The Person in the Mirror....

It really is all about you! How do you see yourself? 

I recently read a quote about seeing yourself in the mirror. The idea, I guess, is that the mirror will show you who you really are. WAIT! The image in the mirror that I look into is backward! 

Have you ever read something or watched something on the news that really ticks you off? Are you unlike me, and can shrug it off quickly, or does it affect you, maybe even influence you for a while? I, too often, let things bother me for longer than I should, and I probably, okay, for sure I do, take it out on those I live with. So, TURN IT OFF! Don’t read crap! Don’t listen to the news! Get off of social media! There are a lot of good books and websites you can read that will lift you up to become your best self. I’m trying to practice what I preach by listening to some great sounds produced by truly creative people, usually called musicians. I’m trying to create positive energy by listening to and reading positive stuff as opposed to all the negative stuff that I’m bombarded with daily. I know that garbage in, garbage out! Or worse, garbage in, garbage stays! What you see daily is what you’ll eventually become.

Seek the good in the world. There’s a lot of it. I promise! Smell the roses! It’s empowering. Hang out with great people and, in turn, help others become greater than you are! 

Back to that mirror. I’m convinced that mine magnifies the truth. I’m really much thinner than it reflects. No, really! The mirror doesn’t really show you who you are; your actions do. And those actions are the product of your mind and heart working together to produce the real you. How do you see yourself? If you see yourself as a dirtbag, you will become one because you will manifest those traits in your behavior. If you see yourself as a Shining Star with the potential to accomplish whatever you undertake, you will do so, or come a lot closer than the former. Here’s the truth…the Creator set you on this earth to accomplish the things only you can achieve. You can choose to not be your best, I suppose, but what a waste! 

This is the day that you can accomplish more than you ever thought. But you have to envision yourself doing it. Don’t look in the mirror, look into your heart. What one thing can you do today that will fulfill your life’s purpose? DO IT!    

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

            ¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

 

 

If At First You Don’t Succeed….

 

Do you remember the old saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."? The meaning of that phrase was “Don’t quit. Keep trying.” Here’s the deal, though. We usually perceive that phrase to mean keep doing what you’re doing until it works. Well, sometimes it doesn’t. Stephen Covery taught me that “If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.” If that’s working out for you, GREAT! Keep doing it, but if it’s not, don’t keep trying again. Don’t force it.

 

I was honored to serve as the Senior Enlisted Advisor to the Commander of the 92^nd Air Refueling Wing in Spokane Washington, under the leadership of Brigadier General Gary Voellger. What a great leader! The wing was preparing for a major inspection. We did a lot of the right things, but there was this one process that we just couldn’t make work. As we often did in those days (probably hasn’t changed), when a process didn’t work, we did it faster and harder. Force it until it works. Get a bigger hammer! During a senior staff meeting, General Voellger asked about that process. All of the senior officers at the table related to the general why it wasn’t working, and that we’d tried and tried. He asked a simple question that changed everything: “Have you tried something else?” It’s like the heavens opened up. No, we hadn’t. We were going to work harder and faster instead, by God. That was the way.

 

Dr Covey taught that if at first you don’t succeed, find out why, develop a better process, then try again. 

 

Maybe things have changed in the past 40 years, and I’m not telling you anything new. But maybe this simple consideration will change everything. If it does, you’re welcome!

 

Be GREAT! You ARE! HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

 

 

The Most Important Thing in the World!

In my Power of Values workshops, I ask participants if they have values. They always answer yes. I ask them to tell me what they are. Crickets…. Most people really don’t know what their values are. They don’t even know what the term “value” means. It means “what’s important.” I always get surprised looks when I share with them that my highest value is ME! OMG! That’s sacrilege! How selfish! GET OVER IT! We’ve been brainwashed into thinking that serving others is the most important thing we can do. NO, it’s NOT! Taking care of ourselves is the most important thing we can do. We cannot give what we do not have. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we’re no good to anyone!

 

I had a friend. I won’t tell you his name because Dave may not appreciate it. He was Deb and my bodyguard at our basketball games. He protected us from terrorists. Me, mostly from officials when I yelled at them. One season, Deb and I missed Dave after not seeing him at several consecutive games. We asked his sub if he was okay. She told us that he’d had a heart attack, but that he was recovering well. OH, CRAP! We hadn’t heard but were concerned for him. A few games later, he was back! Deb and I were grateful to see our friend again. He was smiling! That was good! After big glad-to-see-you’re-okay hugs, we got to talking about what had happened to him. He acknowledged that he’d had a heart attack. “I’m doing well now, though,” he told us. “I’m now on a diet and exercising regularly.” NOW? I didn’t say what I was thinking since it didn’t seem appropriate, but I was thinking, “Maybe you should have done that BEFORE you had a heart attack?!”

 

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, you know. But we can attempt to practice FOREsight and maybe Insight, so-to-speak.

 

In staying with my admonition to take care of ourselves FIRST, the foundational area of our humanity is the physical. If we don’t take care of our bodies, nothing else matters. There’s a point in our lives where that becomes critical. Actually, it’s ALWAYS critical. We just don’t realize it or often neglect it. Now, let me tell you, I don’t always practice what I preach. But I try. 

 

I’m writing this before you wake up. Here, shortly, I’ll head downstairs to my home gym to work out. I work out six times a week for 80 minutes each time. My regular exercise program isn’t geared toward losing weight, although I wish I could, but more toward maintaining my fitness. I’m so grateful to my friend Dave because he’s often my inspiration to work out. I don’t want to have a heart attack before I start taking care of myself.

 

I’m no expert, but I’ve read plenty on physical fitness that encourages us to work out at least three times a week, twenty to thirty minutes per session. Here are a couple of suggestions if you have trouble getting going: Listening to music helps me INCREDIBLY! Sometimes, I get into the music and don’t even realize that I’m huffing and puffing. It’s more like dancing on that elliptical. I watch videos while I pedal away on that bike-that-goes-nowhere-fast. Again, I get into a zone that makes time go by quicker. Find a Workout Buddy if that helps. There’s an app for that. 

 

My overall point here, again, is that we have to take care of ourselves FIRST, and the first way is through physical fitness. That also includes diet, which I’m terrible at, as well as rest and sleep, which are different. Rest, for me, is solitude and meditation. I do it as often as my Apple Watch tells me to. I told you that there’s an app for that. Although many of my friends don’t believe I sleep, I do. Six hours. That works for me. And when I sleep, I sleep well. Deb would attest to that.

 

Do your best to stay physically fit. It’s the most important thing in the world! In your world. Don’t wait. Start now! I’m heading down to my gym. Gotta take care of myself so that I can take care of others, including you!

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

 

Happy Interdependence Day!

Independence Day! Fourth of July!  Words that conjure up visions of neighborhood barbecues, family reunions, hometown parades, afternoon concerts in the park, fireworks and…you get the picture!  Great ways to celebrate!  Celebrate what?  Independence?  Yes. Historically, Fourth of July celebrations commemorate the anniversary of U.S. independence, but few of us really think about that as we enjoy the day and the long weekend.  Do you?

 

What I think about on this most important day is celebrating interdependence!  When we use the term “United States,” we usually think of a country bordered by the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans on the east and west and by Canada and Mexico on the north and south.  Geographically, that is correct.  However, what’s really most important about the United States is its internal makeup.  People!  People of diverse backgrounds and cultures that somehow accept each other, for the most part, and interact, combine their efforts, and become one nation.  

 

Do you remember the concept of the melting pot?  It was the idea that someday all of the different cultures represented in the U.S. would combine into one.  I refer to that idea in the past tense because I’m not sure anyone subscribes to it anymore.  Not too many years ago, another concept evolved using the illustration of the salad bowl.  The idea of the salad bowl is that it takes many different individual ingredients to make up a healthy dish.  Each of which is important to the whole.  You can have a salad without some of the ingredients, but it won’t taste the same, nor will it maintain its health value.  Such is the culture of the United States.  People who call themselves African Americans, Hispanics, Asian Americans, Italian Americans, Irish Americans, and the list goes on, each have their own individual histories, traditions, and cultures that, together, make us one people. We call ourselves, and each other, Americans.

 

There is nothing that any of us can do on a daily basis that isn’t somehow dependent on someone else to do their part.  What’s made the United States a great nation is that we’ve accepted each other’s differences and have built on them.  As Dr Stephen Covey said, “Unity is not sameness, it’s complementariness.”  He went on to challenge us to “celebrate the differences!”

 

As we celebrate Independence Day, and the freedom that comes with it, consider that the greatest freedom is the opportunity to appreciate the many different contributions our neighbors and coworkers have made to helping us enjoy the life we lead. Be grateful for that.  We’re all different, but we’re all the same.  We’re free because of what we do for each other.  Think of this day, the Fourth of July, as Interdependence Day! 

 

Isn’t this a GREAT day to be an American?!

Power!

 

Clench your fists. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Look at them. THAT is what many “leaders” think power is. Having control. Being able to tell people what to do. Being the “leader.” Let me ask you…how much can you give with clenched fists? Don’t you clench your fists when you’re about to FIGHT someone? Is that how a leader leads? By fighting? Doubtful.

 

Now, spread your arms wide, hands open, palms facing up. I know, it’s freaking out folks around you. Keep them wondering…! NOW, how much can you give? All you have, right? Isn’t that more powerful? As one of my mentors, Don Miguel Ruiz says, “You cannot give what you do not have.” And you certainly can’t give with closed fists! But with open arms and hands, you can give what’s most important for a leader to share…Don Miguel would tell you that it’s love!

 

I’ve suggested several times that the most important thing a leader does is care. That’s the truth! And caring is the manifestation of love. Ask Don Miguel!

 

I’ve read books and heard speakers talk about how to manage people. You already know that there’s a HUGE difference between managing and leading. Managers manage things and processes. Leaders empower people to lead themselves! Control is required to make a process work. Caring is required to help people grow! You can’t use management techniques to lead and expect them to follow. Ain’t gonna happen!

 

I served in the United States Air Force for 50 years. Although it’s a bit different in the civilian world, I’m convinced that the measure of a military leader’s ability to lead is based on whether or not her followers are willing to die for her. Maybe it’s NOT that different in the civilian world. Will your followers do ANYTHING they can to protect you? If so, it’s not because you fought with them. It’s because you cared for them.

 

Tony Robbins says that power is the capacity to act effectively. It’s the next level of what dictionary.com says. Who has the capacity to act effectively? Who has power? EVERYONE! If you claim, or aspire, to be a leader, you have to help others empower themselves so that, together, you can accomplish things beyond your separate dreams. As Stephen Covey taught me, 1+1=3 or more.

 

Open your arms! Welcome others and their diverse thoughts! Embrace them! Physically and spiritually! And celebrate their differences. Every one of us is different! But we all want the same things. As Simon Sinek says, we all want to be valued and valuable. Pick the way to do that…with clenched fists or open arms. Only one way will work. Your choice…! 

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                       ¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

 

We Don’t Understand the Struggle!

 

My Princess Number One, our first granddaughter, Nieves, and I were visiting my parents in New Mexico, as was our annual tradition. We stayed with Mom and Dad. They were Old School Types. In other words, they had no internet in the house. Nieves was about twelve at the time. Not having internet was driving her nuts! She couldn’t communicate with her friends back home. She had a phone, but no internet! How unAmerican! I was almost okay without it, but not quite. I decided to help calm Nieves down by taking her to breakfast at McDonald’s, where they DID have internet. As we walked into the restaurant, I was giving Nieves a hard time about her need for online connection. She shut me down quickly when she said, “Opa, you don’t understand the struggle.” I had no reply to her statement. She was right! I didn’t.

 

I’m not sure when it happens, but it does. We all evolve to a point where we think, usually say, “Been there. Done that.” But that’s not so. We’ve NEVER been here, nor done this. Life evolves constantly and, nowadays, faster than ever. 

            

We NEVER understand their struggle…our followers’ struggle. We barely understand OUR struggle. We don’t know what someone else has been through, or is going through, even if we’ve raised them. How many times have you wondered where “that” came from when your child surprises you with a “crazy” thought or behavior? Or one of your followers whom you had finally figured out. Yeah, RIGHT!

            

We don’t understand their struggle, whoever we’re trying to understand, or worse, control. The best we can do is practice empathy. Try to understand that they feel as they do. Don’t judge. You’re not worthy of that. Remember that their struggle is a lot different than yours, especially past struggles. The world changes constantly. To be an effective leader, you have to change, too. Seek to understand them before expecting them to understand you!

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

Discipline vs Punishment

 

There’s a difference between discipline and punishment! If you’re striving to be a leader, know the difference and strive for discipline.

 

We wonder why we have leadership problems in our culture, yet our perspective on developing followers is mostly based on forcing people to do what we want them to do. How’s that working for you?

 

When we strive to develop discipline, we tend to be more effective as leaders. Effectiveness, by the way, is simply getting what you want continuously. We want our followers to be great and do what they should do, even when we’re not around. That’s the sign of a good leader. The root of the word discipline is disciple. Now, I’m not proselytizing here, I’m just telling you the truth. A disciple is a follower. One who follows a leader to the degree of doing what the leader expects without being told. Now, discipleship doesn’t just happen. There has to be a reason followers follow a leader. The most powerful reason is that the leader cares. It may start with the leader saying he/she cares, but the power is in SHOWING you care! How do you show you care? The more you practice caring, the more your followers will follow you. Eventually, they’ll become your disciples. I, myself, am a disciple of several leaders, each of whom has, and many still do, shown me that they care. In MY language, which includes actions! 

 

One of the ways we “discipline” our followers is by making sure everyone pays for the indiscretions of a few, often, one. And, man, does that ever work! NOT! That’s PUNISHMENT! When that happens, and it does, the intent is that everyone will understand that we’re a team and that the actions of one affect everyone. We have to ensure that everyone does what’s right. You’d think we’d know better! Punishing everyone for the actions of one has never worked and never will. Sorry, but that’s the truth!

 

Now, I’m not advocating anarchy! What I AM advocating is that leaders, YOU, consider developing your followers into people who follow you for the right reasons, and do the right things even when you’re not around. That’s discipline. And that’s leading!

 

 

            Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!