream of becoming, respect them for it, and help them out as best you can. The world needs all of our successes, not just the ones we consider right. As Pope Francis has said, “Who am I to judge?”

Real success is making a difference. That difference is in helping others be themselves.