Response Ability!

My Brother Chief, Ted Fest, recently posted an action picture on FaceBook that stated, “Leadership is not about power, it is about responsibility.” Although we think of responsibility as an action leaders take, it’s, actually, a noun, which, as you remember, requires no action, it just is. (I looked it up on dictionary.com.) Part of the definition for the word is “accountable for something within one’s power, control, or management.” Who are you accountable for? YOU! Who can you control? YOU! (Good luck with THAT!)

Now, let me get to the action leaders take… Take that word, “responsibility,” and split it up and you get “response” and “ability.” Don’t we have the power to control how we respond to whatever happens to us? Whether we do control ourselves is another topic. But we DO have the power to control how we respond!

I enjoy driving. FAST! I learned how to REALLY drive while living in Germany. Germans know how to drive! They take it seriously! Anyways, we retuned to The World in 2002 and have had to drive on the interstate a lot. It’s extremely frustrating for me. Americans DO NOT know how to drive and they’re always doing something other than driving while in the left lane going ten miles below the speed limit. I know you’ve seen that.

I’m on the interstate driving to work one morning at zero-dark-thirty. Hardly anyone on the road. I’m going at a pretty good clip. I see the lights of a car behind me creeping up on me. Before I know it, this little old man (I can see him) drives past me a couple of car lengths then, suddenly, moves over in front of me and brakes. I immediately slow down to avoid hitting him! Although I learned how to drive in Germany for reals, I spent a lot of years in Southern California, so I throw him the California salute (you know the one-finger one) and start screaming as loud as I can (I won’t share what I said.). As I almost hit him, I notice his license plate. It’s got a picture of a Purple Heart on it. This man received a Purple Heart!

My question is, do we have the ability to respond to our circumstances? As soon as I see that picture of the Purple Heart on the old man’s license plate, I back off. I take control of myself, emotionally and physically. I never did anything in all the years I served that warranted receiving a Purple Heart. Whatever you did, Sir, I thank you for your service. Please feel free to cut me off anytime.

We have the ability, the power, to respond to any circumstance! Real leaders think before they respond so that they respond appropriately. They have that power. But what is power? You’ll have to wait until next week to find out!

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

WRITE!

 

From my book titled, W.A.R. Stories!, Wisdom Acquired Randomly!

 

For about three decades I was a writer. I wrote music. I painted pictures with sounds. That was before I started painting pictures with words. Both have been seemingly right for me.

    The first mentoring I ever received about writing music was from an incredible writer and leader who eventually became a friend and mentor. He was Senior Master Sergeant Norm Charpentier. He was the “typical” musician. Great player and leader. Trombonist. He had stories for most topics and used many descriptive words when sharing them. He was a great music arranger/writer.

    I quickly became his student. His first and best, still powerful, lesson looked something like this:

          Me: Norm, I want to be a writer. A good one, like you. What do I need to do?

          Norm: Write.   

          Me: Yes, that’s what I want to do. How do I get to be good.

          Norm: Write.

        Me (getting frustrated): Yes! That’s what I’m asking. How do I become a good writer?

           Norm (frustrated as well) as he walks away: Write!

    You see, all this time I thought Norm was saying “RIGHT!” Not so. He was answering my question. There are three lessons here. First, ensure that you’re communicating by using language that your listener is sure to understand. I’m not blaming Norm. He was just in a succinct mood during that conversation. Secondly, listen for meaning, not just words. I thought I was hearing what I was hearing but it turned out I was hearing something different than what Norm was saying. Sounded the same to me. Thirdly, if you want to get good at something, it takes practice. Do it! Eventually, you’ll get better, or at least good enough to seek further training. I did. I wrote a lot of music for about four decades. I won’t say I became good at it, that might seem egotistic of me. The folks who played my music would have to decide that, along with those who heard it. But I stayed employed doing it, so I must have been, at least, decent.

INSIGHT: Whatever it is you aspire to do, even become. Don’t be afraid to try. Do your best at it. Seek help and keep trying. RIGHT?!

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                     ¡HEIRPOWER!

 

                                bob vásquez!

HUGE Impact!

 

Almost every conversation I had with others this week focused on the question, “How do leaders create a positive impact?” 

 

Having served in the military for more than 50 years, I’m accustomed to acronyms, so here’s one I created that’s based on my perspective of how leaders create a positive impact. It’s HUGE!

 

Be HUMBLE! That can be difficult because humility is difficult, if not impossible, to measure. How do you know if someone is humble? What’s the criteria? The official definition of humility is “a modest or low view of one's own importance.” Who knows whether you have a modest or low view of your own importance? YOU do! No one else! It seems to me that you’re the only one who knows whether or not you’re being humble. You’re really the only one who can make that assessment, but will your followers know? That’s who you’re trying to impact, right? Maybe they’ll know. Maybe not. See how difficult it can be? But here’s what you, as a leader, can do to express your humility. Practice being modest, respectful, considerate, and unselfish. This is the way. (Yeah. I’m a fan.)

 

Be UPLIFTING! As Robert Ingersoll said, “We rise by lifting others.” Zig Ziglar said, “He climbs highest who helps another up.” And, finally, Maya Angelou said, “Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.” Whoever you’re intending to lead today can use a pat on the back, a compliment on their work, even a word or two of encouragement that will empower them to be the best version of themselves. They’re great! Tell them so! It’ll cost you nothing. But the impact you’ll have will be powerful. It’s HUGE!

 

Be GRATEFUL! Create an attitude of gratitude. Be grateful that you get to lead each of your followers, as challenging as that may be some days. But that’s what’s cool about being a leader, overcoming the challenges. Being grateful will have an impact that you may not readily see, and it will be effective beyond your knowledge. I make sure I count my blessings, which are many, when I first wake up in the morning. I live in the greatest country in the world. I work with the best people on Earth. I woke up healthy! I woke up! I have a lot to be grateful for. I bet you do, too. Be grateful. It’s contagious.

 

Be EMPATHIC! Empathy is one characteristic we’re in dire need of today. Empathy is about understanding, not judging. As Stephen Covey taught me, “We can agree to disagree agreeably.” We actually can! I don’t have to agree with you to still care about you and respect you. That’s how you feel about the subject. I don’t agree, but I respect that you feel that way. We’re good. And that’s good. Dr Covey also taught us to “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” The more we practice that, the more impact we’ll have on ourselves and on others. Leading effectively starts with me practicing understanding and not judging. As Pope Francis has said, “Who am I to judge?”

 

These four, seemingly simple, ways of thinking and being will have a HUGE impact on you, your followers, and our world. Think about how you can practice them today. Just one behavior in each category, and I guarantee you HUGE results! 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                     ¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

Where you at?

I love when my grandkids ask me, “Where you at, Opa?! Although they’re asking for my geographical location, I, being the philosopher that I am, take the question to the next level when I make the time to think about it.

 

For decades I’ve suggested that you have to take care of you first! Yeah, that’s a seemingly selfish philosophy, but as I often say, you can’t give what you don’t have. That’s some Toltec philosophy there.

 

Basically, there are four personal domains, that we all have to balance in order to be healthy, fit, effective leaders. You know them but let me remind you. They’re physical fitness, mental fitness, relationship fitness, and spiritual fitness. You have to maintain each of those domains daily in order to be fit to fight the daily battles, not just as a leader, but as a human being. The good news is that you can do it!  The IMPORTANT news is that if you don’t take care of you, you won’t be able to take care of anyone else.

 

Eric Hoffer, known as the “longshoreman philosopher,” said, “To become different from what we are, we must have some AWARENESS of what we are.”

 

Every self-improvement process begins with self-assessment. Where you at?! You want to improve any, or all, of those fitness domains? Start by taking a minute or two and  think deeply to assess yourself in those four areas. On a scale of one to five, one being “terrible,” three being “okay,” and five being “great!”, how would you grade yourself in your physical fitness…your mental fitness…your  relationship fitness…, and your spiritual fitness. It doesn’t have to be exact, but a measure of where you are so that you can, later, assess if you’ve made any progress.

 

The next step is how are you going to improve. I’ve been around a while. One thing I’ve learned is that if you don’t write down your thoughts, you’ll lose them. I used to think that that was an old-age thing. It’s not. There’s too much information (my grandkids call it TMI) to keep it all in your brain. Write down where you’re at so that you can compare after you’ve done what you just said you’d do to improve. It seems that every improvement we make, even the small ones, will propel us to work even harder. We all like the idea of getting better, but if you don’t know where you’re at to begin with, how will you know you’re better?

 

I did what I just admonished you to do. I’m not at a five in those domains yet, but I know where I’m at and I’m working on getting better. I challenge you to do so, too. 

 

         Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                                        ¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

Who Needs to Know?!

This lesson may is as important to followers as to leaders. If you’ve read my book, HEIRPOWER! Eight Basic Habits of Exceptionally Powerful Lieutenants!, you may recall that one of the tenets of Building Trust is keeping people informed.

One of the worst things that can happen to a leader is to get a call from higher headquarters asking about something that went down badly that you aren’t aware happened at all. Not knowing makes the leader look as though she doesn’t know what’s going on in her unit. Oh, WAIT! That’s exactly what has happened, or not happened, if you will. 

It seems to me that if something happened that higher headquarters aren’t aware of immediately, the entire unit suffers. A unit that doesn’t share information is seen as untrustworthy by external folks. 

As a parent, I always wanted to know my girls had messed up before hearing it from an external source. Not that I wouldn’t respond in kind to them having done something they knew better than to do, but it was better hearing it straight from the horse’s mouth. 

If, or when, something happens, good, but especially bad, tell your boss! That will not only save face for the boss, but it will help you develop the type of trust you need to get the job done. It may even help you get promoted!

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

Ask. Don't Tell!

 

We often describe the differences between managers and leaders by their methods. We say that managers manage things and leaders lead people. I agree with the description of managers. The description of leaders is, however, not entirely accurate, in my humble opinion.

 

Basically, mangers tell, and leaders ask. Managers manage processes, how things are done. Nothing wrong with that. Leaders lead persons. Individuals. “But aren’t they people?” Yeah, but…. Whenever we look at people, that is, several persons together, we see them as a group, a thing. We don’t see each person’s unique talents, values, identities, etc. They’re a thing. If you want to be an Effective Leader, you must see each follower as an individual and treat them as such. To get them to follow, ask, don’t tell.

 

Simon Sinek says that people (persons) just want to be valuable and valued. How do you express to a person that they’re valued. Individually. You can lump them together and tell them they are, but that probably won’t go too far, especially if each person doesn’t believe it, particularly if you don’t behave in a way that each feels valued. So how to do it?

 

Ask! “How are you?” asked in a sincere way will go far. Especially if you listen for the answer and act accordingly. “GREAT!” and “SUCKS!” will require different responses. “Where did you grow up?” “Where do you call home?” “Are you married?” “Do you have children?” “How’s your mom, who has been ill, doing?” You catch my drift. Those questions, especially about family express caring. Again, you have to wait for the answers. 

 

We’re the expert on us. No one else knows what we know about us, especially how we feel. We each feel valued when someone asks us about how we’re doing or how we’re feeling. Although we might argue as to whether or not feeling valued is intrinsic or extrinsic (both, actually), you, as the leader, can do your part by asking good questions. 

 

I remember being at an offsite where a speaker said something that I disagreed with. I stood up and said, “I don’t agree with that!” The speaker, in all seriousness, looked me in the eye and said, “Sure you do!” And he expected me to follow him? I didn’t. I couldn’t.

 

You can’t tell persons how they feel. The best you can do is ask them. You can’t tell people to follow you. They will, or won’t, based on whether or not they trust you, and that’s not a cognitive process, it’s a feeling, an emotion.

 

Managers tell. Leaders ask. There’s a time and place for each. Know which is appropriate and do it well.

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

                                            ¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

Who REALLY Knows?

 

It’s interesting that most books on leadership are written by "experts." But who says they’re experts? Yeah, I know there are colleges and universities that give degrees in leadership. But who made the professors experts? Dave Logan, a leadership expert, and really fine man, signed my copy of his Tribal Leadership book, which by the way is very good, “To Chief Bob Vasquez - To a Real Leader, from one who merely pretends.”

Who really knows whether or not someone is a leader? The followers! We ask “leadership experts” for advice and guidance and always neglect those who really know, the followers!

So how does a leader know whether or not she/he is leading effectively? Ask. The followers. Yeah, that’s risky, especially if you make it personal, which leading really is. But there are some questions a leader can ask that are more about the performance. The ultimate question is, “How do your followers see you?” And the answer is valid. No excuses. Now, these questions lead to the personal part of leading, because, as I said, leading IS personal. A person leads another. But these questions, making the responses as objective as possible, can held guide you. Here they are:

What do you see as my strengths? Old thinking said that we need to work on our weaknesses. New thinking says that we should capitalize on our strengths. Work on your weaknesses so that they don’t interfere with your ability to practice your strengths, but hone your strengths, whatever your followers tell you they are.

What do you see that I could improve on? This one is difficult to accept sometimes. As my mentor, Don Miguel Ruiz, advises, don’t take it personally. Think about the behavior/action your follower is telling you, based on her/his observation, you might improve. Remember, your goal is to be a better leader TO YOUR FOLLOWERS, not to anyone else.  

What are you willing to do to help me improve in those areas? Another mentor, Dr Stephen Covey once told me, “No involvement, no commitment.” Leading is a team effort. Invite your followers to help you lead them. The result, really, is that they’ll eventually lead themselves. That’s real effectiveness…when you don’t have to worry about whether or not they’re doing what’s right. They just do. It’s their identity to do so.

What will I(we) do to help me improve? This is the real commitment question. Make an improvement plan with your followers’ help. Again, as they help you grow, they can’t help but grow, as well.

Leading can be fun. It is, especially when you succeed. Your purpose as a leader is to grow as you help your followers grow. Keep them in the mix. It’s about them as much as it is about you. And THEY really know….

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!