Never Assume That You Communicated!

 

The youngster in charge of a crew I had moving a ladder comes up to me and announces, “Chief, we got the ladder put up where you said to.” I trust him, but I should verify. I ask him to accompany me to where I asked him to have the ladder placed. As we get to the spot I wanted it in, I look around, but there’s no ladder there. “Where is it?” I ask the youngster, who gives me a confused look. “We put it over there,” he points to a totally different spot. “I said I wanted  it here!” I reply a little perplexed. Now, we all know that communication is a key element of leading effectively. And if you analyze that story, you’ll find that there are two communication failures. The first failure is easy to notice. The assumption is that the youngster didn’t listen to me. Or at least not attentively enough to know exactly where I wanted that ladder placed. I remember being young. My mind ran at a lot faster speed than it does now. It ain’t old age! It’s the altitude! Anyway, in my zealousness, I was intent on getting a lot done, which meant that I didn’t listen as well as I should have. I was, often, in such a hurry to get things done that I didn’t do the right things nor did them the right way, because I wasn’t listening as I should have. The first failure was a followership issue. A good follower listens! The second failure is the leadership failure. We ALWAYS, or at least almost always, assume that what we said was heard and understood. Just a few minutes ago, Deb, my lovely bride of forty-eight wonderful and fulfilling years, sent me off to get some takeout. You may be wondering what that has to do with leadership. If you’re married, you know. As I finished placing my order, the voice emanating from the squawk box asked if I had a loyalty card and suggested I give the person at the window the number. I know we have one, but I wasn’t carrying it, so I called Deb to ask her for it. She reminded me that she’d told me that she would take care of it when I got home, just make sure to get the receipt. Here’s where she went wrong, not I! She assumed I’d heard her and understood what she’d told me. NOPE! If she told me, I was focused on something else, like finding my car keys. You ever listen to someone while you’re looking for your car keys? Ain’t happening! The leadership failure we often make is in thinking that what we said was, first, heard, then understood. That’s an honest assumption, but a communication failure, nonetheless. As George Bernard Shaw said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” If you’re ever to be an effective follower, which all effective leaders are, you have to listen, especially if you’re being given instructions. If you’re ever to be an effective leader, you have to ensure that what you say is heard and understood. Start with talking THEIR language. Not yours. Ask the listener if she/he understood and ask them to tell you what they heard. Now, do it in a kind and professional way. If you’re rude about it, they won’t listen to you at all. Yes, communication is critical for any team to succeed. Don’t assume anything. You know what it does to you and me! 

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE! 

HEIRPOWER! 

bob vásquez! 

What’s Your Legacy?

 

A legacy, by definition, is “a gift.” I looked it up! When you lead, you’re providing a gift to your followers. If you’ve done it right, you’ve given them a gift that they will, in turn, pass on to THEIR followers. That’s the value of leaving a legacy. And we all do…leave a legacy. I’m convinced that most of us, if not all of us, would prefer to leave a legacy of being good leaders.

 

The other day, I was walking the halls of the United States Air Force Academy when I noticed a young captain leaning against a wall, looking at his cell phone, probably texting. As I came upon him, he acknowledged me by saying good morning, and as he did so, he noticed who I was and smiled as he almost proclaimed, “Chief Vásquez!” People do that! Often, with the expectation that I remember them. I’ve met a lot of people in my short time on this earth. I can’t remember them all. It ain’t old age! It’s the altitude! Anyways, I said hello and, not being able to help myself, I stopped to chat with him. Yeah, I know that not everyone has time to listen to my stories, but most people respect me enough to humor me. I appreciate that.

 

The captain reminded me that he’d been one of my students about seventeen years ago. Man, I REALLY don’t remember that far back! We talked about the workshop he’d attended with me. I asked him if he remembered what I attempted to teach him. He did! Not everything, but some things, which is, I think, enough. What he recalled most was how I made him feel, which was “good.” Empowered is what he described. Empowered to strive to be a better person daily. That’s my legacy.

 

As I said before, we all leave some kind of legacy. What will yours be? When you leave the team, group, or organization that you’re a part of now, what gifts will you leave those who remain? What will they say about you? You know they will, right? What would you LIKE them to say? You can control that to some degree, you know, by your behavior. If you want people to remember you as kind, be kind! Loving? Love! You catch my drift.

 

In my life, the measure of success, especially as a dad, which is one of my most important roles, is that my daughters know that I love them. The test is when I tell them that I love them and they respond with, “I know.” One of my favorite maxims is, “When you came into this world you cried and the people rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you leave this world the people will cry and you will rejoice.” Strive to leave a legacy that people will appreciate. Start now!

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

                                             

¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

 

 

 

The Key to the Many, Is the ONE!

 

Dr Stephen Covey taught me that the key to the many, is the one.  We often think that being an effective leader is tied to leading lots of people. Although the truth is that it’s often more like leading lots of cats. We often believe that the more people we lead, the more effective we must be as a leader. That’s all rubbish. We can “lead” a lot of people and be totally ineffective, as well as lead one person who makes a huge impact on the world and others. The numbers are all relative. Except one. 

 

The key to leading is modeling. You can talk all you want, until you’re blue in the face, and still no one will follow you. But what your followers WILL follow is what you do. Good leaders are good teachers, and the most effective way to teach is to show, especially in the realm of leading. Hence, the importance of that number, one. The key to the many, is the one. I added what makes that statement incredibly effective, I think. “I am the one!” It’s ME! I make the difference. I wish that I’d been able to study with another great Effective Leader who epitomized this entire essay, Mahatma Gandhi. You may remember one of his most profound teachings, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

 

I remember my granddaughter, Nieves, probably five years old at the time, doing something that intrigued me. I asked her, “Nieves, why do you do that that way?” She looked me in the eye, almost surprised by my question, and answered, “Because YOU do, Opa!”

 

If you want to be an Effective Leader, you have to behave like one. You have to do what an Effective Leader does. Jim Cathcart, author of The Acorn Principle, asks another question that every Effective Leader should ask daily, several times a day, as a matter of effectiveness. His question is, “How would the person I want to be do what I’m about to do?” 

 

Be that person. An Effective Leader. Act like one. The key to the many, is the one. YOU are the one!

 

Until next time, be GREAT! You ARE! 

 

HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

 

 

The Mystery of Leading….

 

One of the mysteries of leading is whether or not you made a difference. Did your guiding, teaching, caring, loving help to make that person a better person? More often than not, we’ll never know. That old saying, “We don’t know what we don’t know,” is powerfully true when attempting to lead others, maybe ourselves, too. I’ll have to ponder that one.

 

    It’s great when you DO learn whether or not “they got it.” If there’s evidence that they didn’t, you’ll quickly question what you might have done differently and more effectively. Don’t burn yourself out doing that. Too many external influences to figure that out.

 

    What a blessing when you discover that your effort DID work! I was with my daughter and her family in Missouri a couple of weeks ago. Elyse is my baby, so whenever she asks me to do something, I do it. You know what I mean if you have a daughter or daughters. Shortly upon my arrival, Elyse asked me if I would be willing to speak to the sixth graders at the middle school where she works. I love kids! All of them! I accepted her invitation after asking what she wanted me to talk about. Character and leading were what she was looking for the kids to get some guidance on. Those are my specialties, so I accepted, not realizing that she wanted me to do four talks that week. Hey! Anything for my girls!

 

    I talked with all of the sixth graders about making good choices and some of the virtues of good character, selflessness being one of those. As I just said, I didn’t know if they got it. I believed they did, but no way to know, until I did!

 

    I talked with my 11-year-old granddaughter’s class on the last day that I was there. Pequeña, my 11-year-old granddaughter, was in that class. She was like a sponge! She heard every word that I said, evidently. And understood the message. That evening, as we prepared to watch a movie together as a family, Pequeña asked if anyone wanted popcorn. We’re a popcorn-loving family, so everyone raised their hands. She was excited about popping that popcorn for all of us. She did, then filled a bowl of it for each of us. She’s a good popcorn popper, by the way. As we began watching the movie, I noticed that she didn’t seem to have a bowl of popcorn. I asked her if that was the case. She acknowledged that there hadn’t been enough for everyone, so she served everyone except herself. WHAT?! She’s eleven! What eleven-year-old kid does that?! Well, Pequeña does. She hadn’t said anything. She would have gone without had I not noticed. Luckily, her mom suggested that there might be a bag in the cupboard. She found it, popped it, and shared it again, this time, taking some for herself. You know that Warriors don’t cry…but sometimes our eyeballs sweat. Who’s crying? I’m not crying!

 

I can see that scene in my mind and my heart as if it were just occurring. There’s little better than knowing that HEIRPOWER! does exist and that you and I can help our followers and loved ones create it. Whether we’re “successful” will remain a mystery, but also a blessing when it’s validated. THANK YOU, Pequeña, for being you!

 

Until next time, be GREAT! You ARE!

 

HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

Hispanic Heritage Month

Every year around this time, I’m approached by people with the same question,  “Hey, Chief,”  they ask,  “why do we have to have Hispanic Heritage Month?  Aren’t we all Americans?”  I never argue that a bit, but there’s more to it.  I’m sure you know we celebrate African-American/Black History Month in February, Women’s History Month in March, Asian-Pacific Month in May, Hispanic Heritage Month in September/October, and Native American Month in November.  The purpose of those observances is to educate those of us who don’t know a lot about those cultures, and to acknowledge the contributions those groups of people have made to our own American heritage. 

 

What makes America great is its diversity.  If you’ll look around you (go ahead, no one’s watching), you’ll notice that what we call America is made up of people from all kinds of cultures, from different parts of the country, or the world. We’re all different, yet we’re all the same. We share the same basic values that make us Americans. We’re invested in making our country and the world a better place for all of us to live. We believe in a democratic system of government where the people have a say in what and how we live. What makes America great is that, although we have different and diverse needs and desires, even though we’re all different, we’ve been able to synergize all those differences to form one unified family that allows us to be ourselves and to accept each other.

 

            We used to talk about the American Melting Pot.  An honorable idea, but I’m not sure it’s attainable.  Why?  Because there is very little, if any, chance that we’ll all “melt”, that we’ll all assimilate, that we’ll all be the same.  And I’m not so sure we all want to be the same.  I think it was General George Patton who said, “If two of us are thinking the same thing, we don’t need one of us.”  There’s a marked difference between thinking the same thing and thinking with the same purpose in mind. Diversity means we can think differently but attain the same goal.

 

The concept of the American Salad Bowl comes closer to describing the culture we live in.  The illustration of the salad bowl describes a dish that, as a whole, is its own entity, delicious and healthy.  What gives that dish its flavor and wholesomeness is all of the different ingredients that make it one.  Each ingredient adds its own contribution to the whole.  Any part of it that’s missing will affect the end result. 

 

            Dr. Stephen Covey said that “unity is not sameness, it’s complementariness.”  If we are to be united, we have to be willing to accept, appreciate, and celebrate each other’s differences. 

 

There’s plenty of propaganda stirring people to adopt a victim mentality when it comes to diversity. Accept your heritage as part of your identity. And contribute what you can to make America great. We can be great only by each of us behaving in that way. Learn as much as you can from everyone you lead, you follow, and you live with. We’re all different, yet we’re the same. We’re Americans! Together, we can go forward!  

 

                           ¡ADELANTE!

bob vásquez!

 

Effective Leaders Don't Ping!

 

I’m going to assume that you’re familiar with the word “ping.” I suppose the next closest term to that is “freaking out.” Whichever term you prefer, Effective Leaders don’t do that.  A critical trait of an Effective Leader is the ability to remain calm, especially when all hell breaks loose. I’ll, again, assume that you know what THAT term means. If not, ask someone senior to you and count your blessings. An Effective Leader practices that meme that’s so familiar that starts with, “Stay calm,” and often describes an event that most of us don’t want to stay calm about. But how does one stay calm in the midst of assumed chaos? Here are some tips in the form of questions to ask yourself BEFORE you freak out. BEFORE is critical, by the way.

What do I know? We make decisions based on the information we have. Before making rash decisions or statements, assess what you know about the event. Ask trusted colleagues to tell you the truth. That may include your followers. They may know more than your fellow leaders. Leave emotion out of it. Just the facts, Ma’am. (Google that.)

What don’t I know? Once you’ve assessed what you know, what DON’T you know? Again, it will probably serve you to ask others. Expand your circle so that you don’t get the same information from the same people you asked the first question of. There’s often more than one perspective on the same event. Objectivity is key. You probably don’t want to ask someone who’s pinging what happened.

Who knows? Again, your fellow leaders or colleagues will probably have a different view from your followers or other bystanders. You want to make the best decision possible. You also want to know who did what. Don’t accept opinions. What was seen, not presumed.

What’s best? Having assessed as much information as you can gather, what’s best for the team, the organization, or others affected by your guidance or decision? Remember that there may be some who don’t agree with your decision, but they don’t have the information, nor gone through this process, like you just did. 

WRITE IT DOWN! Ok, you may not know how to write if you’re a young leader, no disrespect intended. Capture it on your iPhone so that you can go back and review all the data you have to make the best decision. You may have to go through the process a few times, depending on the severity of what happened.

Do stay calm. Be as objective as you can be. Do these things as quickly as you can, but no quicker. Back in the day, there was a deodorant commercial with the tag line, “Don’t ever let them see you sweat.” That’s good advice. Stay cool and calm. Be systematic about how you make decisions, and you’ll be able to control yourself from getting emotional and pinging. Don’t do it.

 

Until next time, be GREAT! You ARE! HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

When Do We Quit?

 

I’ve been watering and nurturing three plants in my backyard since spring began here in Colorado. I can’t tell you when that began because the seasons in Colorado are haphazard at best. We’ve already had winter and autumn this summer. Like they say, If You Know, You Know.

 

It's September now, and the seasons are in the midst of changing again. Soon, it’ll be cold, and I won’t even think about watering those plants. I’ll probably get rid of them in a few weeks. They’ll have outlived their value. Maybe….

 

A few years ago, I nurtured a plant all summer long. It began humbly, but through my efforts and its perseverance, it eventually blossomed into a beautiful plant. Until fall. Fall usually hits Colorado abruptly. That year, it did. All of a sudden, my plant stopped growing and soon died. Not willing to surrender completely, I kept the plant in my garage all winter. A few months passed. One morning, when it had gotten almost warm, I noticed that plant in my garage. It was beginning to revive itself. I don’t know that I’ve ever been happy about a plant recovering, but I was this time. I immediately began re-nurturing it. And guess what? It came back with full force. Within a week or two, it’d regained its nature, and by spring it was beautiful again. I, of course, took credit for its health.

 

You may be wondering what this has to do with leading. It’s almost natural to give up on things once we’ve decided that they’ve outlived their value. Even people. But when do we truly know that that’s the case? As leaders, do we give up on our followers after they’ve reached a plateau, at least in our view? Do we throw them away and get new ones next season? I think that happens more than we realize. Joey had so much potential. I provided him with every resource that I could. He grew. He excelled. And then, one day, he just stopped improving. I replaced him with Dorothy, who, like Joey at first, was an unstoppable dynamo. 

 

Maybe we shouldn’t quit nurturing our followers. Maybe they, like all of Nature, reach a point where they need to revive themselves. Maybe we should accept that and keep nurturing them, not as hard, but hard enough to keep them alive through the revival period, so that they can come back in full force. 

 

When do we quit on our followers? I say, NEVER! You never know when that person, whom you hired because of their potential, has reached that potential. Keep nurturing them. They may be about to blossom. Don’t give up on them! Their best is yet to come!

 

Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

HEIRPOWER!

 

Chief bob vásquez!

The Need to Succeed

 

I hope you’ll make time to read a book by Viktor Frankl titled, Man’s Search for Meaning. It will open your eyes to many things you hadn’t thought about before.

In the introduction, Frankl writes that “success must not be pursued, it must ensue.” The word, ensue, if you’re not familiar with it, means that it is a result of something. When we pursue, we set our sights on that thing and if we’re “truly focused” that’s what we’re engulfed in doing. When something ensues, it’s almost a serendipitous conclusion that’s based on behaviors and actions that affect others more deeply than the conclusion itself.

I’m going to go out on a limb and state that all of us want to succeed. The important questions are at what and how? I recently saw a poster that read “Great leaders don’t set out to be a leader…they set out to make a difference. It’s never about the role - always about the goal.” I’m not sure who said it, but I think that’s what Frankl meant as well. The goal, or success, being making a difference.

Leading requires passion. Effective Leaders are passionate about helping others empower themselves to become who THEY can be, not what the “leader” wants them to be. Another great quote I recently came across says, “The first thing you should know about me is that I am not you. A lot more will make sense after that.” Again, an unknown author.

If your goal or your purpose, your measure of success, is how many people you’ve turned into you, or a semblance of you, that’s not success. Success in leading is when a person becomes who they were meant to be and you, somehow, helped them become so.  

My life’s purpose is to help others achieve theirs. Not mine. I know that my purpose may not be everyone’s. It took me decades to figure that out. I encourage you to consider that even if you don’t agree with someone else’s purpose or mission in life, it’s okay. As My Brother, Dave Campanale, taught me, get over it!

Whether you’re leading at work or at home, figure out what your followers dream of becoming, respect them for it, and help them out as best you can. The world needs all of our successes, not just the ones we consider right. As Pope Francis said, “Who am I to judge?”

Real success is making a difference. That difference is in helping others be themselves.

An Alternative to Feedback!

I’ve always admonished my followers to present an alternative, or ten, whenever they present a complaint. I’m not complaining. Okay, maybe, but not to you or anyone in particular, mostly to, or about, our culture. So, here it goes, but I have a solution….

     Feedback sucks! Yeah, I said it! And you’ve thought it. Even the word itself is demeaning. Think about it. Who do we feed? Those who can’t feed themselves. I can feed myself. I’m pretty sure you can, too. Don’t feed me. Especially, stupid thoughts or ideas that aren’t founded in truth. You know what I mean. And BACK! As in feed…back. I don’t want to go backward. I want to keep moving forward. Don’t you? Now, I’ll admit that looking at how you did things before and assessing how you can improve them now or in the future are valuable, but don’t dwell on the past. Learn from it, but keep striving forward. And I don’t know ANYONE who provides feedback appropriately. Most people, especially those who consider themselves leaders but aren’t, are afraid to be honest with their followers. That’s why they wait so long to tell you what you did wrong and how you can make it right. You know I’m telling you the truth. Alous Huxley said that “we shall know the truth, and it shall make us mad.”

 

    So, what’s my solution? I call it P.I.A. It stands for Personal (Professional) Improvement Advice. Before I break it down, let me give you an overall perspective. Isn’t the intent of what we call feedback really us giving or receiving Personal or Professional Improvement Advice? 

 

    I’m going to almost disagree with a teaching from one of my mentors, Don Miguel Ruiz. Don Miguel is the author of The Four Agreements, which, by the way, is a GREAT book. You should read it. His second agreement is Don’t Take Anything Personally. He’s referring to how we accept advice and feedback (ugly word). Not taking things personally is incredibly difficult for me, and maybe for some of you. Everything we do is personal. For years, one of the most popular buzzwords in our culture has been “ownership.” That’s personal. I almost appreciate the word “ownership.” I do appreciate the meaning. The gist of the meaning, I believe, is that we take responsibility and accountability for what we do and how we do it. Owning who we are by what we do produces our identity. We all have one. Is it what we want it to be? If we take ownership of it, we can create the right identity. Effective Leaders are consistently striving to improve themselves and their followers, which is the second part of PIA. 

 

    Isn’t the intent of feedback to help someone improve? It should be. It isn’t always. I’ve seen too many instances of a person giving someone feedback just to make the receiver feel bad, or to demean them, thinking that it will make the giver superior. It never does that. There’s huge value in helping someone improve. But that takes some mastery of what it is that should be improved. And it also takes some assessment of the reason the person isn’t better to begin with. Most of all, it takes empathy to understand the circumstances of the behavior or action needing improvement. It takes work. Do the work, and then you may provide advice. But you have to share it appropriately.  

 

    Key to providing or receiving advice so that it helps us improve is trust. Have you ever had someone you don’t trust give you advice? How effective was that? Probably not very. One of the characteristics of trust is purpose. As I just noted, if your purpose for sharing advice is to make you look better, it won’t work. If it’s to help that follower better themselves, there’s a better chance it will work. Since you probably haven’t attended my Building Trust seminar, let me tell you that people know pretty quickly whether or not they can trust you. It may take time to build a truly trusting relationship, but the first impression is often accurate. When providing advice to someone, keep in mind that your experience is not their experience. How many times have you heard someone say, or maybe you’ve even said it, “Been there. Done that.” The truth is that you’ve NEVER been there nor done that exactly as they have. NEVER! The world is constantly changing. What you both experienced is not the same. Practice empathy, then share advice if they want it.

 

    I’m still fine-tuning my PIA concept. It’s always personal, even when it’s professional. We all seek to improve our lives in some way. Sincere advice intended to help someone empower themselves to develop their identity can be powerful. I’m convinced that the concept of Personal (Professional) Improvement Advice is a lot more effective than the F word.

    Until next time, 

                    Be GREAT! You ARE!

                                ¡HEIRPOWER!

                                        bob vásquez!

The Person in the Mirror....

It really is all about you! How do you see yourself? 

I recently read a quote about seeing yourself in the mirror. The idea, I guess, is that the mirror will show you who you really are. WAIT! The image in the mirror that I look into is backward! 

Have you ever read something or watched something on the news that really ticks you off? Are you unlike me, and can shrug it off quickly, or does it affect you, maybe even influence you for a while? I, too often, let things bother me for longer than I should, and I probably, okay, for sure I do, take it out on those I live with. So, TURN IT OFF! Don’t read crap! Don’t listen to the news! Get off of social media! There are a lot of good books and websites you can read that will lift you up to become your best self. I’m trying to practice what I preach by listening to some great sounds produced by truly creative people, usually called musicians. I’m trying to create positive energy by listening to and reading positive stuff as opposed to all the negative stuff that I’m bombarded with daily. I know that garbage in, garbage out! Or worse, garbage in, garbage stays! What you see daily is what you’ll eventually become.

Seek the good in the world. There’s a lot of it. I promise! Smell the roses! It’s empowering. Hang out with great people and, in turn, help others become greater than you are! 

Back to that mirror. I’m convinced that mine magnifies the truth. I’m really much thinner than it reflects. No, really! The mirror doesn’t really show you who you are; your actions do. And those actions are the product of your mind and heart working together to produce the real you. How do you see yourself? If you see yourself as a dirtbag, you will become one because you will manifest those traits in your behavior. If you see yourself as a Shining Star with the potential to accomplish whatever you undertake, you will do so, or come a lot closer than the former. Here’s the truth…the Creator set you on this earth to accomplish the things only you can achieve. You can choose to not be your best, I suppose, but what a waste! 

This is the day that you can accomplish more than you ever thought. But you have to envision yourself doing it. Don’t look in the mirror, look into your heart. What one thing can you do today that will fulfill your life’s purpose? DO IT!    

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

            ¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

 

 

If At First You Don’t Succeed….

 

Do you remember the old saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."? The meaning of that phrase was “Don’t quit. Keep trying.” Here’s the deal, though. We usually perceive that phrase to mean keep doing what you’re doing until it works. Well, sometimes it doesn’t. Stephen Covery taught me that “If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.” If that’s working out for you, GREAT! Keep doing it, but if it’s not, don’t keep trying again. Don’t force it.

 

I was honored to serve as the Senior Enlisted Advisor to the Commander of the 92^nd Air Refueling Wing in Spokane Washington, under the leadership of Brigadier General Gary Voellger. What a great leader! The wing was preparing for a major inspection. We did a lot of the right things, but there was this one process that we just couldn’t make work. As we often did in those days (probably hasn’t changed), when a process didn’t work, we did it faster and harder. Force it until it works. Get a bigger hammer! During a senior staff meeting, General Voellger asked about that process. All of the senior officers at the table related to the general why it wasn’t working, and that we’d tried and tried. He asked a simple question that changed everything: “Have you tried something else?” It’s like the heavens opened up. No, we hadn’t. We were going to work harder and faster instead, by God. That was the way.

 

Dr Covey taught that if at first you don’t succeed, find out why, develop a better process, then try again. 

 

Maybe things have changed in the past 40 years, and I’m not telling you anything new. But maybe this simple consideration will change everything. If it does, you’re welcome!

 

Be GREAT! You ARE! HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

 

 

The Most Important Thing in the World!

In my Power of Values workshops, I ask participants if they have values. They always answer yes. I ask them to tell me what they are. Crickets…. Most people really don’t know what their values are. They don’t even know what the term “value” means. It means “what’s important.” I always get surprised looks when I share with them that my highest value is ME! OMG! That’s sacrilege! How selfish! GET OVER IT! We’ve been brainwashed into thinking that serving others is the most important thing we can do. NO, it’s NOT! Taking care of ourselves is the most important thing we can do. We cannot give what we do not have. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we’re no good to anyone!

 

I had a friend. I won’t tell you his name because Dave may not appreciate it. He was Deb and my bodyguard at our basketball games. He protected us from terrorists. Me, mostly from officials when I yelled at them. One season, Deb and I missed Dave after not seeing him at several consecutive games. We asked his sub if he was okay. She told us that he’d had a heart attack, but that he was recovering well. OH, CRAP! We hadn’t heard but were concerned for him. A few games later, he was back! Deb and I were grateful to see our friend again. He was smiling! That was good! After big glad-to-see-you’re-okay hugs, we got to talking about what had happened to him. He acknowledged that he’d had a heart attack. “I’m doing well now, though,” he told us. “I’m now on a diet and exercising regularly.” NOW? I didn’t say what I was thinking since it didn’t seem appropriate, but I was thinking, “Maybe you should have done that BEFORE you had a heart attack?!”

 

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, you know. But we can attempt to practice FOREsight and maybe Insight, so-to-speak.

 

In staying with my admonition to take care of ourselves FIRST, the foundational area of our humanity is the physical. If we don’t take care of our bodies, nothing else matters. There’s a point in our lives where that becomes critical. Actually, it’s ALWAYS critical. We just don’t realize it or often neglect it. Now, let me tell you, I don’t always practice what I preach. But I try. 

 

I’m writing this before you wake up. Here, shortly, I’ll head downstairs to my home gym to work out. I work out six times a week for 80 minutes each time. My regular exercise program isn’t geared toward losing weight, although I wish I could, but more toward maintaining my fitness. I’m so grateful to my friend Dave because he’s often my inspiration to work out. I don’t want to have a heart attack before I start taking care of myself.

 

I’m no expert, but I’ve read plenty on physical fitness that encourages us to work out at least three times a week, twenty to thirty minutes per session. Here are a couple of suggestions if you have trouble getting going: Listening to music helps me INCREDIBLY! Sometimes, I get into the music and don’t even realize that I’m huffing and puffing. It’s more like dancing on that elliptical. I watch videos while I pedal away on that bike-that-goes-nowhere-fast. Again, I get into a zone that makes time go by quicker. Find a Workout Buddy if that helps. There’s an app for that. 

 

My overall point here, again, is that we have to take care of ourselves FIRST, and the first way is through physical fitness. That also includes diet, which I’m terrible at, as well as rest and sleep, which are different. Rest, for me, is solitude and meditation. I do it as often as my Apple Watch tells me to. I told you that there’s an app for that. Although many of my friends don’t believe I sleep, I do. Six hours. That works for me. And when I sleep, I sleep well. Deb would attest to that.

 

Do your best to stay physically fit. It’s the most important thing in the world! In your world. Don’t wait. Start now! I’m heading down to my gym. Gotta take care of myself so that I can take care of others, including you!

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

 

Happy Interdependence Day!

Independence Day! Fourth of July!  Words that conjure up visions of neighborhood barbecues, family reunions, hometown parades, afternoon concerts in the park, fireworks and…you get the picture!  Great ways to celebrate!  Celebrate what?  Independence?  Yes. Historically, Fourth of July celebrations commemorate the anniversary of U.S. independence, but few of us really think about that as we enjoy the day and the long weekend.  Do you?

 

What I think about on this most important day is celebrating interdependence!  When we use the term “United States,” we usually think of a country bordered by the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans on the east and west and by Canada and Mexico on the north and south.  Geographically, that is correct.  However, what’s really most important about the United States is its internal makeup.  People!  People of diverse backgrounds and cultures that somehow accept each other, for the most part, and interact, combine their efforts, and become one nation.  

 

Do you remember the concept of the melting pot?  It was the idea that someday all of the different cultures represented in the U.S. would combine into one.  I refer to that idea in the past tense because I’m not sure anyone subscribes to it anymore.  Not too many years ago, another concept evolved using the illustration of the salad bowl.  The idea of the salad bowl is that it takes many different individual ingredients to make up a healthy dish.  Each of which is important to the whole.  You can have a salad without some of the ingredients, but it won’t taste the same, nor will it maintain its health value.  Such is the culture of the United States.  People who call themselves African Americans, Hispanics, Asian Americans, Italian Americans, Irish Americans, and the list goes on, each have their own individual histories, traditions, and cultures that, together, make us one people. We call ourselves, and each other, Americans.

 

There is nothing that any of us can do on a daily basis that isn’t somehow dependent on someone else to do their part.  What’s made the United States a great nation is that we’ve accepted each other’s differences and have built on them.  As Dr Stephen Covey said, “Unity is not sameness, it’s complementariness.”  He went on to challenge us to “celebrate the differences!”

 

As we celebrate Independence Day, and the freedom that comes with it, consider that the greatest freedom is the opportunity to appreciate the many different contributions our neighbors and coworkers have made to helping us enjoy the life we lead. Be grateful for that.  We’re all different, but we’re all the same.  We’re free because of what we do for each other.  Think of this day, the Fourth of July, as Interdependence Day! 

 

Isn’t this a GREAT day to be an American?!

Power!

 

Clench your fists. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Look at them. THAT is what many “leaders” think power is. Having control. Being able to tell people what to do. Being the “leader.” Let me ask you…how much can you give with clenched fists? Don’t you clench your fists when you’re about to FIGHT someone? Is that how a leader leads? By fighting? Doubtful.

 

Now, spread your arms wide, hands open, palms facing up. I know, it’s freaking out folks around you. Keep them wondering…! NOW, how much can you give? All you have, right? Isn’t that more powerful? As one of my mentors, Don Miguel Ruiz says, “You cannot give what you do not have.” And you certainly can’t give with closed fists! But with open arms and hands, you can give what’s most important for a leader to share…Don Miguel would tell you that it’s love!

 

I’ve suggested several times that the most important thing a leader does is care. That’s the truth! And caring is the manifestation of love. Ask Don Miguel!

 

I’ve read books and heard speakers talk about how to manage people. You already know that there’s a HUGE difference between managing and leading. Managers manage things and processes. Leaders empower people to lead themselves! Control is required to make a process work. Caring is required to help people grow! You can’t use management techniques to lead and expect them to follow. Ain’t gonna happen!

 

I served in the United States Air Force for 50 years. Although it’s a bit different in the civilian world, I’m convinced that the measure of a military leader’s ability to lead is based on whether or not her followers are willing to die for her. Maybe it’s NOT that different in the civilian world. Will your followers do ANYTHING they can to protect you? If so, it’s not because you fought with them. It’s because you cared for them.

 

Tony Robbins says that power is the capacity to act effectively. It’s the next level of what dictionary.com says. Who has the capacity to act effectively? Who has power? EVERYONE! If you claim, or aspire, to be a leader, you have to help others empower themselves so that, together, you can accomplish things beyond your separate dreams. As Stephen Covey taught me, 1+1=3 or more.

 

Open your arms! Welcome others and their diverse thoughts! Embrace them! Physically and spiritually! And celebrate their differences. Every one of us is different! But we all want the same things. As Simon Sinek says, we all want to be valued and valuable. Pick the way to do that…with clenched fists or open arms. Only one way will work. Your choice…! 

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

                       ¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!

 

We Don’t Understand the Struggle!

 

My Princess Number One, our first granddaughter, Nieves, and I were visiting my parents in New Mexico, as was our annual tradition. We stayed with Mom and Dad. They were Old School Types. In other words, they had no internet in the house. Nieves was about twelve at the time. Not having internet was driving her nuts! She couldn’t communicate with her friends back home. She had a phone, but no internet! How unAmerican! I was almost okay without it, but not quite. I decided to help calm Nieves down by taking her to breakfast at McDonald’s, where they DID have internet. As we walked into the restaurant, I was giving Nieves a hard time about her need for online connection. She shut me down quickly when she said, “Opa, you don’t understand the struggle.” I had no reply to her statement. She was right! I didn’t.

 

I’m not sure when it happens, but it does. We all evolve to a point where we think, usually say, “Been there. Done that.” But that’s not so. We’ve NEVER been here, nor done this. Life evolves constantly and, nowadays, faster than ever. 

            

We NEVER understand their struggle…our followers’ struggle. We barely understand OUR struggle. We don’t know what someone else has been through, or is going through, even if we’ve raised them. How many times have you wondered where “that” came from when your child surprises you with a “crazy” thought or behavior? Or one of your followers whom you had finally figured out. Yeah, RIGHT!

            

We don’t understand their struggle, whoever we’re trying to understand, or worse, control. The best we can do is practice empathy. Try to understand that they feel as they do. Don’t judge. You’re not worthy of that. Remember that their struggle is a lot different than yours, especially past struggles. The world changes constantly. To be an effective leader, you have to change, too. Seek to understand them before expecting them to understand you!

 

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

Discipline vs Punishment

 

There’s a difference between discipline and punishment! If you’re striving to be a leader, know the difference and strive for discipline.

 

We wonder why we have leadership problems in our culture, yet our perspective on developing followers is mostly based on forcing people to do what we want them to do. How’s that working for you?

 

When we strive to develop discipline, we tend to be more effective as leaders. Effectiveness, by the way, is simply getting what you want continuously. We want our followers to be great and do what they should do, even when we’re not around. That’s the sign of a good leader. The root of the word discipline is disciple. Now, I’m not proselytizing here, I’m just telling you the truth. A disciple is a follower. One who follows a leader to the degree of doing what the leader expects without being told. Now, discipleship doesn’t just happen. There has to be a reason followers follow a leader. The most powerful reason is that the leader cares. It may start with the leader saying he/she cares, but the power is in SHOWING you care! How do you show you care? The more you practice caring, the more your followers will follow you. Eventually, they’ll become your disciples. I, myself, am a disciple of several leaders, each of whom has, and many still do, shown me that they care. In MY language, which includes actions! 

 

One of the ways we “discipline” our followers is by making sure everyone pays for the indiscretions of a few, often, one. And, man, does that ever work! NOT! That’s PUNISHMENT! When that happens, and it does, the intent is that everyone will understand that we’re a team and that the actions of one affect everyone. We have to ensure that everyone does what’s right. You’d think we’d know better! Punishing everyone for the actions of one has never worked and never will. Sorry, but that’s the truth!

 

Now, I’m not advocating anarchy! What I AM advocating is that leaders, YOU, consider developing your followers into people who follow you for the right reasons, and do the right things even when you’re not around. That’s discipline. And that’s leading!

 

 

            Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

 

¡HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

 

Managing People is Puzzling!

 

I recently read an article titled, “Managing people is puzzling.” Two key terms in that statement: “managing” and “puzzling,” especially as it pertains to “people,” which is the third key term. I’m not very good at math. First of all, you can’t manage people. You can try, but you’ll fail. Managers manage and control things. People are not things. What’s puzzling is why anyone would see a group of persons, or people, as things. And you can’t use management techniques trying to lead people, which is what we say leaders do. The puzzling reference is puzzling if you have a Puzzle Mentality. Managers practice a Puzzle Mentality. Leaders create a Mosaic Mentality. Keep reading. I’ll get you to that soon.

 

            By function, a Puzzle Mentality requires that we, persons, fit a preconceived mold, a picture, a perception, or a vision based on someone else’s perspective of who we should be or what we should do, even how we should do it. That’s restrictive. It’s bounded by external perspectives and influences. It doesn’t allow for creativity or innovation unless it’s creating that preconceived vision.

 

            If you’ve ever done a jigsaw puzzle, you’ve probably used the box, the picture of what the puzzle is supposed to look like, so that it will guide you. The completion of that puzzle is limited to that picture. It’s restrictive. With that mentality, followers can only go so far. They can’t go beyond the boundaries someone else has set. It creates a “where do I fit in mentality.” What if you’re so creative, which is what we’re looking for in our followers, that you DON’T fit in? “Then, I’m out! I’ll find somewhere else to be me.”

 

            With the Mosaic Mentality, which starts at the center and works its way out, there is no mold. There’s a purpose, and each part, each person, creates their own part of the picture by applying what they have to offer to the big picture. There’s no preconceived picture, it grows continuously. It creates a “how do I fit in” mentality that becomes art, and that’s creative and empowering. It’s boundless. Each person creates the picture by applying their best part of themselves. That’s what most of your followers want. They want to be them, not you.

 

            The fourth and final key term in the statement that I shared with you at the beginning of this thought is “is.” I know that you’ve heard someone say that “It is what it is.” Well, actually, NO, It’s NOT!! It is what we make it. Managing people IS puzzling. DON’T! It doesn’t work! That’s what makes it puzzling and exhausting. Discard your Puzzle Mentality and develop a Mosaic Mentality that invites continuous growth. Every person on your team will appreciate you and will give you more…because they’re giving you themselves.

 

Until next time, be GREAT! You ARE! 

HEIRPOWER!

 

bob vásquez!

 

 

 

Winning!

 

Winning is great! But there’s something even better!

Several years ago, I was nominated for the title of Civilian Employee of the Year. Even though being nominated is a pretty cool thing, winning is better. But there’s something even better than that! 

One of the other nominees was one of my proteges. I was competing with someone I’d brought up and respected highly. He was one of my prize students, one of my Shining Stars. We talked before the winner was announced and offered each other congratulations and best wishes. We were both humbled and proud of each other’s accomplishments that year. 

Finally, the announcement was made. He won! You may not believe it, but I was truly elated! Yeah, I was still a competitive kind of guy, but not that much. In a way, we BOTH won. Immediately after accepting his award, he came over to me and thanked me and told me how the award was ours. “No,” I told him, ‘it’s YOURS and it’s well deserved. I was just there to support you in becoming your best self.”

There’s a scene in the movie Rudy where Rudy is carried off the field by his teammates at the end of the game. That happened to me. In a different way. And it was GREAT! In the middle of that scene, there’s a very short shot of Rudy’s mentor, the stadium janitor, Fortune, played by Charles S Dutton, where he’s beaming for Rudy’s accomplishments. That scene is the perfect depiction of how I felt seeing my protégé win.

It’s great to win. But what’s better is when someone you’ve helped empower themselves to be even better than you wins. There’s something magical about having helped someone reach their potential. That’s the ultimate purpose of being a leader. Not so much leading, but helping one of your followers get to where they succeed. I hope you feel that way someday, if you haven’t already. When it happens, you’ll understand. I call it HEIRPOWER!

Until next time, Be GREAT! You ARE!

¡HEIRPOWER!

bob vásquez!