The Best Way to Find a Blessing….

 

According to AI (It did the research for me.) “In essence, to be "blessed" means to be in a state of divine favor, receiving good things and experiencing happiness, contentment, and a sense of well-being, often attributed to a higher power or a fortunate circumstance.” The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a blessing as “God's favor and protection.” Ok, before you get all curled up like a snake, let me tell you that I’m not proselytizing here, nor are these thoughts “necessarily” religious. But, leading effectively truly is spiritual, when you think about it. Do that…think about it….

 

 

Here's my most powerful thought of the day: The best way to find a blessing is to be one! Yeah, someone smarter than I probably already shared that with you, but it bears repeating. So let me repeat it: The best way to find a blessing is to be one!

 

What are you looking for in a leader? Not a manager. Two different functions. What are you looking for in someone you look up to as a leader?  Isn’t that person someone who helps you achieve or “receive good things and experience happiness, contentment, and a sense of well-being?” There may be some other criteria, but these are some. And when that person who I see as a leader does that for me, I’m more willing to follow them. Way more than someone who DOESN’T help me get those things. 

 

And an Effective Leader, a GREAT Leader, doesn’t just help me get those things, he or she helps me feel that sense of well-being. I see that as trust. That person who makes me feel that I can trust him or her, who “has my back,” is the person I’m going to follow. Which, by the way, is the ONLY criterion for being a leader, that you have a follower.

 

I don’t know how you feel, better, I hope, but it seems to me that we need more blessings in this crazy world we’re a part of right now. We can sit around, wringing our hands and waiting for them to appear, or we can make them happen. We can be a blessing to others, especially our followers, even to ourselves. It takes a sense of purpose, which, in many lives is spiritual. Blessing others isn’t logical, particularly when it’s purposeful, for their betterment, which probably makes the world better. I’m all for making a better world.

 

Your followers deserve a blessing. Today. Right now! You can wait and hope that they receive one. OR you can be one. Right now! Do think about it. The best way to find a blessing is to be one!

 

HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

Born or made?

 

Today’s my birthday! (Thanks!) I’m pondering the age-old question, “Are leaders born or made?” The obvious answer, of course, is YES!  We were all born and we each lead, at least ourselves. Some people, however, were born with the innate talents to lead others. Evidently, I’m one of those. I’ve always led. ALWAYS! Even when I didn’t want to. 

 

While still serving in the United States Air Force, my family and I had just moved to Germany. We were living in Lohnsfeld, near Sembach Air Base. I’d been involved with the Base Chapel at several of the bases where we’d previously been assigned. I heard that the Protestant Chapel Leadership Team was meeting the coming Tuesday, so I decided to attend and offer my help. I knew no one in the community. Not a person. As I said, we’d just arrived. 

                        

All of the folks at the meeting greeted me with respect and courtesy. They even invited me to sit at the table with them. I soon found out that most of the leadership team was returning to the States, so they were looking for new leaders. Being the new guy, I couldn’t refer anyone to any of the positions that they were intending to fill. I just didn’t know anyone yet.

 

I had to go pee, so I excused myself and went to the bathroom. When I returned, the entire group was smiling. They’d just elected me the new president! I didn’t even know these people and they made me their leader. Just like that!

 

I ended up leading that group for about six years. Every year or two I would suggest getting new leadership in to give us a fresh perspective and give others the opportunity to lead. They wouldn’t hear of it. “You’re our leader, Chief,” they would admonish me. I had to leave the country to quit that job. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed working with all of the folks involved in that small church. We were like family. 

 

Leading is about choosing to help someone. It’s about stepping up to that opportunity when someone needs help or support. If you’re a born leader, don’t fight it, just do it as best you can. If you aspire to lead, just do it as best you can. Regardless of whether you were born to lead or are learning to do so, just help each other. That’s what’s important.

 

HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez! 

The Motivation Myth....

 

One of the questions leaders are constantly asking each other is “How do you motivate your followers?” You DON’T! You CAN’T! They’re ALREADY motivated! To do what they’re already doing. The question within that question is “How do I get my followers to do what I want them to do?” That’s a different question. 

Here’s an example of how we can’t motivate others because they’re already motivated. My family and I are at the mall (a place with a lot of stores where people used to go to shop for stuff before the internet existed) in Moreno Valley, California. It used to be one of our favorite pastimes. Now, we just order from amazon. Anyway, Deb, Tesa, Elyse, and I are at the mall, just looking around. We’re in some store in which Elyse, about six-years-old, decides she wants something. She HAS to have it! “No you don’t,” I tell her. She has a fit! She’s crying and screaming at the top of her lungs that she wants it! I can’t do anything but take her out of the store. It was pretty embarrassing.

I take Elyse out to the mall and start to motivate her to stop her crying. She continues on. At the time I was the Commandant of the Noncommissioned Officer Academy at March Air Force Base. I was THE expert on leadership, as per my title, which, of course, included motivation. I give her my best stuff, citing motivation development theories and sharing examples, etc. She has nothing to do with it. 

Eventually, I get so frustrated that I decide to take her out to the car. As I take her arm, she goes limp. COMPLETELY limp! I catch her before she falls to the ground. Have you ever noticed that many drunk drivers who collide with something, including another vehicle, often survive without a scratch? Why is that? Because they’re so limp, they go with the flow. What will hurt you worse than anything when you take a fall is that your first inclination is to fight it, to become rigid. That’s how you break a wrist, an arm, or some other limb. As I try to pick her up, Elyse turns into a glob of Jello. She’s not motivated to do what I wanted her to do. She’s already motivated to do what SHE wants to do and does!

We CAN’T motivate others! They’re already motivated! But the question remains…How do I get my followers to do what I want them to do? You INSPIRE them to motivate themselves to do what you want them to do, and, hopefully, what they SHOULD do. That takes knowing them and investing time and effort in helping them grow by developing trust. You develop trust by being trustworthy.

Your followers may not do what you tell them to do but they will do what you do. Do what’s right. As I said in my book titled, What I Learned From Dad Made Me a Better Man!, “We cannot teach character. We cannot teach leadership. The best we can do is show it. People will then follow.”

The best way to inspire others is by being inspirational. That takes knowing them and encouraging them to be THEIR best. Someone shared a powerful thought with me recently: “Stop expecting YOU from other people.” Help them be them. That will inspire them to follow you. Then they’ll motivate themselves to do what they need to do.

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

Don't Change the World!

 

Surely, you’ve read or heard Gandhi’s famous saying, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Although that’s a powerful admonishment, at the risk of sounding cynical, I’m not sure how much of a change any of us can make to the world. One of my most favorite teachers said what I do believe is possible, though. St Francis of Assis said, “Don’t try to change the world. Change worlds.”

 

You see, we all, really each, live in our very own world. Yeah, we may live around, and with, other people who we affect by our behavior and attitude, but the only person who really lives your life is you. We, each, are the same in that respect, as we are different. 

 

After I retired, my mom would always encourage me to move back to New Mexico, where I grew up and where she lived. It broke my heart to explain to her that that world wasn’t my world anymore. First, it was incredibly hot down there and I don’t do hot anymore. But the culture, the environment, the people, even she and my siblings were different than those I lived with for fifty-plus years. It just wasn’t my world anymore. My world had changed. I wasn’t comfortable there, but I was where I lived.

 

If you aspire to be an Effective Leader, consider, especially when you’re mentoring, coaching, or guiding your followers, that they each live in their own world. It’s probably different than yours. And what works in your world may or may not work in theirs. 

 

I don’t have to tell you how important empathy is in your dealings with others. The essence of empathy is understanding. Just that. Not sympathizing, just understanding. Take time to observe each of your followers and try to imagine what their world must be like. You won’t succeed in knowing what it’s like, but you’ll get closer than by not trying. The more you know about their world, the better decisions you’ll make, and the more positive impact you’ll be able to have on them. 

 

We all live in our own little world, and as little as it may be, or seem to be, it’s our very own. Lead knowing that. By positively affecting your followers’ worlds, you will likely change the world. 

 

Until next time, be GREAT! You ARE!

 

HEIRPOWER!

How Do You Know?

 

I served (indirectly) under General Robert Rutherford while he was the Commander of Air Mobility Command. He was a no-nonsense kinda guy. Although I’m told by folks who worked for him directly that he wasn’t as physically large as I remember, I don’t know anyone who ever saw him smile. Not that he was mean or anything of the sort. He was just a very serious man.

He used to go around his bases, checking on his people and his wings’ operations. He’d get to Base X and as he was being shown around would ask people, “How are things going?” Imagine that. A four-star commander asking how things are going. How do you answer that? “Great, General!” Regardless of the truth, you’d answer in that way. 

His follow-up question would hit people between the eyes. “How do you know?” Duh…crickets…bumfoozled looks…. 

I’ve grown to value that question, “How do you know?” Call it measurement, assessment, or whatever term you want to use, but if you don’t have some way of analyzing how you’re doing, you won’t get any better, assuming you want to improve.

Stephen Covey taught me that “as long as you keep doing what you're doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.” If that’s good for you, more power to you. But if you intend to get better, it pays to know where you’re at to begin with.

Be GREAT! You ARE!

                                HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez

Why I Served

 

A few days ago, on the 53^rd anniversary of my becoming a member of the most powerful fighting force in the world, I took a few moments to reminisce about the life that I was blessed with. For some five decades, people asked me why I served. It was always THE PEOPLE! There are a few things about which I'm absolutely sure. One of them is that the Air Force is made up of the very best people in the world! Now, my Army, Marine, Coast Guard, and Navy brothers and sisters would probably argue with me, as well they should. The Space Force isn't old enough to give me any guff. I've only been an Airman, so I can only speak from that paradigm, although, as I said for many decades, all our services begin with "US." US Marines, US Air Force, US Navy, US Army, US Coast Guard, and US Space Force. It's always been about US protecting our country. Together!

 

As I looked at the many mementos I have displayed all over my home, I relived my military life as I recalled who took that picture, who gave me that memento or that coin, who I was serving with when I was presented that Chief bust. I was brought up under the principle that if you take care of the people, they'll take care of the mission.

 

That's another thing about which I'm absolutely sure. What’s happened, in truth, is that as l've taken care of people, they've taken care of me, and together, we've taken care of the mission, we've protected our country.

 

I joined the Air Force to avoid being drafted. Not that I had anything against the Army. I say "Hooah!" pretty well. But green just isn't my color. For those too young to know what the draft was, it was a process by which those who had never won a lottery, a door prize, or a raffle, were given the opportunity to win a free trip across the Pacific to a tropical paradise. Hey, that's what the letter from President Richard Nixon said! I joined the Air Force because of the draft. I stayed because of the people.

 

Throughout my military life, I was blessed with the opportunity to serve with truly great

leaders, colleagues, and followers. I was mentored by people who had a much more

expansive experience than I. I had friends who shared different perspectives on how to lead. And I led young troops who educated me much more than they realized. I thank God every day for all those blessings, for all those people, who helped make me who I am.

 

As I looked around my study, I noticed a plaque made for me by some young Airmen for whom I have the highest respect. That piece of art puts everything in the proper perspective. It quotes an old warrior who loved what he did every day of his military life. That quote will echo in that warrior's heart for as long as he lives. It reads, "Isn't this a GREAT day to be an American Warrior?!" I’m proud to have served. And I’d do it all again given the opportunity. 

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

Don't Gripe!

 

Having just arrived at this particular assignment, I’m sitting at my desk, minding my own business, for once, when, all of a sudden, this Master Sergeant, whom I’d never met before, walks into my office, slams the door shut, and starts yelling at me. I’m totally taken by surprise. I try to listen, but I’m not used to strangers yelling at me. After all, I’m a Chief! As she continues, I get frustrated pretty quickly and, literally, have to stand up, slam my hands on my desk, and shout above her to “Stand down!” She does, with the look of “Did I just do that?” on her face. I remind her of who I am, and the relationship we should be expressing at the moment, which should be one of mutual respect, and that she was violating that standard. She apologizes, sincerely. I can see it in her face and hear it in her voice. As she calms down, she relates her frustration to me. We had a mutually respectful conversation after that and she eventually left my office on good terms.

 

            Whether you’re in the role of leader or follower or just a person, never, ever, just gripe! It never gets you anywhere. Now, some of you may disagree and support the value of venting. There’s a difference. I looked it up! To gripe, by definition, means to “express a complaint or grumble about something, especially something trivial.” Granted, there’s value in expressing a complaint. What’s not effective is grumbling, especially about something trivial.

 

            Venting, on the other hand, is “giving free expression to (a strong emotion).” We all need to vent sometimes. But there’s a right way so that it doesn’t become griping. As I told that Master Sergeant at the end of our conversation, “If you need to vent, and I’m the person you need to vent to, just please come into my office, close the door in a normal way, and TELL ME that you need to vent. I’ll listen to you. And after you’re done, we’ll both calm down and see if we can find a solution to the problem.”

 

            This admonition has served me well for decades. You’ll have to trust me. Never gripe! If you want to complain about something, be specific, and ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, bring a solution, or ten, with you to the conversation. I’ve been in charge of many people and have been the point man for hearing out people’s complaints. When that happened, I always tried hard to listen empathically, but the value of the conversation was in finding a solution to the problem. Here’s the method: articulate the problem as accurately as you can. That means doing the research. Just because you don’t like it is not a good reason to complain. And, by the way, speak respectfully. Pitch your solutions, emphasizing the end result. “Boss, if we do this, this is what we’ll get from it.” Listen empathically for an honest reply. Almost every time I did this, the solution that the boss and I arrived at was a little different than either of our initial ideas. The boss has a different view. That’s okay. But together you can create a better alternative. It works, I tell ya, it works!

 

            No one, you included, wants to hear gripes. We want to hear solutions. Do the work. Be respectful. It will pay off. 

 

            When I left that unit, that same Master Sergeant came by on my last duty day, closed the door gently, and in a very sincere and respectful way told me, “Chief, we had many discussions the past few years, and you sometimes stepped on my toes, but you never messed up my shine.” That’s HEIRPOWER!

 

            Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                                            ¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!